Caption contest

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  • Donovan Jackson

    What’s UTU, Mr PM?

  • LabTested

    I can’t answer that question until Clint gets back from his holidays

  • thehawkreturns

    “Gentlemen, you will note that my young lady assistant is demonstrating that it sn’t just about the size of one’s assets. Position and use of those assets are the issues at… er.. hand”

  • BJ

    Any random person with an Iphone can be a real journalist these days

    • Dave

      Sadly, thats very true, one only has to read a primary school newsletter in comparison with NZ’s horrid media. Sadly the school newsletter has less errors!

  • Travis Poulson

    “Yes, I accepted this ph that my assistant is holding up as a bribe from Sky City.”

  • cows4me

    Jeez hurry up John I’m running late for my colon cleanse.

  • Travis Poulson

    “Do I look like I give a shit about the Greens threats?”

    • wikiriwhi

      Not bad actually

  • wikiriwhi

    Translation: Sack my hedge fund manager. Bitcoin ! Topless days at Majorca beach

  • Travis Poulson

    ” I couldn’t possibly comment, I didn’t even know he was in our party until he resigned.”

  • Chad Chambers

    “I said pre-arranged questions only, please.”

  • The P.M. reflected ruefully that when it came to covert operations, the GCSB just weren’t trying anymore.

    • LabTested

      I up voted & just had to give you a Gold Star as well

    • Mark

      Nice

      • Thank you both.

        • Justsayn

          I was going to vote you up cos it was very funny, but then I read LabTested’s comment and felt inadequate cos I don’t have any gold stars to give you – so instead I sat at my desk and tried the aloof face like the very cute lady behind the John. You know it is for you Mark.

  • RightNow

    I’ve got pictures John, pictures of you “Planking” as you called it. You had wood, that’s for sure. See…

  • Agent BallSack

    Yes this is my orgasm face

    • 4077th

      His or hers?

  • Mortgage_Man

    Photo Bomb!

  • High_Tory

    PM ponders why the sky has a news service

  • rouppe

    A little higher, Prime Minister, a little higher….

  • johnbronkhorst

    Mystery death of reporter solved!
    Coroner concludes from this picture, cause of death was …..boredom.

  • unsol

    JK: What a bunch of knuckleheads….all I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance….

    The girl: shit did I really screw (insert name) last night? Should I call him? Oh crap I’m going to be late for my manicure

    • spollyike

      That summarises modern feminism nicely unsol.

  • “Hey John, look at this text I just got from Aaron.”

  • disqus_wMsITO4Q42

    Thank f##k I’m being paid for this.

  • Justsayn

    So Banksie, now that we are alone what is it with the decaying idiots that voted for Winnie le Shit?

  • 4077th

    JK’s best impression of Tony Abbott. Girl just trying to get a decent slfie.

  • Rangi

    ahhh John, this is the bank account# or your wife gets this picture of you, me and the jar of peanut butter!!

    • LabTested

      Dude. You are having a go at some ones wife? I suggest you think very seriously about your values

      • Justsayn

        “What, she’s married! But the peanut butter! Look I, we, I don’t recall ever seeing a ring, I, we, she, I, I mean, I was never told that, that I recall, you know.”

        • LabTested

          Sure Trolling is fun, but pop over to another post & stop being so anti marriage

          • Justsayn

            All marriages can be improved by a good dollop of peanut butter and a crushed tim tam.

          • LabTested

            Actually I prefer using Love & Respect.

            I feel sorry for you

          • Justsayn

            I presume that Love & Respect is some form band name – lubricant maybe? Perhaps a gun, like Smith & Weston? A robotic bedtime plaything like Black & Decker? I reality check like Lighten The Hell Up & Get Over Yourself?

          • OT Richter

            You should get that lab of yours to give you a sense of homour transplant.

          • Justsayn

            I get it now… you are from Gore! Up to you bro but we don’t condone that sort of thing up here.

          • LabTested

            you actually posted a picture of a fist with the word respect on it. In what world is that even the slightest bit funny.

            I suggest you get help now

          • Justsayn

            Well, no I didn’t. I know it may be hard to understand, you appear to be American, so I’ll try to explain it for you.

            When you watch TV, say Coro. The baddy in Coro might not be a baddy at all. He is an actor. In real life he might be a goody. Then again, he might be a rapist. But, leaving that aside, what you see on TV is not “real”.

            Sometimes TV can be a bit confusing. The news for instance, often (but not always) contains facts and real people. Masterchef – real people, but judges who do some acting, but they are real people too. But as a basic rule of thumb, it is make believe.

            Now this is where it will get extra hard to understand so hold onto your toupee. Some people (not you clearly) use hyperbole to try and be funny. Don’t let it bother you if you don’t understand that.

            Returning to the “fist”. It is not real. Don’t panic. There are hints about that in the picture, and I’ll let you ponder that unaided. It was a reference to your “Respect”. Sadly, despite the wonders of goggle, I couldn’t find a matching fist with “Love” on it.

            As for the peanut butter, use smooth not crunchy – you’ll only make that mistake once.

  • Andy

    I am an important journalist. Do you know who I am?

  • spollyike

    “It saddens me that Claudette Hautititi no longer wants to be a part of the National Party but has chosen to Waka-hop to white-mother-fucker-haters MANA. However on reflection i should have been suspicious when i heard several of her comments to the socialist media such as: “I’m not made up of one particular thing, I’m made up of many things….my iwitanga…I’m also an urban Maori, and a raving pussy munching lesbian that somehow had a baby”, also i suppose we should have reconsidered her eligibility when we found out she was a member of the anti-National groups Grassrooters Labour and the Socialist Pudendum Union. Bugger really eh, however our new list MP represents Nationals vision for the future, a trans-sexual, gay-lesbian, mother-father, sickness-dpb beneficiary, in a polymorphous relationship with two cows, a horse, a goat and 5 cats who i’m sure will represent the people of Aotearoa NZ’s best interests”

    • Andy

      I can deal with everything except the 5 cats. Those women scare me most

  • ts_3000

    You know nothing Jon Snow (cough) Key!

  • kohibruce

    I said I will stand behind John, but its not my favorite position.

  • LionKing

    Yeah na, she’s the new press sec and is much keener than that Kevin Taylor ever was. Didn’t you know white i-phones are so 2013?

    • She’s hardly the new presssec.

      • Justsayn

        Is that a dig at her age Pete! Not nice!

        • I know better than to enrage women intentionally. So if I do so unintentionally, that’s just par for the course *blush*

        • Tony

          Jane’s been around for a few years so hardly new in that context.

    • Justsayn

      Its a white cover on a black iphone (and not even a 5)… so wannabe 2011!

  • Bunswalla

    “Seems legit”

  • He just finish talking about Shearer and under his breath he said
    “Prick”

  • Rusty B

    Sad chick from MKR finds new job.

    • Travis Poulson

      Heh, the only time that girl doesn’t look sad is when she’s crying.

  • Justsayn

    Much like slightly overweight chicks hang out with the grossly obese so as to look thinner, Key finds a way to look interested in the journos questions.

  • Steve (North Shore)

    “Jeeze I wish he would just get this comment over and done with, look at the fucking time, I’m gonna miss out on that free lunch – fark”

  • Ronnie Chow

    Key frozen for 30 seconds by new smart phone app.

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