Face of the day

“I am sorry to announce that Nigella Lawson and I are getting divorced, this is heartbreaking for both of us as our love was very deep, but in the last year we have become estranged and drifted apart. “I feel that I have clearly been a disappointment to Nigella during the last year or so, and I am disappointed that she was advised to make no public comment to explain that I abhor violence of any kind against women, and have never abused her physically in any way.” – Charles Saatchi

Nigella is rejected by one of her arse holes. Oh dear, what a shame, back on the market.



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  • blokeintakapuna

    Come here Nigella, we will look after you….

  • williamabong

    Great stuff a good looking sheila with tons of money and she can cook, wonder if she can cut up bait and put it on a hook.

    • MarcWills

      So she’s good looking, can cook, has lots of money – who would have thought she had a listening problem? :)

    • cows4me

      But can she milk cows?

    • Pokerface

      I can bait your hook……..

  • opusx

    Now we just need some bloke to publicly smash Charles head in, be photographed doing it, then go on record to say he did because he has a deep love and respect for him, and that it was just a ‘bit of fun’ between mates.

  • Bunswalla

    “I abhor violence of any kind against women, and have never abused her physically in any way.”

    Um, apart from all the times I grabbed her round the throat with that photographer clicking away out of sight.

  • GarethsPussy

    She can come around and display her fabulous plump sweet treats anytime she likes….

    • Micky

      Quite right GP, there is something fabulously sexy about Nigella.

  • Travis

    Hmmmm if I was 20 again I’m afraid I would have Chronophilia feelings towards Nigella. Now I’m over 50, I don’t see a problem.

  • IWantToBeLikeMallardOneDay

    Bit long in the tooth now, don’t you think guys?

    • Travis Poulson


      • IWantToBeLikeMallardOneDay

        I would say she’s loose, but a “man” like Saatchi couldn’t stretch her one iota, so point taken. Problem is she’s my mother’s age and I don’t have any oedipal issues to invigorate me during our prospectively more recherché moments… :-p