So accurate I nearly fell for it

The best satire is that which is so close tot he truth.

This effort from Ben Uffindel was so close to the truth it nearly got me…eerily close to the truth actually.

Friends, colleagues, and fellow New Zealanders; I am concerned.

When my former leader, David Shearer, announced last week that he would be resigning from his position as the chief representative of our party, I knew that I had a decision to make.

The media was asking me what my intentions were. People were urging me to step forward and put my hand up.

They said to me “David, you’re perfect for this. You can do this. You can rebuild the party. You’re the only one who can.” And then I stepped away from the bathroom mirror, and I said “Yeah, you know what? I have to do this.”  

That is why I stand before you today, to ask for your endorsement to be the leader of the New Zealand Labour Party.

I have to do this not because I’ve been asked to, but because, over the last five years, I have become deeply and genuinely concerned about me.

In 2008, under a Labour government, I was a minister earning upwards of $240,000 a year. Today, under John Key’s National Government, I earn $141,000 a year.

How did that happen? When did we start accepting less?

The last line is especially good.

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.