Science proves crazy bitch syndrome impossible to read

Who can read a woman? Anyone? Thought so. It has now been proven that it is actually impossible to do it anyway, let alone read the bunny boilers out there.

Men found it twice as hard to guess a woman’s mood than a man’s after being shown pictures of people’s eyes and estimating how they were feeling, researchers found.

However, the study showed that it is not because of men’s lack of trying – the male volunteers were given brain scans while they looked at the pictures, and the data suggested an unusual reason for the difficulty in reading women’s feelings. 

When looking at male eyes, men related what they saw to themselves, with the parts of their brains linked to past thoughts and feelings lighting up, the Daily Mail reported.

The study suggested that they understood what other men felt by remembering similar moments in their own lives, and then used them to evaluate the image, the researchers said.

But when they looked at female eyes, the men were baffled, as their brains searched for memories of when they had seen another woman who looked similar to the image, and meant men found it harder to empathise with women’s feelings.

No shit.  What next?  Men want sex?

What are they doing looking at their eyes anyway? …boobs…butt…legs…who even knew women had EYES?


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • unitedtribes

    My gal leaves nothing to chance conveying her feelings. She can get the measage across from hundreds of miles away. Such is modern communications

  • PlanetOrphan

    Men think about themselves and women bitch about it :-)
    Nothing new there, They say your eyes are a window to your soul, that’s why we don’t look into their eyes, not only is it rude, we might let them see our eyes and our wonton desire to see their boobs M8!

    • unsol


    • Travis Poulson

      “wonton desire to see their boobs M8!”

      A rather strange mixture of Chinese cuisine and breasts.

      • PlanetOrphan

        whoops should read wanton , but I like the imagery
        Mind If i use a fork Babe?

      • 4077th

        Both are tasty little dumplings!

      • Bunswalla

        Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it Trav. You should see where I put the sushi…

      • Wait until he shows you his chopstick!

  • I know instantly something is wrong.

    WHY something is wrong is another matter altogether.

    • unsol

      I’m guessing you have been married for years. So question for you – do you ask her to be straight up with you when something is wrong so that there is no guessing? :-)

      • I have it down to a fine art.

        Me: Something wrong?
        Her; No!
        Me: Is it me?
        Her: no

        (Me: mental YAY)


        Me: Something wrong?
        Her; No!
        Me: Is it me?
        Her; No!

        Then there follows a conversation where I pull out what the problem is in about 5-10 minutes. This is much more efficient than the 1-2 hours it took during the early years.

        Why she can’t figure the way she says “no” is the indicator, I have no idea, but it’s as reliable as hell.

        • Bunswalla

          Married for 25 years in August. Ours goes something like:

          Me: How are you?
          Her: Fine
          Me: I just remembered I have to be somewhere else, gottagoloveyoubye!

          • Yeah, but if it’s you in the shitter, it’ll just come back to bite you later.

        • unsol

          You two (you & Buns) made me laugh – I have heard & seen this so many times myself. I personally don’t understand how anyone can happily put up with such conversations – it doesn’t have to be this way!

          On a side note a book I read recently by American comedian Steve Harvey, was called Think like a man & act like a lady. A lot of it was absolute tripe, but there was a few interesting points in there. Primarily around the same conversation you seem to have & this impacts on men & their 3 P’s: profess (love) provide (money – what they earn & do determines who they are) & protect (if their woman has a problem they want to fix it).

          He pretty much said that when it comes to such conversations men need to not only know that they are in the clear (so they can do the mental yaye like you stated above), but also see if they can fix it. And that if they can’t fix it or can’t get to the bottom of it then they are not able to do their job properly (protect)…or something along those lines!

          To me it seemed a little insulting as it implied men have fragile egos that need massaged constantly, but I did think it shed some light on the different psyches between men & women. And it also highlighted that keeping your husband happy is relatively simple once you understand their need to apply the 3 p’s (which btw must be apparently be accompanied by support, loyalty & the ‘cookie’).

          Sorry…..too many words…too much noise. In sum I sympathise! :-)

          • Mr_Blobby

            There you go over complicating things again.

          • unsol

            Aah blobby I see you have taken time out from your new day job (car planking) to join us.

            Not overcomplicating things at all. It sums up the dilemma men face quite well. But I realise anything more than 1 line gets a little too much for many to comprehend. Especially if it doesn’t contain key words like money, women, sex, porn & beer.

            If you like I could always retract it & say that it isn’t women’s fault that men’s minds are just empty cavernous spaces when they are not consumed with sport, sex & work & if they want a woman to hang around for longer than a casual shag they need to man up & demonstrate an intellect that is beyond the developmental age of a toddler

            So up to you really! ;)

          • Mr_Blobby

            Got some good ones and a Whale plank to.

