Cunliffe’s great lurch left & other bombastic comments

David Cunliffe‘s entered the race for #laboursgottalent.

His press conference was bizarre.

Surrounded by party luminaries like Iain Lees-Galloway, Sue Moroney, Carol Beaumont, Louisa Wall and Nanaia Mahuta, he defended his wealth by claiming that the PM apparently flies over his Herne Bay house by helicopter en route to his electorate office.

He also claimed that mothers can no longer afford milk for their kids, and that taxi drivers work 14 hour days for $5 an hour..

At one point he literally embraced ‘socialism’ with a staged presentation of roses.

Perhaps worst of all, he promised top economic jobs for the Green Party in any Government he leads.

A few high/low lights:

Matthew Hooton noticed too and has written a column at the NBR (paywalled):

David Cunliffe has just become John Key’s preferred choice for leader of the Labour Party.

In his announcement at his electorate office in middle class New Lynn, far across town from his home in decile 10 Herne Bay, Mr Cunliffe came across as absolutely bonkers – a Kevin Rudd or a Tony Blair or Paul Keating at their most hubristic.

It was a pretty presumptuous speech.

Mr Cunliffe spoke the way one might expect from Nelson Mandela upon release from Robben Island.

Or Martin Luther King from the Lincoln Memorial.

Or Barack Obama upon election as US president.

In fact, Mr Cunliffe did indeed orate “yes we can!”

If such a style was bonkers enough in a small west Auckland electorate office, some of the content was worse.

The promise to raise taxes was fair enough. But the justification for why he chooses to live in Herne Bar rather than New Lynn? We are meant to believe it was to enable his lawyer wife to breastfeed! Women in New Lynn obviously can’t.

He claimed, almost certainly dishonestly, that Mr Key flies over his house to transport himself from Parnell to Helensville. This is something the National Party could easily work out.

He welcomed a presentation of red roses on the grounds they are the international symbol of socialism. This for someone who denied he would take Labour to the left.

Mr Cunliffe revealed why those he has worked with at university, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs & Trade, the Boston Consultancy Group and the Labour caucus have all come to dislike him so much.

He has no sense of proportion of his place in the world.

Mr Key will need only to wait for him to self-destruct to secure his third term. And after this afternoon’s bizarre performance, Grant Robertson and Shane Jones must be feeling more hopeful.

In many ways the speech was kind of like this one from Gilderoy Lockhart:


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  • Phar Lap

    Well Cunliffe aint named” snake eyes” for nothing.Seems when he had a real job he couldn’t cut the mustard.It was alleged he was so lazy he wouldn’t work in an iron lung.Suppose that is why he joined the lazy losers party Lie-bour.It will be a cold day in hell for NZ if he gets selected.

    • cows4me

      Don’t know about “snake eyes” Phar lap but I’m sure he would need a step ladder to check out a snake’s arsehole.

  • sheppy

    Does DC have a $1M hidden offshore Bank account too?

    • Quintin Hogg

      Don’t know, but the house looks like it’s worth 2 mil plus

      • sheppy

        Ah, so another true socialist getting ready to pick other peoples pockets. Good to see nothing’s changed!

      • Richard McGrath

        Average house price in Herne Bay, the home of rich pricks = $2m
        Decile rating of New Lynn School = 4

  • FredFrog

    “The promise to raise taxes was fair enough.”

    No it wasn’t. Until labia stop regarding people on middle income income as “rich pricks”, and stop trying to milk them in order to buy votes from the workshy, they will not get the support of middle NZ.

    • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

      What else Labour knows? Tax and spend. Pathetic bunch of losers.

    • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

      The joker will keep the threshold carefully at 80K so that middle NZ escapes.

  • GazzW

    Lees-Galloway, Mahuta, Beaumont, Moroney & Wall. Wow, what a lineup of luminaries! What would his Cabinet look like as presumably the afforenamed will all want their blood money.

    • Exactly Gazz. The people that were absent were much more telling.

    • Hazards001

      Yep, the only thing missing from that conference was a decent dose of 1080 to get rid of some of the biggest economic scourges NZ has ever had to bear witness too.
      Bunch of fucking pests!

