Labour/Green co-press release on Petrol

Via the tipline


EMBARGO: Noon, Friday 19 April 2013

Bolstered by our success with the joint-policy statement between the Green Party and the Labour Party made yesterday, Green Party co-leader Dr Russel Norman and Labour Party leader David Shearer announce that the next New Zealand government will make petrol cheaper for everyone.

“New Zealanders are sick of seeing their petrol prices rise year after year. They are at the behest of greedy multi-nationals that charge whatever the market is willing to pay”, said Dr Russel Norman.

“When the New Zealand dollar goes up, it takes them weeks to lower the price, but when the New Zealand dollar goes down, every service station increases the price overnight.  Even when a manufactured overseas crisis causes fake threats to our fuel supply, the petrol companies are the first to increase our pricing, keeping them artificially high for as long as possible”.

“I am proud to announce our new initiative, Kiwi-Fuel.  A single bulk-buying entity that will purchase all fuel in New Zealand at a highly competitive rate, and then on-sell it to the consumer at a modest markup.”

“Using the Pharmac model, and our much lauded Kiwi-Power initiative announced yesterday, Kiwi-Fuel will guarantee an efficient, state-run, country-wide fuel supply for all kiwis.”


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  • starboard

    lol ! I bet they did contemplate going down that road.

    • Lofty

      I would put a pinch of goat shit on them still contemplating it starboard, all jokes aside.

  • Kaiserm

    If we wanted fuel prices to go down, the Government should just remove some of the massive levies placed upon it. Consumer happy, Petrol Company happy as it will help increase their profit margins.

  • richard.b

    Where do I but shares in the Mixed Ownership Model for Kiwi-Power and Kiwi-Fuel?

    • starboard

      Ring Dave or Wussel..they cranking up the printer as we speak

      • Dave

        Maybe thats why Shearer has all his funds in the offshore bank account. Perhaps its a cunning plan to buy the printing press in the USA and print the money there.

  • Yes I would not be too quick to joke about petrol prices – they are about 40 cents a litre PLUS TAX.
    A couple of billion dollars in welfare spending cuts and we could abolish taxes on petrol thereby cutting the cost of living significantly for decent, respectable NZers.

    • Lofty

      But the liars parties would not be able to resist setting up a state controlled body for the communistic factor alone.

  • Lofty

    More spoof posts like this are needed to point out the hypocrisy and wrong thinking of the liars parties

    • Dave

      I disagree Lofty, most of Labours policy and ideas seem to start as a bad joke, and they miss the point and still manage to turn them into Policy. Perhaps a trip to the archives to look up russian policy in the 1950’s would assist them with their policies.

  • Saccharomyces

    Good stuff, this series should continue, excellent satire.

  • Next step nationalise the housing stock & the nation’s children.

    • northern

      Most children are already nationalised thru WFF and unionised education….grr!

      • unsol

        Very true. WFF & the welfare system in general is the bane of this country’s existence.

        Time to scrap the lot (except maybe a safety net for serious circumstances beyond ones control such as earthquakes etc….not pregnancy!!!), privatise all schools & claim the fees as tax deductible expenses.

        People need to learn that if they want something they should pay for it themselves.

    • Shhhh. They’re undecided whether to release that policy before or after they form a Government.

  • hazardsareonitsok

    Greens have started an idea called Kiwi-lotto

    Everyone in NZ gets a free ticket, except if you are a rich prick earning more then $50 a year

    • unitedtribes

      or have more than US$100,000 in a hidden bank account

  • Phar Lap

    Next stop private bank accounts.LIE-bour and the unelected green party will surely test the water on private bank accounts.Seems they have already crucizified a couple of power companies,with their threats.Attack bank accounts,if not why not.Commie Norman hates them,in fact he wants to compete with them by printing money.His party will wreck anything,power shares ,bank accounts ,National Party signs.Fonterra ,farmers etc,etc,not forgetting gouging pay packets for more tax.

  • 43% Tax in NZ.

    The state is always the problem, never the solution.

    lolz in any case, shit green low octane stazi fuel for all your tractors comrades.

  • island time

    Wait till they announce some changes to labour laws and minimum wages!!!!

  • Bob

    I need a new car but they are soooo expensive, can we have Kiwi-Cars too?

    • Dave

      Will those Kiwi cars come with “customary rights” to park anywhere, oh, and Lion Red and KFC holders in all seats?? Labour could be on to a real winner, especially if they are built in Northland to create more jobs, they could even sell them at the WINZ offices, proving they are pro commerce.