            Yes, you have done it again, over thinking the problem.

            Going to keep my midlife crisis going for as long as I physically can.

        • LabTested

          I suggest you try this.

          You: Something wrong?
          Her; No!

          You: Good, get me a beer, Rugby is about to start

  • Saccharomyces

    “What are they doing looking at their eyes anyway? …boobs…butt…legs…who even knew women had EYES?” – quote of the day there.

    • unsol


  • unsol

    “it is not because of men’s lack of trying – the male volunteers were given brain scans while they looked at the pictures”

    Hehe had to laugh at that – trying so hard but still falling short. :)

    Silly research – men & women are completely incompatible in so many ways, with communication being the biggest difference of all.

    Men need to learn to really listen to what their women are saying (so eyes away from the TV & actually look at your partner) & women need to stop expecting their men to be telepathic, to pick up on ‘feelings’ or read between the lines (e.g “nothing’s wrong” = there is DEFINITELY something wrong).

    What really annoys me is that women love to lord their so-called superior communication skills over their men yet look at women’s friendships & the backstabbing, wailing, handwringing, breaking up & getting back together crap that goes on there? Men keep it simple – if their mate/s piss them off they give them one more chance. If they do it again – it’s goodbye for good. No drama. Clean break. Easy. Oh and they always say what they mean.

    Which means for you females out there, if you don’t like answers to such questions as “do I look fat in this” then don’t ask the bloody question (esp since chances are if you need to it is because you do look fat!).

    Oh and quit with the silent treatment & using sex as a weapon too.

    • Mark

      Unsol, I’m going to print out your comment and give it to my wife. If I am still alive tomorrow I may let you know how it goes.

      • unsol

        Haha funny stuff. If she loves you she will take it on board :)

    • Travis Poulson

      “Men need to learn to really listen to what their women are saying”

      No men don’t need to, you women just want us to. There are reasons why men don’t listen :)

      • unsol

        Yes there are, but question is, do these reasons get you what you want? If you want a wife & not just a shag then you will learn to listen. :)

        And if women want a husband & not just their sperm (kids) then they will learn to speak their mind.

        I deliberately make sure I am far too noisy on here at times as I know much of what I say will be ignored by what is clearly a boys club, or will simply goes over their head. It’s all part of the fun. You simply can’t reason with bullshit. So I express my view to just give some balance for all those readers who don’t comment.

        But with my husband I speak his language. I pick my moments & keep it short,& concise with no waffle. So he listens, I put out & all is good :)

      • Same reason why men die before their wives

    • LabTested

      They also don’t like honest answers to such questions as “What are you thinking about?” Answer is normally ‘Nothing’, which they can not accept

      • unsol

        So true. Btw – the they includes me. :) The empty vacuum where thought processes should be is one of the things I love most about my husband. I like the fact that men are simple creatures. As a general rule you don’t over think stuff or worry about things you can’t control.

        • Saccharomyces

          Yep, it’s a pretty sweet life as a man. My wife gets worked up about stuff all the time, and I’m just like “what can you do about it”, the answer – “Nothing”, me – “so what have you got to worry about???”

          • unsol

            And no doubt that is followed by “you just don’t understand” or something similar!

          • Saccharomyces

            To be fair, she’s not too bad, she knows she’s mental, and luckily doesn’t expect me to understand!

          • Mr_Blobby

            Imagine the mess the world would be in if they over reacted, with our superior size, strength and intellect.

          • unsol

            Superior size – what, from eating too many steak & cheese pies?

            Strength – lifting a can of beer?

            Superior intellect…haven’t seen any evidence of that!

          • Mr_Blobby

            I like meat pies.

  • Jman

    This myth that woman are so hard to understand and therefore it’s better not to even try, suits those of us who know better if all the other guys out there who are our competition are thinking that way.

    Most of the time woman are actually no more difficult to understand than most men. In fact, with practice they can be a lot easier to understand. However they can be unpredictable creatures at times when they get affected by their hormones.

  • Justsayn

    Can just hear the testing responses as they flick though the photos:

    Woman: sad, happy, sad, angry, confused, happy, sad…
    Man: horny, angry, horny, horny, angry, horny…

  • cows4me

    Do I look good in this or does this go with this? Fucking scary questions. Can’t tell by look in eyes. Yes is wrong answer most the time.

    • hazardsareonitsok

      Cows are hard creatures to read, that’s for sure. just tell her she has a nice yellow earring :)

      • cows4me

        Very good :-)