Perhaps North Korea will surprise us? Because it is really hard to feel intimidated

via Imgur

via Imgur



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  • Harry B’Stard

    Potato cannons can be quite dangerous

    • Michael

      On the back of a massy ferg haha

  • WayneO

    2 months early for fieldays, lads. But you’re quite some distance from Mystery Creek.

  • Yea and before the Korean Army Photoshop Division got hold of that, there was only one tractor.

  • In Vino Veritas

    Tractors towing trailers with fence posts on them. Other than crap utilisation of the space on the trailer, what’s wrong with that?

  • manuka416

    Maybe they have MGs that pop out of the headlights, Bond style.

  • You think this is funny, I can see you all laughing about this, and saying how the hell would they damage something or someone with these tractors, so you think it is funny, well you should have seen the next picture after this, it was one person on a bike towing a Tank and that was made out of cardboard, just kidding.

  • Cracker1963

    Not funny if you are on the receiving end of these rockets! My Grandfather had that experience during WW2 when the prisoner of war camp he was in was ‘accidentally’ attacked by the Red Army Rockets (called Stalin Organs) which look very similar to these on the photograph. Cheap, but nasty. He said they sacred him shitless.
    Of course in a modern battle,I doubt they would last long before Western precision weaponry destroyed the launchers- still, they cannot take out every single launcher immediately & I wouldn’t want to be in a Sth Korean Town near the border that gets hit with

    • Air suport and counter battery fires makes those useful for about 10 minutes, then they are dead…the reload time is the killer if you’ll excuse my pun

      • Cracker1963

        Agree with you
        100%, I would guess two things will happen. Original crews who are fanatics get blown up by the precision weapons whilst reloading. The ‘reserve crews’ fire their launchers, then run for their lives, knowing that they have little time to live if they stay with their launchers.
        When artillery runs, morale in an Army evaporates.

      • Orange

        I think you posted an article about that. 1% per hour, night and day. So in 4 days the North would have effectively zero war machines or artillery.

  • Shoreboy57

    Not sure why we are laughing. After our own great commander (now in the UN) cut a swathe through our armed forces, they are looking a bit thin on equipment and people. Used Skyhawk anyone? Of course we’re not threatening war (even if the excited media thought JK was ready to do that)

    • Anonymouse Coward

      If NZ still had Skyhawks and deployed them in a new out break of hostilities it would be a Korean War era designed plane fighting the same war 60 years later.

      • Honcho

        Vietnam era aircraft, but with a 90’s avionics platform and even now would still a formidable ground attack aircraft not to mention our boys really could fly them. The face and pace of war has changed, and with stand off ranges the aircraft could be shot down the second they get off the ground by a modern air force … but the DPRK could hardly be described as that.
        Had this nation got F16 Falcons a decade ago they wouldn’t fair any better then the A4’s, but they were a cheap replacement and the airframes weren’t fatigued from decades of hard flying.

    • Dumrse

      The PM didn’t cut fuck all out of the Armed Forces. He told them to save $40M, THEY decided to get rid of people.

      • Pissedoffyouth

        Helen, not John.

        • Dumrse


      • Honcho

        Further clarification, Treasury directed that the future planned purchases of replacement defence hardware be self-funded. Money was trimmed predominantly from AFSS superannuation, already promised wage adjustments and service provided housing. Over and on top of that the threat of civilianisation (which was poorly directed) caused a great many to start looking at their career direction and options available to them ‘outside’ and succumb to the greater influence of a better paying job with better work/life balance outside of defence.
        This had the further side effect of saving even more money from the defence budget but left many units running at or below critical manning levels, civilianisation was halted quick smart as a number greater then the target for civilianisation had left never to return, and the positions advertised to civilian staff struggled to be filled, the decision was then made to make a wage adjustment and this was delivered moving into the 3rd quarter of 2012 but in many ways it missed the mark, providing eye watering pay increases for senior officers (who were not the personnel packing up and leaving en-mass) to the tune of $20k p.a. for colonel (eq.), but delivered a ‘negative increase’ for the bulk of the enlisted ranks, PVT (eq.) and LCPL (eq.) for instance, with a negligible increase for CPL (eq.) and a reasonable but still insufficient increase for SGT (eq.).
        This abomination of irresponsible direction of funds in terms of who was deserving of a wage adjustment (remembering wages had been frozen for 4 years) had the net effect of giving the already shocking levels of attrition a second wind.

