Sharia law prohibits women from farting loudly

In a city in Indonesia there is a new regulation under Sharia law preventing women from farting audibly.

An Islamic city council in the Indonesian province of Aceh, which follows Sharia, has banned female citizens from passing gas.

Sayyid Yahia, mayor of the city, told media that a ban was needed, as farting does not go well with the Islamic values of modesty. “Muslim women are not allowed to fart with sound, it’s against Islamic teachings,” he said. Meanwhile, the Indonesian Feminists Association told local media they will attempt to block the smelly law as they deem it discriminatory.

Talking to The Wadiyan, mayor Sayyid Yahia said the law aims to save people’s morals and behaviors. “When you see woman fart loud, she appears like a man. But if she sit sideways and pass it quietly, she looks like a woman,” Sayyid said.

Although the proposed law does not ban “quiet fart,” passing gas with sound is actually not uncommon in Southeast Asia, particularly for women consuming potatoes and peas. Obviously, women maintain that they feel healthier, farting loud. Fathima Khan, a medical doctor at the Al Banni Islamic Hospital in Aceh’s capital is critical of the proposed law: “There is no need to question this practice, let alone regulate it, because people do it for their health and safety,” she said.

The mayor declined to give The Wadiyan details of what the punishment would be for violators. While another member at the City council, who wished not to be named, said if convicted by the sharia court, the offender could receive 20 lashes for small farts and up to 3 months prison time for larger ones.

 


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  • GregM

    Bugger that, I would be beheaded within days.

    • For the purposes of Sharia Law, are you a woman Greg?

      • GregM

        Hard to tell the difference over there sometimes, some of the women are hairier than a chief stoker.

        • I’m glad to take your word for it. No pictures, please!

  • Dr Wang

    …and no differentiation of punishment based on the aromatic qualities of the said fart?

  • JeffDaRef

    Happy to do my bit for the cause…

  • Muffin

    How do the people put up with this sort of rubbish.

    • manuka416

      Check the parody level

  • I’ll do it my way

    ‘the offender could receive 20 lashes for small farts and up to 3 months prison time for larger ones’.
    yep …well we won’t be going to Indonesia in the near future as there is only large ones in this household.
    FFS… how totally wrong.

    • Ducky

      ps… how can one tell whether it is a small fart or multiple small farts? maybe earthquake seismic ratings should be the norm. 4.2 Richter scale… anything over 5.00 should get 20 lashes…

      • AnonWgtn

        In Indonesia if somebody thinks you have been Un Islamic you can be denounced, with no redress, and you will be severely punished, unless you are a man of course.

  • Col

    Put a whistle up there bum and every time the whistle makes a sound it is time for a cup of tea and prayer mats. Thank god I m not a Muslim girl, I would have been beheaded long ago.

  • Mr Sackunkrak

    This is another example of the Religion of Peace making itself look measured and reasonable. I wonder what the punishment for incontinence is?

  • Magoo

    Only silent but violents adhere to the teachings of the peaceful religion. Sounds like their usual modus operandi, except for the silent part that is. An additional 30 lashes with an axe if it smells like bacon.

  • Bunswalla

    I think you’ll find this online newspaper is their version of The Civilian

  • Steve (North Shore)

    I’m not female but
    Pull my finger

  • John.Doe.2013

    I guess they don’t have any yoga classes in Indonesia !

  • Monique Angel

    Potatoes and peas are fine. Guy or gal, it’s bread that causes you to fart like a tractor.

  • In church the old woman turns to her husband and whispers “. I just did a silent fart, what should I do? ” He replies, ” Put a new battery in your hearing aid. “

  • cows4me

    Shit you wouldn’t want to fart in one of those burka outfits, do they come with snorkels ?

    • Mr Sackunkrak

      Given my experience of Indonesian public bogs, you’d want the Hi-Lux air intake upgrade.

  • IWantToBeLikeMallardOneDay

    Better to fart loud than to follow through.

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