  • conwaycaptain

    Hasn’t he heard what has happened to his Socialist Mate M Hollande with raising the taxes and what is happening to industries in France and Italy.
    The Greens at the economic table??? Heaven help us

  • williamabong

    Flanked by five wimin and two “men”, certainly starts to show balance, Helen would be so proud.
    How can you use Norman and economics in the same sentence and still have any form of credibility.
    I looked hard at the video, his surgeon was brilliant, you can’t even see the scar from the lobotomy.

  • James Stephenson

    Look at that Beaumont, leaning back against the wall and glowering like some mafia enforcer…

    Also, what’s with the David Tua thing round his neck?

  • Whafe

    It left me feeling like wow, he the man… NOT

    Again, if Silent T thinks him being the new leader is going to sort Labour, he is more delusional than he acts…

    Next, move on…

    • kehua

      I sit and wait, for they have earned their fate and will never know why for it`s `too late`.

  • Slouching Towards Waitakere

    Not that I would want to agree with a Labour pol for all the tea in China, but yes … it is entirely possible to work as a cabbie for five dollars and hour … and even less.

  • maninblack

    fuck that is cringe worthy- I despair for NZ inc

  • Hemi Brown

    F**K he is bad, he makes Grant Robertson look good! I have always thought he was weird but now he can stand in the spotlight he is a freak. The people standing around him are crazy.
    This type of leadership election is going to keep Labour moving to the left and make them rarely electable, it is National’s to lose.
    Shane Jones is their only chance at success next year as he could win votes back from the middle, but the ferals in the Labour Party have their day to shine and pick an un-electable twat.

    • AngryTory

      They already are unelectable, and should not be permitted even to contest an election

  • Macca

    ‘The promise to raise taxes was fair enough’

    Oh really!? But of course, what else have the left got to offer than to take from the haves so as to give to their core bunch of losers?
    They just can’t seem to get it that Nationals lowering of taxes was not only an incentive to those high tax payers to employ more but a means of giving something back to try and keep them from heading off shore! The left can never comprehend this. They are just too bent on creating derision with their pathetic politics of envy and greed!

    • AngryTory

      Nationals lowering of taxes

      National didn’t lower taxes. Tax is higher now as a percentage of GDP than ever when Hellen was PM. Not to say Hellen didn’t want to raise taxes, but she never got ’em as high as the current “National” government

      • Macca

        You need to have a slightly better look at your facts sunshine! Cullen bought in a grand total of 22 new taxes whilst he was in office and shunned continual advise from treasury to cut taxes. As a consequence, he didn’t cut any taxes – just kept increasing them – and all this during the huge highs of the world economy! Cullen increased the annual tax take from some 50 to 90 odd billion in the rein of terror!

        Labour did nothing to increase or generate any wealth in to this country – other than to hit everyone with higher taxes in their socialist utopia! National was landed with their policies – knowing that if they cut them, the already ferrel media would hang them for it. How the fuck has National been able to grow our economy in a world recession and with the MASSIVE cost of the Christchurch rebuild? Use your fucken brains instead of your typical left leaning drivel that you continuously parrot here! Look what Labor have done to what was a booming economy in Australia – and they inherited over 50 billion from the previous government! What did they do – gave it all away to the populace – very responsible. Maybe you should go their as you keep alluding to our government doing such a bad job! What an unhappy wanker you are!

        • AngryTory

          Cullen increased the annual tax

          And it is now even higher than it was under Cullen!

          How the fuck has National been able to grow our economy in a world recession and with the MASSIVE cost of the Christchurch rebuild?

          By borrowing money. Not by cutting spending. by borrowing billions and billions.

          Use your fucken brains instead of your typical left leaning drivel that you continuously parrot here!

          Left Wing? I’m not unhappy: I’m angry. I’m angry that Key gets a free pass when he is taxing more, spending more, paying more in benefits and super, more on health, and more on education than Hellen ever did. These are the actual facts of NZ.

          What needs to happen? Simple: admit – we can never afford to rebuild Christchurch; we can’t afford welfare; we can’t afford the super; and we certainly can’t afford state schools and state hospitals. And just stop the lot.

          • Macca

            What you either don’t know or choose not to is that Labour were already borrowing heavily BEFORE they lost power and had been from the time they came in to power – and once again, all this when piggy backing of the strongest world economy (arguably), in the history of mankind!