        THEY did decide to get rid of people, true. But incompetence by senior defence leadership saw them get rid of the wrong people, in numbers they will struggle to recover from.

        • Anonymouse Coward

          Honccho dont worry about the gaps created in the civilianised part of the armed forces.

          They can outsource these jobs to contractors like Halliburton and L-3 Communications.

          What could possibly go wrong.

        • Dumrse

          So, did you leave ?

  • PlanetOrphan

    From Wikipedia , just to keep everyone honest ….

    “As of 2013, with 9,495,000 active, reserve, and paramilitary personnel, it is the largest military organization on earth”

    Surprise Us ?
    They are starving because of bullshit embargoes and are sporting the biggest Army in the world.

    9.5 million people with one bullet in their gun can kill 9.5 million people in one second.

    • Mark

      You don’t think the odd bullet might miss? Or do they all have superhuman accuracy?

      • PlanetOrphan

        Well yes they might miss, but my point is they deserve respect as a military orgasnisation. They are very advanced technologically and can do a lot of harm.

        They are also being up front about everything, and no country deserves to be impoverished because they are trying to develop themselves.

        No one is gonna drop an A bomb on them, simple fact.

        • Anonymouse Coward

          I don’t agree PlanetOrphan.

          I read an assessment that reckoned that DPK army, once the war kicked off in earnest, had one month to get to Pusan in the South to cut off a reinforcement in strength by UN Police Action Forces.

          This is on a mountainous peninsula with several choke points, which you can bet the ROK artillery already have loaded in their aiming tables.

          The other conclusion was that a movement in strength by the DPK army would require every last drop of fuel in North Korea. In other words if the first Shell gas station south of the ceasefire line is closed the DPK army ain’t going nowhere.

          This doesn’t mean that the DPK army wont bust a lot of heads and break a lot of furniture, but are ultimately doomed.

          • PlanetOrphan

            Hence the large missiles they have deployed.
            If everyone just ignores/writes them off ….

          • Anonymouse Coward

            The missiles primary purpose is as a bargaining chip to make sure people sit up and take notice when Young-un throws a temper tantrum.

            Fire them in anger and they become an albatross around Young-uns neck.

          • PlanetOrphan

            True enough, but how is a country supposed to oppose illegal embargoes ?

            China does support North Korea, and like I said the US would be very unlikely to do anything unless they are directly targeted.

          • Anonymouse Coward

            Do you mean those “illegal” UN Security Council imposed sanctions?

          • PlanetOrphan

            Yes of course, and starving people don’t give a shit about proprietry UN Laws.

          • Anonymouse Coward

            Let me rework that sentence for you PlanetOrphan;

            The North Korean leadership don’t give a shit about starving people.

          • PlanetOrphan

            That’s not what he is saying with guns and missiles?
            “The time has come …” were his words

        • Goldie

          “They are very advanced technologically and can do a lot of harm.”

          Yeah. Those tractors look real cutting edge military technology.

        • They have weapons, but they are poorly equipped and funded compared to any 1st world nation, which is where NK should be if they hadn’t been crippled by their dictatorship.

          The only thing people fear from NK are their short ranged nukes, if they ever work reliably, and China’s hand.

          You say they deserve our respect?

          I’ve seen documentaries on North Korea, and i can’t understand how you can respect a government that saps the wealth of its country, leaving it in tatters, keeps its citizens in ignorance and fear, fails to produce even the most basic of provisions: food, all to support its totalitarian regime.

          There is nothing to respect from an army that serves and supports such a government.