    • Mr Sackunkrak

      The were called Ford Cortinas, nailed together at Seaview, not uncommon for one side to be longer than the other. It’s all part of the Labour/Greens great leap backwards.

  • Anonymouse Coward

    A tip-o-the-hat to Labour and the Greens for their joint announcement on electricity. It has sucked all the political oxygen from the room leaving the other side gasping for air.

    And a question for the National tribal loyalists on this blog. Does your unwavering support for National quiver a little when you open your power bill and look at the number in the bottom right hand corner?

    • hazardsareonitsok

      Not really, I love being with PowerShop and not having power cuts

    • Tom

      No you fucking lunatic, I don’t.

    • unsol

      High power bill? No. We have a wet back & turn the power off at the wall when not using something. We also adopt crazy concepts such as not having kids we can’t afford (more showers = hot water = increase in power) & putting on an extra layer of clothing before cranking up the heat.

      Our power is about $130 per month in summer & $90 in winter.

      I am also more mindful of the fact that power has only increased very slightly over the last 6 years yet under labour, just like housing, dairy products, ACC levies etc it skyrocketed. Up by 70% in 9 years in times of massive surplus thanks to exorbitant taxes on rather stagnant wages.

      So one this absolute certain and that is left wing policies never amount to anything good.

      So to claim that this silly policy that has zero strategy & has already become yet another reason laugh & ridicule the left, has scared the right is just rubbish. It would have to be a valid threat and it is not.

    • Goldie

      At least under National I know that I’ll have the internet connection and light to see my powerbill – under Labour-Greens it’ll be brownouts, powercuts and electricity rationing.
      Use your brain Anonymouse Coward. If the price paid by the Government for electricity is lower than the rate of profitable return for electricity generation, then the lights go off.

    • AnonWgtn

      No, I am with Trustpower with an approx. $120 month bill, who are great and pay a dividend each year to all customers. Usually about $400 tax paid.

    • steve and monique

      No,,.I Shake at the idea of a state run country,like China Given that they also now want to control the news media/TV/Radio.

  • I think a more likely scenario is that they will add extra tax to petrol to pay for the losses in Govt income from their crazy power scheme. There will have to be hidden taxes or extra borrowing somewhere.

  • Colin Cloudesley

    And the Green Taliban and Labour will make us all wear Bukas so we all look the F$&^ing same.
    These pricks should be shoot for bullshitting the idiots out there who think this is for real.
    Norman what happen to the bikes?
    I want too be free free free I want to be free, stupied f%^%*&s

  • johnbronkhorst

    So….the greens want to bring down the price of petrol….encouraging everyone to drive cars. Is this before or after they build the CRL and encourage people to catch the train? Meaning they will spend $2.4billion on CRL and billions on other rail projects, just to undermine them with cheap petrol prices???? Contradiction much????

  • Mr_Blobby

    “the behest of greedy multi-nationals that charge whatever the market is willing to pay”,

    Wake up fucktard 50% of the price of petrol is TAX for the ever greedy Government. If you want to bring the price of petrol down take the TAX off it.

  • Colin Cloudesley

    Just heard that every household gets a power bike to get the free 300kw power, those over 65 years old get one of the 5000 people employed to peddle for them free one a week.

  • right. so they are starting their campaign Great. cant wait to have this shit rammed down my throat from now til the election.

    Labour greens government. they are going to promise the world and deliver nothing.

    Saddest part is that people will vote for it.

    • WayneO

      “Saddest part is that people will vote for it.”

      So very, very true. But are we surprised? Labour has purchased quite a few elections with ridiculous, debt growing bribes.

      • Travis Poulson

        Something along the lines of what Leighton Smith said recently, Kiwi’s are slow on the uptake, and by the time they wake up and realize what’s going on and react it’s usually too late. And he’s right too. Too bloody laid back for our own good, or just too many voting thicko’s amongst us. Take your pick.

  • steve and monique

    Kiwi Power,Kiwi petrol.And what next Kiwi milk.One question,how much is this going to cost the taxpayer.And at what level will these idiots consider someone as wealthy. $35,000-$40,000,or more.And what will that tax rate be.30%-40%-50%. God save NZ,because these idiots wont.

  • Russel Norman is clearly a true genius. You might think that forcing a reduction in power prices would increase demand, which would have to be provided from increased use of fossil fuels, thereby causing more global warming. But no! Price fixing will make it uneconomic for fossil fuel power stations to operate, and the resulting brown-outs and black-outs along with the resulting decrease in economic activity and increase in poverty will actually decrease overall power consumption. Pure brilliance!