            Regarding your closing paragraph as to what National should do, which is basically do away with all the irresponsible socialist policies bought in by Labour to buy their way back in to power, do you think you are the only person in NZ that can see that?! Let me add a couple more for you which you must have overlooked in your negative haste! WFF and interest free student loans – did you forget those! Once again, I reiterate, do you truly believe that no one in National can see the damage these policies are doing to NZ? Sadly too many parents are not mature enough to realize that these left policies are ruining us! Who do you think their vote would go to if National reversed them? What do you think the left would use as their election platform if National did cut them? Do you not remember how disappointed the left were when they thought they could trap National in to saying they would dice the rail, WFF, student loans etc?

            I say again, I ask you to have a think about what you say before you say it – rather than just parroting the obvious with no solutions!

            What should National have done with Christchurch – just walk away and let the people lay dead in the streets! Some common sense and humility please!

          • kehua


          • AngryTory

            What should National have done with Christchurch – just walk away and let the people lay dead in the streets!

            Pauper’s grave for people whose families don’t love them enough to make other arrangements. That would also be a fine memorial.

            What you either don’t know or choose not to is that Labour were already borrowing heavily BEFORE they lost power

            actually they weren’t: they just projected that they would. Key had a choice. Just like flushing 2.5 BILLION down the crapper on SCF – it was a Labour policy, and a criminally stupid & corrupt Labour policy – and Key kept that too. Just like WFF and student loans and EQC and WFF and ACC and DPB (renamed) and hospitals schools roads trains etc

            All stupid labour policies. All kept by Key.

            I reiterate, do you truly believe that no one in National can see the damage these policies are doing to NZ?

            It’s fucking obvious no-one in National – at least no one who matters, I’m guessing Jami-Lee Ross knows and cares by no-one else – no-one either knows, or no-one has the guts to make the hard, difficult, decisions that the vanishingly small percentage of New Zealanders who are — frankly — basically numerate, know absolutely must be made.

            What do you think the left would use as their election platform if National did cut them?

            As whale said: why the fuckety fuck didn’t Key give us SM? or back to FPP? Or Geographical Proportionality? Or a taxpayer franchise? Or Brash’s excellent idea from his taskforce of a “fiscal council” (an upper house setting all tax rates, preventing all borrowing, and giving the lower house government decreasing bounds on their spending).

            Where is even Rodney’s maximum nominal spend that the government could not spend any more in nominal dollars than it spends today? (oh fuck and even he allowed for inflation & population growth).

            What ails NZ is obvious to anyone who is basically numerate – who has merit say in Year 13 maths, economics, or accounting (or international A levels or IB). Introducing that as a qualification for casting a party vote, plus geographical proportionality, would basically fix things. What’s key done?

            Smile. Wave. Nothing.

          • Bryan

            of course the tax take is higher because our economy had grown and so we are able to pay out more to enable better health and education and care of the older folks

            so you would do nothing yet you think nothing of taking a loan to buy a home and this govt is borrowing to get Chch back up and operating because they KNOW they will get their return from the smart workers of Canterbury who have lead in the export field for years unlike Auckland that takes from all the rest of the country and needs to lift its productivity to match what other parts of NZ provide to them and so correct the imbalance of consumption and production.

            lastly remember a lot of the lift in taxes is coming from overseas insurance companies paying into NZ and they are paying 15 % on top of all those claims so kiwi resources are not being drawn down on to make those payouts and pay that GST so its a very big inflow of capital in effect

          • AngryTory

            of course the tax take is higher because our economy had grown and so we are able to pay out more to enable better health and education and care of the older folks

            That’s a policy choice. A policy choice called communism. NZ needs to flush far less down the crapper on health / education / super – not more!!

  • Did anyone else notice that the MSM are praising his performance?

  • Jimmie

    To explain Cunilffe’s attitude think of a caged peacock that has been fretting for many years (perhaps all his life) that he needs to be freed from the shackles of humility and servitude to take his rightful place in the pantheon of great leaders.

    And now, at last, his fretting is over, he can spread his peacock feathers in all their glory, and trample on lesser creatures in order to achieve his destiny.

    The first step on his path to immortality is to hint to the Nobel Prize committee that he should be short listed for a new prize – the Political prize for inherent greatness.

    • Bafacu

      Your last paragraph is one of the most profound of any that I have read here – congratulations!

