What to do if an asteroid is going to hit Earth, NASA’s advice

The advice is simple. Pray.

Failing that bend over and kiss your ass goodbye:

Charles Bolden, the chief of the Nasa, has warned that the US space agency’s best advice on how to handle a large asteroid heading towards New York City is “pray”.

Mr Bolden told US lawmakers that prayer was all that the US or anyone could currently do about unknown asteroids and meteors that may be on a collision course with Earth. 

An asteroid estimated to be have been about 55 feet (17 metres) in diameter exploded on Feb 15 over Chelyabinsk, Russia, generating shock waves that shattered windows and damaged buildings. More than 1,500 people were injured.

Later that day, a larger, unrelated asteroid discovered last year passed about 17,200 miles (27,681 km) from Earth, closer than the network of television and weather satellites that ring the planet.

The events “serve as evidence that we live in an active solar system with potentially hazardous objects passing through our neighborhood with surprising frequency,” said Representative Eddie Bernice Johnson, a Texas Democrat.

“We were fortunate that the events of last month were simply an interesting coincidence rather than a catastrophe,” said US House of Representatives Science Committee chairman Lamar Smith, a Texas Republican.


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  • PlanetOrphan

    Good advice, sooner rather than later as well M8!

    • Mr_Blobby

      Fuck Orphan you need to get out and live a bit. Take a picture it will last longer.

      • PlanetOrphan

        Thanks, I’ll add it to my bucket list M8!

        • toby_toby

          If you just write ‘mate’ instead of ‘M8’ you will come across much better.

          • PlanetOrphan

            But MATE! seems a bit much?
            I am a shoot from the hip bogan afterall m8.

          • toby_toby

            It’s only too emotive if you insist on typing it in all caps.

          • PlanetOrphan

            Exactly M8! :-)

          • toby_toby

            Well, you come across as a few Weetbix short of the full packet. The M8 thing is what I chose to highlight because that’s what irritates me the most. Maybe you should post only when fully lucid?

          • PlanetOrphan

            Well we can discuss deep and meaningful if you like.
            Sorry if I offend you.
            How should I “Project” myself to gain Weetbix and lucidity ?

          • toby_toby

            Deep and meaningful is the opposite of what I want from you.

          • PlanetOrphan

            Well come on then enlighten me M8!

          • toby_toby

            Yeah, that’s the thing. You’re trying too hard to be zany.

          • PlanetOrphan

            Ouch … *note-to-self* … *I’m-too-zany* … B-.{{

  • Mediaan

    Or party? We probably should set up University courses in Pre-Asteroid-Collisive Functioning, immediately. The University should build a subsidised Irish Pub on campus to give practical study components to the course.

    (Doncha love the Urban Dictionary? Apparently “wearing Irish handcuffs” means, carrying an alcoholic beverage in both hands.)

  • Rodger T

    Kissing ur arse goodbye would probably give more comfort.