A Silly First Name Compendium


Johnson’s Baby is running a Facebook post in order for people to share the “unique” name of their children. Which is the PC way of say Silly First Name Syndrome.

There is much hilarity to be had reading some of the names.

Here are some of them:  

Deegan, Stara, Manigha, Kiylah-Jayde, KiiZaya, Kalijah, Shyla, Rynae, Izy, Kelani, Koopah, Braxdyn, Kyan (boy), Cadence (girl), Kentin, Jdacea-Rei, Khelace Mystere, Lakyn, Iziyah, Akilah, Armani-June, Akilah-Storm…and on and on and on.

I’ll bet dollars to a knob of goat-poo that these kids are also likely to be recipients of the new food in schools programme.

Some of these kids are going to show up on the news too in short order, and not for good reason. It is really well known that Silly First Name Syndrome is dangerous.


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  • StacyMcNaught

    Jazcinta…is it on the list?

  • Pissedoffyouth

    I know a Shyla, I thought it was pretty common. And a Cadence.

    • In Vino Veritas

      Very common. Parents are probably common as well…..

  • spollyike

    Metiria? Hone?…

  • tarkwin

    You forgot Tarquin.

    • Bunswalla

      It’s not ALL about you, Tark, and why no Bunswalla?

    • Agent BallSack

      My Uncle named his kids Tarquin, Taliesan, Inverness. Oh and another one. I can never remember which one is which.

  • Michael

    Our kids have “normal” names, but we’ve given names starting with A, B, and C. We’ll be stuck on child 27…

    • Agent BallSack

      Aaron :)

      • Abigail
        now I’m stuck.

        • Bunswalla


          • Thanks. Adele…..

  • Google the names that you find unusual. Some are culturally significant.

    Iziyah and Akilah are found amongst Arabic speakers, and Muslims in general, and although Iziyah is usually spelt Izaya, that variant is common in South Africa.
    Akilah-Storm is an odd combination though: Intelligent Storm?

    I’m not disputing the influence of names though. Wikipedia reports that Shyla Stylez is the nom de porn of Amanda Friedland, a Canadian. Being named after a pornstar is pretty much a whole life mapped out, I fear.

  • I am related to someone who had kids after emigrating to Australia. The boy’s middle name is Bruce, the girl’s Sheila.

  • Justsayn

    Sometimes is it the combination of names that creates the silliness.

    There was (and may still be) an accountancy firm central Auckland by the name of Cox Arcus.

    • Justsayn

      Just checked on the Companies office website to see if there was a trace to the firm (Google couldn’t find a website for them just some older looking directory listings), and struck gold…

      There was once a company called Cox Arcus Holdings Limited – but it was struck off. Must have been trading mouth to hand.

    • blokeintakapuna

      sounds like this Nigerian investment fund that contacted me a few weeks backs – rather randomly I must say, but they have a few million for my troubles – anyway they sounded legit – even if their name was kinda funny…

      “Fleesome, Botchit, Leggit and Scarpa”

      • Bunswalla

        I think they’re in partnership with the redoubtable firm of English solicitors, Sue, Grabbit and Runne.

      • Dumrse

        And the Retirement Advisors, Dolittle & Fishmore.

    • tarkwin

      There was another one called Slight Lala. True.

  • Justsayn


    Once voted for Phillida Bunkle as my electorate MP solely for the comical value of her name. Paid off on my way home from work one day when I heard a radio news item that stated “Today in Parliament Phillida Bunkle said…”

  • richard.b

    Why so many Y’s?
    You can’t use names on the scrabble board.

  • Ratchet

    I heard of a family recently who all have first names starting with J, including the daughter Jemily. Except it’s pronounced “Emily” – the J is silent. Can’t break a family tradition can you?

    • Bunswalla

      I thought the only morons who did that were called Kardashian

      • richard.b

        Jkhris, Jkim, Jklohe, Jkortney, Jkylie, Jkendall ??
        Oh shit! Did I just know their names?
        We need some better reading material in the work lunch room.

  • Auto_Immune

    Does anybody else think of Super Mario Bros. when they read the name “Koopah”?

    • IWantToBeLikeMallardOneDay

      I think of a terrible sitcom from the late nineties starring LL Cool J

  • IWantToBeLikeMallardOneDay

    These are the progeny of non-school fee payers who will pout on the front page of a national newspaper when they can’t have something for nothing.

  • IWantToBeLikeMallardOneDay

    Aaron is a bogan name.

  • Colin Price

    One thing these spaced-out muppet parents dont realise is the abuse their poor sprogs will get from the kids at school… you know, the 10-13 year sentance inflicted on our youth…. A woman whose name shall remain Maria Dick (and yes, she did) wanted to call her poor girl Eden… Thankfully, her brain-fart was arrested in time and the sprog was called Jenny, instead!

  • Bad__Cat

    Horrid’s SFNS today was Kellim

  • Harvey Wilson

    Just be thankful your parent isn’t Michael Palin or you might have a name like Jethro Q Bonwackit Bossit Stubon Walrus Titty.