  • Mr Sackunkrak

    I think we have a new FIGJAM.

    • kehua

      I prefer ` Lurch`.

  • Liberty

    Clarkism is back
    We are going to look after OUR people.
    And raise taxes. As it is our duty, As a party of Marxist to screw the rich pricks.

    • AngryTory

      Clarkism never went away.

      • Liberty

        I don’t recall Shearer using the term “Our People”
        Which might explain his lack of support in caucus
        Who is “our People” ?
        Is it anyone who thinks. It’s there god dam right to suck of
        the state tit?

  • sheppy

    Having watched that it sounds like AirNZ had better buy some more planes and point them at Aussie, once Labour loses by a landslide over there and with Wussel advising on economic policy over here it’ll be where the jobs get exported to.
    I wonder what they’ll do when they run out of perceived “Rich Pricks” to tax

    • Mr Sackunkrak

      Redefine “rich prick” to be anyone earning over $36k. Easy really.

      • sheppy

        I suspect that won’t be low enough to get the revenue they seek.

    • Ducky

      they could canablise themselves…

  • jcpry

    Stage managed crap! Looks to me that if he says it enough times he might actually believe what he is spouting – but he hasn’t quite got there yet.

  • lou

    He had to learn his spin doctors speech – that’s why he took so long to react.

    And this mornings comrades quip – really? If he tries to ponder to all possible support – he will be weighed down by all the symbols he has to show – good luck pulling that off. Pick a group and run with them, or stay as confused a picture as you are currently projecting.

    Loved the symbolism of the narcissistic picture on the wall.

  • FFS, The Prat actually said this ……
    “I am sick and tired of watching hope die in the eyes of our young”.

    Hypocritical to an art form!

  • JB Sails

    And win NOW!

    *awkward silence*

    I wonder if the crowd was meant to cheer then?

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Why John Key should be worried? Here is what Curryleaf has to say – “But the feedback I’m getting is that I’m pretty high energy, I’m
    willing to lead from the front, call a spade a spade and help the party
    move forward in debate against John Key’s National party.” – ooooo so scary,,,,,

    • JeffDaRef

      “the feedback I’m getting” – isn’t that the equivalent of “my mum thinks I’m good looking”??

  • conwaycaptain

    Consider JK’s self depreciating attitude and humour to DC’s over the top ME ME ME ME, I know best I’ve been to Harvard.

    • drummerboy

      the fact that he went to Harvard is a good enough reason he shouldn’t be the next PM. very rarely does anything good come from that university, they are all a bunch of raving commies

    • Agent BallSack

      Compare that with John Key:

      Born in Auckland before moving to Christchurch when he was a child, Key attended the University of Canterbury and graduated in 1981 with a bachelor of commerce. He began a career in the foreign exchange market in New Zealand before moving overseas to work for Merrill Lynch, in which he became head of global foreign exchange in 1995, a position he would hold for six years. In 1999 he was appointed a member of the Foreign Exchange Committee of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York until leaving in 2001.

      • AngryTory

        State house DPB kid.

        That we’ve still got state houses & the DPB (albeit renamed) just goes to show you can take the kid of the DPB, but not the DPB out of the kid!

  • Mickrodge

    “David Cunliffe has just become John Key’s preferred choice for leader of the Labour Party”.

    I think Hooton has just hit the nail on the head right there.

    I got the impression there that David Cunliffe had just been voted President of the New Lynn Bowling Club or maybe even Chairman of the Herne Bay Citizens Advice Bureau such was magnitude of the occasion.

    As charismatic as a bowl of rice & as likeable as a lanced boil if Cunliffe is the great redeemer of the left then those supporters deserve all the ridicule & scorn they get.

  • Patrick

    Frightening prospect isn’t it – “progressive tax policies” aka pillage the middle classes & give to the idle. “Greens part of the economic portfolio”? Heaven help NZ if this fool becomes PM.

    • Ducky

      Labia and Green talibans’ tax policy has always been to tax the workers to the hilt and spend it on the lazy bludgers. Unfortunately in this sleepy country, you will always get stupid braindead voters and workers who will continuely vote for those bastards. They are always jealous with envy when working people who have succeeded are looked upon as the evil rich .

