Labour/Green co-press release on Electricity Generation

Via the Tipline:


EMBARGO: Noon, Thursday 18 April 2013

In an unprecedented joint-policy statement between the Green Party and the Labour Party, Green Party co-leader Dr Russel Norman and Labour Party leader David Shearer announce that the next New Zealand government will claim back New Zealanders’ electricity supply using a multi faceted strategy.

“New Zealanders are sick of seeing their power prices rise year after year. They are sick at seeing their power companies being sold off to foreign interests, and they are sick of seeing outdated methods of energy generation such as oil, coal and gas being used to create expensive electricity that pollutes the environment”, said Dr Russel Norman.

“It is time for new thinking in the electricity generation sector. With global warming driven droughts and floods, our hydro generation assets are becoming less reliable, and generating electricity by burning fossil fuel is costly, dirty and inefficient”.

“In New Zealand, we don’t just have a problem with economic power generation, but we also have the challenge where the generation of electricity is mostly done in the least populated part of Aotearoa, and then we have the challenge of transmitting it to the most populated parts via a tenuous cable that runs between Te Ika-a-Maui and Te Waipounamu (North and South Island)”.

“Today, the Green and Labour Parties announce our new Electricity Generation Policy based on Micro Nuclear Power generation. We intend to deploy modular, scalable Light Water Reactor nuclear power plant systems, each unit producing 45MW of electricity throughout New Zealand, starting where it is needed most: in Auckland”.

“The advantage of this system is that the plants are scalable, so a generation facility can have just have 1 unit, or as many as 24 units, depending on the demand for electricity, and the multimodule plants are highly reliable, so one unit can be taken out of service for refuelling or maintenance, or a new unit added without affecting operation of the others”.

“Fuel will be provided by the nuclear waste materials already collected from our hospitals and public and private research and engineering facilities. Until now, nuclear fuel pellets that are no longer viable for medical, research or engineering use have been stockpiled for bulk shipping to an overseas processing facility. The Micro Nuclear Power plants will utilise these pellets to generate electricity for our country”.

“Rivers can be returned to the wild, generation lakes can be returned to the land, and our people can once more enjoy the natural beauty of our country without the scars that hydro generation has caused to date”.

“In practical terms, the cost of electricity generation utilising Micro Nuclear Power generation will be approximately a third of what it costs using fossil fuels and expensive hydro transmission today, while at the same time using clean, safe nuclear power. The fact we can utilise nuclear fuel pellets that were previously wasted fits within our Green reduce, reuse, recycle philosophy.”


Comparative electricity generation costs – New Zealand Green Party

“Nobody is scared to go to hospital because they use nuclear materials in their facilities. There have never been any accidents or incidents. It is this same, safe, efficient fuel that will power our homes and our industries”.

“We will be the envy of the world”, Dr Russel Norman added. “People have been demanding we show them our “Green Tech”, and today we are proud to lead New Zealand into a new and secure era of electricity supply”.


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • Michael

    If only it were true.

  • disqus_hOORptaqWa

    You gotta be kidding. Its not April fools day, is it?

  • rangitoto

    Pathetic! If Kim dot Con can have Mega then we want MEGA nuclear power. Not this feeble mirco stuff

  • Bold Cotton

    This is a wind’up ?

  • Roger

    don’t the greens remember Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant. This is now very green “Tui add” Yeah right !!!

    • Goldie

      It was a badly constructed plant that got hit by a massive tidal wave – pretty unique. Your argument is about as logical as some fool saying that we shouldn’t fly on the basis of one airplane accident.
      Coal-fired power plants spew out more pollution every day killing far more people that Fukushima ever has.

      • James

        It survived an earthquake many times more powerful than it was designed for and then got hit by a massive tsunami that destroyed everything else in its wake. Even then harmful radiation levels were contained and there were no fatalities caused by radiation leaks.
        I would therefore suggest that it was a superbly constructed and engineered plant.

      • How many died from Fukushima? Oh that’s right none. The tsunami however was far more deadly.

  • cows4me

    Is there a good batch of acid in the country, I know the mushrooms are out but they are not strong enough for something like this to come out of the idiots heads.

  • Ronnie Chow

    The Green Taliban wants nukes ?

  • tarkwin

    Far to logical for Labour or the Greens.

  • paddles83

    Must have been a good batch of magic mushrooms last night or April fools day is only 18 days to late

  • Lofty

    Oh how I wish it were true!
    Excellent spoof well done

  • Tony

    you had me for the first half – bastard!

  • hazardsareonitsok

    Gareth did say in the AMA that the greens are announcing a new power strategy.

    • Mr_Blobby

      Maybe but this policy actually made sense, so it can’t by definition be a green policy.

  • Justsayn

    Nice work to the author, very funny

  • Patrick

    Don’t know why we don’t just use a human hamster wheel. Wee Wussel could utilise his Green, high tech industries to produce these for each & every household – it would solve Wussel’s electricity generation issues & solve the “obesity crisis” overnight.

  • Arnie

    Shearer says that every household will get 300kw at a cheap price then are charged a lot higher price for any used above that. Great news for young families Yeah – Right.

    Also employ another 5000 people at what cost and not take any dividends from the power company, where is all this extra money coming from??

    • Honcho

      My thoughts exactly, anyone, especially labour, can not add an extra layer of bureaucracy without INCREASING costs somewhere.

  • Gazzaw

    Probably one of the most significant declarations of intent by the Opposition and we get 20 posts in response. Fucken pathetic Whale Army – where are ya?? All posting on that politically staged non-event that happened last night, that’s where. Get focussed on something that really matters to this country.

  • peterwn

    The bar chart is not quite right. It shows nil production costs for solar. Unfortunately is does not factor in future changes. If the Treaty of Waitangi is appended to the NZ Constitution then Maori will claim sunlight as Taonga and will want royalties.

    • toby_toby

      I don’t believe that there are no production costs for solar even now. You can’t just build a solar plant and then walk away and leave it running by itself. It’s not magic. But Greens produce graphs like these and idiot hippies believe it.

  • Ha bloody ha! (had me fooled for a moment there)

    • Mr_Blobby

      Not hard when you are one eyed.

  • BR

    “New Zealanders are sick of seeing their power prices rise year after year.”

    I’m sick of seeing my rates rise year after year too. What are these two morons going to do about that?