          There are some things to fear from the DPU, but nothing to respect.

          • PlanetOrphan

            Word games bud in my context Fear is respect.

          • Mr_Blobby

            MOTAT has lots of was machines.

          • PlanetOrphan

            Hardy Ha ha, fixed , thanks.

        • Mark

          Active Personnel only makes up about 12% of the KPA and I wonder how well trained AND equipped the reserves are. Sure, they would cause huge damage initially but it would be short lived.

        • Everyone said the Iraqi army deserved respect…then Norman Schwarzkopf ran them over inside 100 days

          • PlanetOrphan

            No denying their horsepower, but they’ve been deployed a long time, and aren’t looking for a fight.
            NK wont start one, so why not try and get some respect out of the International community.
            It’s only because the US dollar is a defacto monetry conversion, that they can threaten other countries, and we can see China and NZ positioning themselves for the back pressure against invalid sanctions on modern day civilisations which is really hurting the world economy, to the advantage of America and no one else.

    • 4077th

      1 manhattan, 2 manhattan, 3 manhattan..BOOOM! Problem solved!

      • Travis Poulson

        Perhaps they could trott out Enola Gay to do the job to even things up? A stealth bomber seems a bit unfair.

        • 4077th

          Col Tibbets will have enjoyed a second opportunity I am sure.

    • Orange

      That worked out great for Saddam didn’t it?

      • PlanetOrphan

        Sadam didn’t have an army let alone a 9.5 million strong one.

        • Orange

          Say what? Where did you hear that?

          • PlanetOrphan

            Don’t you watch the News m8, they walked into Iraq in one or two days.
            Insurgency is a differnet issue.

          • Orange

            You clearly don’t have a clue about what happened and are just making stuff up. Ah well, it’s just a blog comment section.

          • PlanetOrphan

            Whatever buddy, I was talking about North Korea afterall, not some crazy bastard that was electrocution turture training his “people”

        • Saddam once had the 4th largest army in the world, until Norman Schwarzkopf gave him a lesson in destruction…then he didn’t have an army. Those T-72s and T-80s Saddam had were feared until kinetic rounds started popping their turrets off and DU rounds opened them up like tin cans. Then they cut and run.


            By 1988, at the Iran–Iraq War’s end, the Iraqi Army was the world’s fourth largest army; it consisted of 955,000 standing soldiers and 650,000 paramilitary forces in the Popular Army. According to John Childs and André Corvisier, a low estimate shows the Iraqi Army capable of fielding 4,500 tanks, 484 combat aircraft and 232 combat helicopters.[44]According to Michael Knights, a high estimate shows the Iraqi Army capable of fielding one million men and 850,000 reservists, 5,500 tanks, 3,000 artillery pieces, 700 combat aircraft and helicopters; and held 53 divisions, 20 special-forces brigades, and several regional militias, and had a strong air defense.[45]

          • NotForTurning

            And look at the mess that was left afterwards. You cannot fix strategic problems with tactical solutions – you need strategic solutions.

            Specifically, broadsides from a couple of Ohio class boats. Counterforce and countervalue. End the North Korean problem then only way it can be ended.

      • Anonymouse Coward

        Sadam is a great example of the dangers here. Ruthless dictators are prone to making misjudgements because they act ruthlessly toward people who criticize them even if that criticism was well meaning and should be taken on board.

        No one in Sadams entourage was going to pipe up and say it was nuts to take on the Americans in a type of warfare they had been practising in the Mojave Desert for years.

    • Travis Poulson

      “9.5 million people with one bullet in their gun can kill 9.5 million people in one second.”

      You have an odd way of thinking. I think you should wipe your brow and sit back for a second and consider the logistics of what you suggested.

      • PlanetOrphan

        I have to agree with you,I’m just saying don’t underestimate them.
        They will surprise us if we do.

        • Travis Poulson

          I don’t anyone would underestimate him of all people, being as unpredictable and young and erratic as he is. His father was more predictable. Little Kimmy is a loose cannon.