  • GregM

    I genuinely despair when I see shit like this. Once again labours answer to everything is tax productive people more, rather than spending more wisely what you have. They just don’t get it. As for the greens anywhere near the treasury benches, if that happens I’m outta here, and won’t be coming back.

  • Lion_ess

    New beginnings? Was there ever a more over-used, under-whelming piece of rhetoric? It’s so corny it makes me blush. This subsides, and is rapidly followed by a vision of dog vomit which also subsides, replaced by an outburst of laughter.

    “It is time for a new beginning” “There is a strong sense that now is the time for a new beginning for Labour and for New Zealand”
    Oh Pleeease – do yourselves a favour and sack whoever writes this shit.

  • rockape

    That speech was definitely a “Cheering Sheep” moment. It makes me weep,this is all about New policies and a new beginning. Now where have I heard spend like a drunk and Tax rich pricks before,such an origional plan! Cunliffe and loyalty,who was it set Goofey up for that Show me the Money moment that stuffed Labour at the last election and goofeys career. Where was the calling for unity and loyalty when he backstabbed Goeff and Shearer. Loyalty in Cunliffes mind is loyalty to the self annointed leader of Labour.

    • FredFrog

      Exactly. Nothing “NEW” there, just the same old shit that labia have always done which has made the majority of this country hate them.

  • steve and monique

    Smarmy fuck. Gone from nice guy Shearer, to this asshole. Rather have Shane Jones over Cunntilippes, or reach around Robertson.

    • AngryTory

      Rather have ’em all hanging from lampposts than have any as parliament.

    • Ducky

      funny enough, out of the three stooges, only GR seems to be the nicer of the lot. The other two ,”Porno” and Cuntface are the Nasty boys. maybe they would be great for the Labia image..

      • steve and monique

        Rather vote the whole lot off the planet. Cuntilips is a two faced wanker. Robertson ,sadly in a country where bigots still exist will not welcome an openly gay PM. So that leaves Shane Jones. Add Norman(greens) to the mix,and god save us all.

  • Agent BallSack

    Christ with comments like that I give it a week before MSM starts calling him Silent T

    • AngryTory

      What do you mean silent?

    • steve and monique

      Be more like green T once he goe’s to bed with Russel

  • Hollyfield

    I found the most interesting part to be his response to the question about the large portrait of him. He replied “I didn’t paint it and I didn’t sign it”. The only way I have been able to interpret that is a dig at his former leader, Helen Clark. That doesn’t seem very smart, politically.

  • drummerboy

    “national symbol for socialism” – nothing i hate more than a socialist, thinks he can use the force of the state to confiscate my hard earned money (that i will earn one day when i finish uni). As for Russel Norman, if he gets finance minister he might become New Zealand’s first assassinated politician (which i am not advocating).

    • AngryTory

      Socialism and Unionism need to be banned as part of any constitution that will protect freedom and democracy.

    • Guest

      Drummerboy, I’m guessing you do know that your University fees are subsidised by the government (if you’re a domestic student)? That’s done through the hard earned money of other Kiwis. I don’t mind paying that tax so plenty of people can access tertiary education, but I hope you know how your education is being paid for…. a little bit of socialism?

      • drummerboy

        Yeah i know it is, but i didn’t decided that or vote for that. I wish it wasn’t subsidised by the government and universities where made to stand on their own two feet. Victoria university is a joke, especially the Kelburn campus, full of leftist lunatics.

  • Ben

    If he does get it National’s TV campaign is sorted simply take all examples of societal and economic development under this government and tag it with a clip of 54-57 seconds “Under my leadership LABOUR we’ll say no!!”

  • manuka416

    What a poser

  • rockape

    Labours speech manual: Join the following phrases in any order: New beginning,/ Bold new future./ Tax the rich/ Our people/ Affordable homes/working people/We can be trusted/look after the little man?We want it and we want it now/a new dawn breaking/policies for the future/power to the people/ground breaking. Just throw together in any order. listen to the 3 stooges speeches and see how many you can tick off. A bottle of chardoney for the winner!

    • AngryTory

      Oops, you forgot to add in “Railway Froot Loop” and “School Meals” and “Rebuild Christchurch”

  • Andy

    50 year old TV ad from Ronald Reagan on the evils of socialised medicine

  • conwaycaptain

    Which schools do Cunliffe’s kids go to??