Whadda ya got to hide Beven?

I see the boss of the prison guards union is having a sook about drug tests.

The Department of Corrections is facing a backlash after introducing random drug and alcohol testing for prison guards.

The new testing regime took effect on July 1 and means any officers involved in accidents or fights – or who are suspected of being under the influence – will have to undergo on-the-spot testing.

The Corrections Association union estimates 2000 guards will be tested each year, at a cost of more than $1 million.

President Beven Hanlon said it was ludicrous for guards to be tested when drugs were rife among the prisoners, who can be tested only if they volunteer.

He said there were far more urgent risks to prison guards’ safety and the money would be better spent on stab-proof vests.  

“We’ve got a horrendous rate of getting attacked at work. Why don’t we look at that side of safety instead of this bollocks around drug testing?” Hanlon said.

WTF? It is the guards job to stop the prisoners getting drugs…perhaps if they weren’t on drugs themselves they might do a better job.

What a bunch of  bleating whingers. The best part is their kindergarten sandpit argument that ‘if prisoners don’t have to do a drug test why should prison officers’

How about because you are at work you pack of snivelling twats.

More Union based crying over trim milk versus of full fat.


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • johnbronkhorst

    Only a publicly run prison system problem then? Time to PRVATISE the lot of them. Mandatory drug testing for ALL…every Monday!

    • Gayguy

      Rather stupid to have drug tests on one set day. Best to have them as a surprise at any point of the week.

      Yes I know, the weekend and all, booze and drugs. But by having it on a Monday all those people who do not work a Monday to Friday week can be assured that they will not be caught.

      Oh and privatising the whole prison system = very stupid.

      • The state system isn’t working so well, best to privatize it. No problems like these from the one private prison.

  • LabTested

    Prison guards need stab proof vest because of all the drugged up prisoners? Seriously what is going on in prisons. Sounds like someone is not doing their job

  • Mr_Blobby

    He has a point “drugs were rife among the prisoners, who can be tested only if they volunteer.” That is absolute bullshit, drug testing should be compulsory, I would go so far as to say release is subject to a clean test.

    The other point I would like to make is the cost of drug testing 1 million divided by 2000 is $500 these test kits cost a matter of a few dollars. You get some Muppet buys a test kit for $10 or $12, next minute its $200 for the test itself.

  • John.Doe.2013

    Pleased you saw this one! I will get to the unions shortly, but it was news to me that prisoners can’t be drug tested at will? Especially according to the union, drugs are rife on the inside ? (Maybe source of income for prison guards?)….surely a drug free prison would improve the health and safety for the prison guards ? Why isn’t that a priority for the union……? Typical union thinking, more stab proof vests ie ambulance at bottom of cliff or reason for unions to demonstrate value to members and a reason for guards to join the union ie “mr guard, your employer is not looking after you, tithe me part of your salary, and I will make it better”. I switched on Jones channel on sky, and there was an episode of the 80s show the Incredible Hulk – the baddies in that episode were union members rigging an election and bullying a widow…….could have been shot in Auckland and the ports…..how prescient that show was !

  • Dave

    The drug problem cure.

    1) here is a plastic crate. all your possesions go in here, we will shift you every few days, ensure you keep everything in there, you only have 3 minutes to get ready to move.
    2) Visitors are all screened, tougher than getting in and out of the country.
    3) Any visitors with a criminal conviction in the last 3 years are BARRED from visiting no matter any other circumstances.
    4) Any visitors with a conviction for drugs in the last 5 years will be barred from visiting.
    5) There is NO contact between prisoners at all, none, zero. talk through the screen
    6) Prisoners are only allowed 3 personal possessions, nothing else. Visitors are welcome to leave cash for the “guests” to purchase things from the prison shop.
    7) if you are caught with drugs or a phone, its 5 years additional without exception – no mamby pamby trial, just a plain simple 5 years!!

    Enough for the meantime, simple and novel solution, they are in prison cause they broke the law, they dont have the right to privileges, end of story.

  • Clever Harry

    It’s a freaking prison!
    Everyone going into a prison including those not coming out – should be subject to full drug tests including the gloved hand if needed.
    If our border security can give the glove to visitors they think are suspicious (and some that have that experience are genuinely innocent) then criminals, their dumb fuck families and prison guards can too.
    If cry baby prison guards can’t handle it then try can go be rent a cop at a local mall.

  • GazzW

    Does Beven Hanlon speak for Serco staff as well or just Corrections? If not then we need to progress privatisation with urgency.

  • Damien X

    There is an obvious reason why drugs are so prevellant in prisons – the prison guards either supply it or they turn a blind eye to it being supplied by visitors.
    Hardly a surprise really. Watch a dozen prison movies or two and one learns that the importation of ‘contraband’ – which includes anything from ciggies to tools – is normal practice for prison staff and adds to income by way of profiteering.
    Obviously movies are movies but lets be real – script writers get their ideas from research so its probably close enough to truth to count for my point.
    Drugs are illegal. So, its fair that the Corrections dept stamps it out and if that means stamping on the supply chain – so be it.
    Prison staff who whinge should be sacked.

    • Richard McGrath

      I don’t think it’s any sort of secret that prison staff have been infiltrated by the gangs. Hence the ongoing supply of drugs via staff as well as visitors. Part of the answer is in restricting direct contact between staff and prisoners. No direct physical contact between prisoners and visitors, and minimal if any between prisoners and guards. Weld each prisoner into a shipping container where they can stay until released. That way we can stack them ten high, thus saving space.