          • PlanetOrphan

            I think he’s more onto it than you think, the sanctions are no longer valid in 2013 and he’s trying to do something about it.

          • Travis Poulson

            I don’t think he’s onto it at all. Just a mouthpiece for advisers that put ideas into his head.

          • PlanetOrphan

            That seems to be what PR agencies around the world want us to think I’ll grant you.
            But trying to “win favour and support” from his people ?
            Those cats love the man, he’s driving it every mm in my opinion.

          • Travis Poulson

            They don’t love him, they’re too fucking scared to be seen not loving him. Look what happened when Kim Jong Il died, millions of people fake crying. An officer was executed for not showing enough emotion.

          • PlanetOrphan

            Fair enough, but we used to say that about China.

    • Artillery and precision weapons not to mention round the clock air strikes that can’t be interdicted pretty fast turn 9.5 million starving soldiers into 9.5 million prisoners because at least they will get fed.

      • PlanetOrphan

        I doubt NK would initiate an attack, but what happens when they start importing Iranian oil in large quantities ?
        The US is gonna do backflips trying to shut them down, and the PR hype is likely to be more inflamatory.

      • Seems to me

        Seems to me you will find that first he assembled a force of 750,000 troops…..

        After diplomatic relations broke down, he planned and led Operation Desert Storm—an extended air campaign followed by a highly successful 100-hour ground offensive..against tanks and infantry.

        Cant see 750,000 troops lined up on the boarders of North Korea?

        Also with tractors as tow vehicles looks like a non standard conflict.(Guerilla warfare) suspect that invading North Korea will be like trying to invade Afghanistan North Vietnam…..not easy….

        The west backing them in to a corner with sanctions will only leave them to resort to “desperate measures”. Think suicide bombers. They dont see an alternative?

        Seems to me anyway

  • Anonymous4001

    Perhaps they picked up that rocket launcher system from John Deele or PGG Lightson?

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Commie Norman wants an enquiry as he think John Key as sole these to the North Koreans…..

  • Mr_Blobby

    Now did they tell them when they gave them the tractors, that if they used them on the farm to grow food then they would probably be able to feed there people, with out the need for emergency food aid.

    On a more serious note what is the resolve of the average north Korean soldier. We have all seen the spontaneous outpouring of love for the dear leader, but would they stand and fight.

  • cows4me

    Where can I get a trailer like that for my tractor? Guy Fawkes would be a whole new experience this year with one of those.

  • BR

    North Korea.

    Bread and circuses.

    Circuses mainly.


  • Chrish4

    The whole DPRK thing has got a deja vu “Battle of the Bulge” feeling about it – an almost done in regime, with just enough strength for one last desperate throw of the dice.

    Yes – they could do a lot of damage, over a small area, for a short time – but just like Hitlers SS and Tigers, once they run out of fuel and Allied air superiority starts picking them off one by one, its game over – and the difference between Now and the Battle of the Bulge – is that the ROK and USAF can take them out day and night, in any weather, 1% per hour…

    “So what you gotta ask yourself is – do you feel lucky punk, well, do ya”??

    • NotForTurning

      No – you gotta ask – what’s the flight time from the DMZ to Seoul for an artillery shell.

  • Anonymouse Coward

    SCENE: North Korean Sargent addressing platoon

    SARGENT:Now listen up, we have been tasked with capturing and holding this street corner. Luckily for us it has a decadent western food source called McDonald’s. I hear that they serve a potato with every meal.

    DUMB PRIVATE: A potato with every meal! You must be teasing us sarge?

    SARGENT No they also serve meat, fresh vegetables, buns, and a drink called a shake. This shake is made from mysterious fats and artificial sweeteners.

    GENERAL CLAMOR: Yay! Right on! BOOH-YAH!

    SARGENT: As you gorge yourselves on this filthy decadent capitalist stuff I want you to remember that none of it is as worthy as the tree bark, grass, and insects that the Kims have provided for us to eat.

  • Mr_V4

    Perfect parking though.