Kim Jong-Un Comes Out In Support Of Gay Marriage

The Onion is brilliant yet again. Kim Jong-un has declared his support for gay marriage, telling everyone that he is not a monster:

As the U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments Tuesday on the constitutionality of banning same-sex marriage, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un told reporters that, considering he’s not a completely awful human being, he unequivocally believes that gay people should be able to marry. 

“Of course I believe gay and lesbian couples should be treated equally under the law, for God’s sake; I’m not a monster,” the despotic leader said, adding that the idea of trying to stop a loving couple from legally marrying one another is not only wrong from a moral and ethical standpoint but also violates the Fourteenth Amendment.

“I have no idea what’s going on with the justices over there, to be honest. The whole thing is a fucking embarrassment.” Kim added that, should the Supreme Court not declare same-sex marriage constitutional in all 50 states, he would strongly consider launching a nuclear weapon at the United States.

Does this make Bob McCoskrie and Colin Craig monsters?


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • rouppe

    No, it means he’s lying. He’ll send someone to the labour camp for questioning his leadership but supports gay marriage?

    Give me a break

    • Random66

      The Onion is satire – it’s not supposed to be true, just funny.

    • redeye

      If it was true he would have said
      “Of course I berieve gay and resbian coupes shud be treated equarry under the raw, for God’s sake; I’m not a monster,”

      • jonno1

        “Why you no risten? Sirry iriot!” (With apologies to the late Benny Hill).

  • Mr_Blobby

    I think you are just taking the piss now. Just because he looks like a gay cunt.

  • DJ

    The scary thing is, this guy is that unstable that the article itself would be enough for him to declare war.

    • Random66

      Or at the very least don’t stand on ‘x marks the spot’ when he’s playing with mortars.

  • Jman

    There is a reasonably high chance that someone in the upper echelons of the regime in North Korea will come across the Onion article and believe it to be true.

  • spollyike

    If someone like this is in support of Homosexual hookups being called marriage then that is even more reason for NZ’ers not to support it.

    • TomTom

      And yet another idiot who believes what the Onion write.

      • spollyike

        OMG, you think i believe this??????

        • TomTom

          For christ sake. If you’re going to write like that, you deserve a bullet straight between your eyes.

          There are far better ways to try and express your sarcasm without doing it like a teenaged girl.

  • BJ

    Isn’t it obvious – he looks gay himself