Still searching for NZ’s most useless MP

Commenters have gone on and on about David Carter being useless. He is a list MP, he did nothing as minister and is being mocked for being useless as a speaker.

David Carter is a useless scum list MP. He lost his seat to Ruth Dyson and never regained it. His ministerial career was un-memorable apart from consistently lying about the One Plan Decision, and he is has failed to hold ministers to account in a way that makes question time meaningless.

At first reading I thought I was looking at a transcript of parliament yesterday, and then I realised that Scott Yorke at Imperator Fish had actually written a parody.

David Shearer: Thank you Mr Speaker, my question now to the Minister of State Owned Enterprises: Has the Government met the five criteria the Prime Minister laid out for proceeding with asset sales?

Tony Ryall: Blue cheese. 
Shearer: Point of order, Mr Speaker. What kind of answer was that?

Mr Speaker: The minister answered the question. He may not have given the answer you wanted, but he nevertheless gave an answer. Do you have any supplementary questions?

Shearer: When the Prime Minister said that the third criterion would be that companies would need to present good investment opportunities for investors, with which international investors had the Prime Minister had discussions that have yet to be made public?

Ryall: The capital of Hungary is Budapest. The capital of Romania is Bucharest.

Shearer: Point of order! Mr Speaker, shouldn’t the minister at least make some effort to answer the question? My question was not directed to European capitals.

Mr Speaker: The member well knows that matters of geography are directly relevant to the question. The member has asked questions about international investors, and some of those investors may well be from Hungary or Romania.

Shearer: But Mr Speaker—

Mr Speaker: I have ruled on the matter. Does the member have any supplementary questions?

He isn’t our most useless MP because he actually made it to the ministry, and has become speaker. Uselessness is about achieving nothing, about squandering a career on the backbenches, staying way past your used by date and not being missed when you go.

People will notice when David Carter goes.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

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