Power is no longer the aphrodisiac it once was. Popularity is

I’m not sure of the premise of this article about power vs popularity being an aphrodisiac. But it is interesting nonetheless. I might even have a go at writing a New Zealand version…the only issue would be choosing the politicians to include. 😉

Power is an aphrodisiac. People say that all the time, don?t they, to explain why some hot young piece of lady flesh is stepping out with a luke-warm old slab of man flab who also happens to be the chief executive of a mid-sized multinational company, or something exciting in the treasury.

People often use the power/aphrodisiac conundrum to explain the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky affair, but I think this is wrong. Yes Bill Clinton was the most powerful man in the world, but he was (is) also said to be charismatic, charming and in my humble opinion, not too shabby to look at. He Has Something About Him, and this is down to his innate charm ? the sort of charm you find in most womanizers, whether they?re a brickie or a barrister.

A much better example of power being an aphrodisiac is the sorry tale of Edwina Currie and John Major. Whatever you think of his politics, John Major is universally acknowledged to have all the sexual charisma of a whelk. A whelk with a cold sore and a large collection of cagoules. Yet, somehow, he managed to bed Edwina Currie, who, although not everyone?s cup of tea, is definitely a rung above our former Prime Minister on the ladder of sexual allure.*

Despite this affair taking place several years before the Maastricht Treaty, I like to think John Major shouted ?you b******s? at the point of orgasm. ?

Perhaps John Major’s school nickname was Horse or Donkey.

The author of the article picks over the results of a survey from by a dating site which rates various politicians. Which then tells us just how sick poms are.

English: United Kingdom's Deputy Prime Minster...

Nick Clegg.?

According to a survey by ashleymadison.com (apparently ?the world?s leading dating site for married folk? ), trying to ascertain which of our political elite are the most attractive, discovered that 39.1 per cent of unfaithful women (ie women who are already surfing this website looking for a bit of extracurricular) would have an extra-marital affair with Nick Clegg. I?ll translate: they?d pick him out of all our main party leaders, if forced, under duress to shag one of them next time their husband?s on a business trip to Pontefract.

This in itself is unremarkable, because Nick Clegg is a reasonably attractive man with a very attractive wife (don?t you try to tell me that doesn?t make a difference, because it does), who has already admitted to bedding up to, but no more than 30 women, so at least he?d know where to put it. He?s also the Deputy Prime Minister.

But number two on the list is Nigel Farage.

English: Nigel Farage at Lord's cricket ground...

Nigel Farage

But then things start to get a bit strange. Next on the list is Nigel Farage. Yes, that?s right, I said Nigel Farage. An impressive 25.6 per cent of the aforementioned shag-happy ladies would have an extra-marital affair with the Ukip leader and professional geezer Farage.

What? Not only is Nigel Farage not an attractive man ? he looks like what Joker would look like if he abandoned a life of crime in Gotham City and became a middle manager in Slough ? he doesn?t actually have any power. Yes, he?s an MEP, but that?s the least sexy politician you can possibly be. And he hates Europe, which means his entire political career is based around trying to get himself sacked. Plus, his suits are crap.

But, BUT, he?s had a good couple of months hasn?t he? The press loves him, the voters love him, and he?s on the up ? a political phenomenon, with a (lunchtime) pint in one had and a cigar in the other. I can only presume this makes him more attractive to all those philandering women on ashleymadison.com. Nigel Farage?s successful pheromones should be bottled by Lynx and given to teenage boys everywhere. Actually, no, they shouldn?t, that would be terrible.

Who both rate higher than David Cameron:

English: David Cameron's picture on the 10 Dow...

David Cameron

David Cameron on the other hand, despite wielding more power than the lot, as the actual Prime Minister of Great Britain, got only 13.5 per cent of the vote. Yes, he sometimes looks like a panicked lobster, but he?s not that bad is he? He?s certainly no John Major. Plus, he managed to pull Sam Cam, and she?s alright. She?s even got a Bad Idea gap year tattoo on her foot ? she?s One Of Us.

However, unlike Farage he?s had a bad few weeks, what with the gay marriage debate, the furore over the EU referendum and the small matter of his own MPs calling for a ?no confidence? vote in parliament. Basically, David?s being emasculated right, left and centre, and that?s just not sexy.

Things are getting dire now, she starts talking about Ed Miliband.

Ed Milliband MP speaking at the Labour Party c...

Ed Milliband

Even Labour leader Ed Miliband, who has the mannerisms of an android that?s just been taught the concept of human emotion (?what?s this ?love? you talk of?? I can imagine he sometimes asks Harriet Harman, wide-eyed, before heading off to PMQs), gets 21.5 per cent of the vote.

Noel Biderman, Ashley Maddison?s founder explains that Miliband is probably seen as a ?safe pair of hands,? although he admits he was surprised at how many women said they?d bed him: ?He?s too earnest to have much in the way of sex appeal, in my opinion?

So what is it then? Power or Popularity….or perhaps a wee bit of both.

So clearly the relationship between power and sex is a complicated one. Actual power doesn?t seem to be as much as an aphrodisiac as perceived power (ie what the media, or in the real world, your mates, are saying about someone).

But we knew that already, didn?t we? That?s why men your friends think are hot, or indeed men with attractive wives/partners/girlfriends are instantly that bit more interesting. They?ve already been given the seal of approval by someone else.

So, to stop thousands of married women attempting to jump Nigel Farage next time he visits Spalding, I?ve devised the following equation to be used as a check: Popularity in press x attractiveness of wife x quality of suit , divided by actual power wielded.

Obviously a pinko if she is so ill-disposed to a free thinking person such as Nigel Farage…or is she just less sick than the rest of Britain.

Power or Popularity?

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Don’t forget to give Kiwi options in the comments. Be fair too, after all how will Sue Moroney or Lindsay Tisch feel to come last equal….meh…I nerly forgot about Darien Fenton. Rate your top 10 in order…then we will conduct our own poll.