LEAKED: National’s antidote to Labour’s Election Day “KFC” strategy

via newlaunches.com

via newlaunches.com

As we all know, Labour and the Unions mobilise South Auckland voters on election day with the additional enticement of a decent KFC feed.

This infallible method has seen impressive results, with the affected electorates privately dubbed “KFC Central” and  “KFC East”.

National has been powerless to anything about it.

Until now.

With new Japanese technology, National will now be able to strategically place these secret weapons around the electorate on Election Day, thereby causing the voters to be confused and wander around aimlessly looking “where dat KFC is at, eh!”

TV screens visually and aurally transmit their output, 3D in the past few years was considered to be the latest, not anymore. A bunch of scientists from Japan’s Tokyo University of Agriculture and Technology have managed to add the 4th D to screens (not in geometric sense of word), smell what you see on the screen or “Smell-o-vision” as it’s known. Imagine the effect when you can smell the chicken wings of a KFC advert screen, mouth-wateringly awesome!

Haruka Matsukura of the university along with his colleagues has invented the LCD that can emit smell. It works by continuously feeding odours from vaporising gel pellets into four air streams, one in each corner of the screen. These air streams are blown out parallel to the screen’s surface by fans at varying strength and direction. At the moment the screen can emit only one particular smell at a time.

One smell at a time?  No problem!

National has ordered 125 of these units to get them strategically in place well before they can be considered part of the Electioneering expenses.


Source:  Newlaunches

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story.  And when he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

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