Sad but true

At first reading I thought I was looking at a transcript of parliament yesterday, and then I realised that Scott Yorke at Imperator Fish had actually written a parody.

David Shearer: Thank you Mr Speaker, my question now to the Minister of State Owned Enterprises: Has the Government met the five criteria the Prime Minister laid out for proceeding with asset sales?

Tony Ryall: Blue cheese.

Shearer: Point of order, Mr Speaker. What kind of answer was that?

Mr Speaker: The minister answered the question. He may not have given the answer you wanted, but he nevertheless gave an answer. Do you have any supplementary questions?

Shearer: When the Prime Minister said that the third criterion would be that companies would need to present good investment opportunities for investors, with which international investors had the Prime Minister had discussions that have yet to be made public?

Ryall: The capital of Hungary is Budapest. The capital of Romania is Bucharest.

Shearer: Point of order! Mr Speaker, shouldn’t the minister at least make some effort to answer the question? My question was not directed to European capitals.

Mr Speaker: The member well knows that matters of geography are directly relevant to the question. The member has asked questions about international investors, and some of those investors may well be from Hungary or Romania.

Shearer: But Mr Speaker—

Mr Speaker: I have ruled on the matter. Does the member have any supplementary questions?

The sad thing though about David Carter’s inept speakership is that he is still better than Margaret Wilson ever was. The only funny party about the travesty the speakership now resembles is the wailing from the left that the Speaker is no longer fair and impartial…two words: Margaret Wilson. Though it would be tempting to tell the left to suck it up, I don’t think a useless speaker does anyone any favours in the long run.

I don’t think that Carter is helping things. Scott kind of nails it with this…probably more true than parody:

Mallard: Point of order, Mr Speaker. That was no kind of proper answer. Ministers cannot simply reply by saying they refuse to answer the question.

Mr Speaker: And yet I say they can.

Mallard: Then what is the point of this exercise? The integrity of this House is diminished if ministers can simply refuse to answer questions, or give frivolous responses.

Mr Speaker: I would remind the member that I never wanted this job. But I’ve been promised a knighthood and a cushy high commission role somewhere nice if I do this, and why would I risk that by being fair and impartial?

Brownlee: Point of order, Mr Speaker. You are to be congratulated for your perspicacity.

I think I can safely predict that David Carter will announce next year that he is retiring at the 2014 election.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story.  And when he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet.   Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet, and as a result he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist that takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him.  But you can’t ignore him.

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