Was Clark involved in Shearer sudden memory recovery?

Shearer 1

Chris Trotter writes in a  post entitled “Lies, Damned Lies and imagined Conversations”:

“So, now the Labour caucus is divided into three, roughly equal groups”, explains Charles. “Goff’s and King’s rear-guard of has-beens and Beagle Boys – with Mr Mumbles as their figurehead. David’s loyal ten, and Robertson’s cast of the young and the restless. You must have at least one of the other factions, plus your own, to mount a successful coup.

“And Goff persuaded Robertson to throw in his lot with Shearer?”

“Yeah, that’s right, Heather, he did.”

“But I just don’t get it!” Helen responds. “Surely the more sensible combination was Cunliffe-Robertson – not Shearer-Robertson. I mean, even a Robertson/Ardern leadership combination, with Cunliffe in Finance, makes more sense than this present mess?”

“Why do you think I’m here in New York, Helen? None of it makes any sense!”

Heather puts down her knife and fork and beckons her companions closer.

“What would happen if Shearer was to be forced out of the leadership by something other than a leadership vote?” 

“Such as?”

“What if I were to tell you that a friend of a friend of a friend of mine in the UN pay office discovered that Shearer still has an active bank account at Merrill-Lynch?”

“I would say that because it isn’t mentioned on the Members’ Registrar of Pecuniary Interests,” Charles replies, “it can’t have very much in it.”

“What if I were to tell you that there’s at least $US100,000 deposited in that account?”

“One hundred thousand dollars! In a foreign account! Jesus Christ! We’ve got him!”

“Shhh! Shhh! Charles. Keep your voice down!”

The three companions put their heads closer together and begin talking in low whispers.

Sounds believable…so does this next part:

The man at the nearby table rises unobtrusively to his feet and makes his way to the restaurant foyer. He takes out his I-Phone and activates the number of his old friend David. …..

….. The scene shifts to the Leader of the Opposition’s office in New Zealand Parliament Buildings. David Shearer is softly singing The Hotel California – accompanying himself on his own guitar. His cell-phone starts ringing. Shearer sighs, puts down his guitar, retrieves his phone and checks the caller display. He frowns.

“Mike! Mate! It’s been ages!”

“Yeah, yeah, David, it has. But listen-up. You’re in trouble. I’m in a new York restaurant, and I’ve just overheard Helen Clark, Heather Simpson and that new lawyer guy who’s just arrived in town talking about you at the next table. David, they know about your Merrill-Lynch account – and how much is in it.”

“Oh, shit!”

“Yeah, very much ‘Oh, shit!’, buddy. And from what the lawyer guy was saying, you haven’t declared it.”

“Oh, fuck!”

“David, are you crazy! That’s the account with all the donations from your friends in the private military and security companies. How could you be so stupid?”

“Jesus, Mike, what should I do?”

“Declare it, you idiot – before your enemies do!”

“But, how will I explain not declaring it for four straight years?”

“Buddy, I don’t know. But if I were you I’d think of something pretty quick.”

“Okay, okay. Hell! Thanks, mate. I really owe you one.”

“No problem, Dave. Take care. And Dave …”


“Smarten up!”

Shearer pockets his phone, opens his office door and shouts.


Now tell me again how it was that David Shearer managed to file returns on this account with IRD but not with parliament. Tell me how he just forgot about an indeterminate amount of hooter thought to be well in excess of $100,000 but could be closer to a million dollars. Tell me why David Shearer still needs and offshore account anyway more than four years after he left the UN.

Aren’t offshore accounts dirty anyway? …the stuff of multi-millionaires, tax havens, money laundering and the like.


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  • Steve R

    He’s got all that money in an american bank account as a case study to see exactly what happens to large sums of money when a fiat economy fails . This is so he can give his new best mate Russell norman a heads up on his money printing plan .

    But this just shows how naive Shearer really is because Russell already knows the answer to that question , Its all part of his cunning plan .

  • williamabong

    Certainly her and the other witches style, now Chubby Charlie the Nut Man is back in the fold, anything is possible.
    As long as Sheep is in charge of Labour they remain, for all intents and purposes, un-electable, so a stunt like this is well within her grasp, especially when you factor in the UN connection.

    • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

      Isn’t that what we want? Sheep to lead Labourers in the 2014 election?

      • StupidDisqus

        No. We want brutal 3-way factional infighting, at best a formal split into 2-3 parties, Labour & Greens on 10-15% each and a clear National government with a 60% mandate that absolutely no-one can argue with.

        And then, as Ruth put it, we finally finish the fucking job and wipe out everything Labour has ever done! Dole, DPB, ACC, WFF, DHBs, State schools, unions wipe out the whole lot

        When Hellen conceded she said: “I just utter one fear, and that is that I do hope that all we have put in place doesn’t go up in flames on the bonfire of Right-wing politics.”

        Well it’s been five years already, Key’s do nothing, and we’re sick and tired of waiting.

  • cows4me

    But if She Beast and her witches coven were out to get Mr Mumbles wouldn’t the amount in his account be released to drive the stake in further?

    • williamabong

      If the first torpedo doesn’t send the good ship Sheep to the bottom it’s opportune to have the second one loaded and ready to go,watch this space.

    • Jimmie

      Could be a play from WO own hand book. Fire the first salvo, wait for the denials and spin attempts, and hit them with a broadside where the denials & spin attempts become part of the fatal blow.

