David Shearer suddenly remembers affair

The Civilian reports

David Shearer says the two year long affair just slipped his mind

David Shearer says the two year long affair just slipped his mind

Labour Leader David Shearer has today revealed that, for a two year period between July 2009 and November 2011, he engaged in a romantic affair with a young office worker at his Mt. Albert electorate office in Auckland. Shearer claims that he “only just remembered” the affair and that up until now he had “completely forgotten it.”

The Leader of the Opposition told his wife and children of the affair last night, before calling a press conference outside his office this morning to explain it to the media.

“So I was sitting at home with Anuschka last night” said Shearer, referring to his wife of more than two decades. “We were watching old DVDs of Desperate Housewives, and there was some sort of dirty hanky panky going on between one of the wives and this younger man who wasn’t her husband. And I turned to Anuschka and I said ‘Oh yeah, I did that once.’”

“She was pretty upset” said Shearer. “But look, as I’ve told you, I’d completely forgotten. I meant to tell her earlier, but it must’ve just slipped my mind.”

read the rest at The Civilian


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  • This is a pretty disgusting and cowardly attempt to smear they guy.

    Funny? Some people might think it so but I don’t.

    If you don’t put any limits on the way you behave yourself, you are no better than the left.

    • Phar Lap

      He didn’t seem too upset when he cruzified John Banks,i thought that was pathetic Shearer obviously didnt.

    • Agent BallSack

      You’re the arbiter of what’s humour and satire in the world? I think not.

    • johnbronkhorst

      US bag men ring a bell?
      John Keys scandals in Melbourne?
      Movies made at GCSQ?
      Secret deals with Warner Bros???
      Corruption at sky city??
      No, they weren’t funny either.. didn’t stop them being untrue though did it??

    • I agree. Betrayal of your wife is way worse than having legitimately earned money in an offshore bank account. It’s not even in the same ball park.

      • johnbronkhorst

        it’s not about how he earned it!!!! It’s about him not declaring it. As his employment contract (in parliament) REQUIRED him to do!!!!

        • That’s not the comparison this post is making.

          • johnbronkhorst

            simpleton!!!!! the whole issue is about his NON declaration!!!

          • So anything is justified if there is another issue, huh?

            The problem is, it seems, this is the wrong type of satire for you to understand what I’m talking about.

            If the smear was calling Shearer a Nazi or gay, would that maybe clarify the point for you?

    • Mr_Blobby

      Come on Red HTFA

  • LionKing

    The Labour caucus has seen 14 marriage breakups. They’re in complete shambles, and no wonder they’re all rat-fucking each other.

    • Phar Lap

      Quite right ,all he was trying to do was take the heat of Phil Goff and Annette King ,when they tried to do the big coverup on Darren Hughes alleged Paedo trying to once more hide alleged rape of a naked drunken student in Kings Wgton house.Also he didn’t like to feel he was the odd man out.

  • Phar Lap

    Rumour has it ,it was either Sue Bradford or Pam Cockery.

    • Well, he doesn’t mention that the person he had the affair with was a women, so it may have been Sue Bradford.

  • Changeiscoming

    This is not real…right?

  • paddles83

    Don’t you realise the Um Um Um Um prick has dementia
    and’s not sure if was Male or Female, then again if it was either Bradford or
    Corckery take your pick

  • Mr_Blobby

    Now how does it work.

    Watching some dirty hanky panky on TV with wifey “oh yeah I did that once” or twice or three times, actually it has slipped my mind how many times.

    Over a period of nearly two years, every time I walked into the office, my much younger office worker just happened to be lying on her back, with no panties, and her legs apart. I unfortunately tripped and my penis accidentally slipped into her vagina.

  • disqus_NwDSdKjjeZ

    NZ Politics has definitely slipped to new lows with the level of “forgetfulness” occurring on both sides of the fence!!!
    I was taught “society will always get the politicans they deserve!: how true!