      In this case Shearer’s spin in relation to him and his wife sitting down doing taxes (before the end of the tax year) and discovering this ‘oversight’ could well be hammered via leaked emails or the such like.

      The only question for me is the timing. When does the final salvo hit? Short term or longer term? Perhaps at the next leadership vote or during 2014 election campaign?

      I would say if it is short term then camp Cunliffe must be mixed up with this – longer term perhaps the Nats or a Charlie Shovel b#ch slap asTrotter is insinuating?

      What is very apparent to an outsider is what Shearer has revealed is definitely an ice berg tip – he was obviously forced into this disclosure – almost rushed as his cover story isn’t credible.

      • blokeintakapuna

        I wonder how pleased his wife is having to backstop Shearer’s explanation? Would she feel her own personal integrity was compromised if she had to lie to protect the validity of his story?

        • StupidDisqus

          Heh heh heh. Can you say “Chris Huhne & Vicky Pryce”

          If she’s did that then its gaol for both of ’em

        • Jimmie

          Probably depends on how ambitious she is to be the power behind the throne post 2014

      • Timboh


    • Timboh

      To plagiarise ratesarerevolting “Helen Clark is a prick”

      • StupidDisqus

        She’s got a bigger dick & bigger balls than “smile & wave” has for sure.

        4 years of Clark as PM, the country was almost unrecognizable from the country Shipley left.

        4 years of Key as PM, the country is exactly the same way Clark left it.

  • Cadwallader

    Above all else the disclosure of this bank account records the utter hypocrisy of the Labour losers. When Shearer got the leadership job he was lauded as having been a wonderful humanitarian while living overseas, while John Key was criticised for having been overseas to further his personal money-grab. I suspect the Shearer ambition and Key’s lifestyle are remarkably similar. I endorse anyone who seeks financial betterment, but why be two-faced about it as Labour losers generally are? (Not to forget: Shearer earned at the UN trough rather than in open commerce as Key did.)

    • Macca

      Well said! Yes, if memory serves me correctly, that was how the media portrayed Shearer ie. dodging bullets and saving the starving masses, whilst dressed in rags and doing it all for nothing whilst that rich prick John Key holidays in Hawaii and lords it up on overseas trips with royalty etc – another biased picture painted by the MSM who are never held to account!

  • Sym Gardiner

    He’s got all that $$$ in a US account because you would have to be a special type of stupid to bring it back into NZD with the exchange rate being so high.
    However you have to be a whole another level of stupid not to have declared it!

    • Callum

      Except it has been there for four years, back then the exchange rate meant it made sense to bring it back to NZ.

  • unsol

    Highly amusing but annoying as hell as no doubt most of it is all true.

    I never expect much from the left, but what a shame there is no such a thing as an honest, decent politician.

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Next Tui statement – “Honey it is a honest mistake. I forgot the spare 100 million in the attic….yeah right”

  • Liberty

    So what we have is UN worker with a few bucks . Takes it to Merrill-lynch who
    turn it into $100,000

    (Merrill-Lynch do have a reputation for hiring really switched on investors. )

    Then he gets a posting to run a failed Political party. Hard choice scorpions
    and snakes in the desert or rats in a Beehive.

    on arrival to his horror. He discovers not only is the labour party imploding. it full of lefty has-beens and anything to do with success and profit is very dirty.

    Meanwhile he has $100,000 in a evil capitalist American bank.
    He should of listened to aunty and moved the loot to Cuba.

    • Anonymouse Coward

      “Merrill-Lynch do have a reputation for hiring really switched on investors.”

      VOICE ON TELEPHONE: “Hullo is that Liberty? …. Merrill-Lynch here. We have some of our MBS(Mortgage Backed Securities) that we would like you to buy. … Sorry to hear that bridge in Brooklyn we sold you is not working out. These MBS’s are the real deal, trust me.”

  • Phar Lap

    Seems often forgotten,is the type of goodie two shoes person with high moral tones,and butter wouldn.t melt in their mouths aura ,are in fact more deadly than a female on heat ,and even more conniving,and convincing,and corrupt.

  • Patrick

    The insinuation that the account has accumulated various backhanders from other parties is something that requires further examination – that could bring the house of cards tumbling down.

  • PlanetOrphan

    Interesting style these imagined conversations.
    Watch out CT, they’ll be calling you craazzy next M8!

  • sheppy

    Reminds me of the phrase “people in glasshouses shouldn’t throw stones”

  • Anonymouse Coward

    A correction. Sheep’s account is with J P Morgan Chase.

    You may be confused with the bank the Naked Emperor used to work at.

    Rumour has it the J P Morgan Chase has written a lot of naked futures contracts in precious metal markets. So many that if they were called on to physically deliver the precious metal they would fail and default.

    It would be terrible if Sheep had to suffer a Cyprus style haircut in his account to save the bank

  • StupidDisqus

    Whale: it doesn’t matter how or why or how much.

    All it matters is that Shearer misled parliament.

  • StupidDisqus

    And let’s remember the prize of chopping Shearer now: Aussie style factional fighting in Labour. Perhaps even a formal split! National with an unassailable majority – say 60%, for at least another two terms.

    And finally we get to light the right-wing bonfire and burn everything that Labour has ever done – right back to 1916.