Things are bad when the French man up and you don’t

There are two rules of French Warfare.

1. The French only win when not led by a Frenchman.

2. The French only win when the Americans do the fighting.

Something is badly wrong though when the French man up for stoush in the Middle East and the Poms cower in their parliament.

France stepped firmly into Britain’s newly vacated role as President Francois Hollande promised to punish the “chemical massacre” by joining a US strike on Syria.

Without any need to seek parliament’s approval for a military operation,Mr Hollande made clear his readiness to order French forces into action alongside their American allies.

Yep the Americans are going to do the fighting.

Now the pom press are in on the act of mocking.


Now at least 5 government ministers face the sack after the embarrassing vote loss in the House of Commons.

Alan Duncan, David Gauke and Steve Webb failed to return from holiday to support the Government, angering the Prime Minister, according to sources.

Justine Greening, the International Development Secretary, and Mark Simmonds, a junior Foreign Office minister, claim to have not realised that voting had begun as they were in a meeting. Commons officials said the explanation was baffling as it “would have been clear” that a vote was happening.

Kenneth Clarke also abstained after being given permission for “logistical family reasons”, but the 73-year-old minister without portfolio is widely expected to lose his job anyway in a forthcoming reshuffle.

In total, including Liberal Democrats and a Downing Street adviser, 10 members of the Government are recorded as not having voted.


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  • Jmac

    The French are just being idiots. Even a fool can pick a fight.

    • Bert Root

      “Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “La Fromage Goat de La Republique” will be the biggest hits next Bastille Day. I’m not sure the first one sounds so good on an accordion.

      • Bunswalla

        You can say what you like about the French and even though I don’t like much of their recent politics, La Marseillaise is one of the most stirring and moving national anthems I’ve ever heard.

  • GazzW

    Cameron will be relieved to be off the hook. It’s a stoush that Britain can ill afford and that the Brit people have no desire to fight. 400+ body bags arriving at RAF Brize Norton from Afghanistan and 2000+ wounded is a sizable enough butcher’s bill. Let the Syrians sort it out. The Germans aren’t about to go either.

    • conwaycaptain

      Ah Gazzaw
      “Butchers Bill” you know your Nelson

      • GazzW

        To be honest CC I had forgotten that it was Nelson who used that very appropriate phrasing. If any European nation has cause to send in troops its the French given their history in Syria and presumably their resulting large investments there. Hollande has no option. He won’t be risking French lives though because they will use the Foreign Legion if it comes down to using ground forces.

        • LabTested

          Poland has said no as well. And while you may ask Who? They are one of the very few NATO countries that spend the required 4%? of GDP on defense. They were also all-in in Afghanistan

          • Bunswalla

            I guess there’s just no such thing as Polish Pride.

  • Polish Pride

    hmmm interesting. I did hear the first chemical weapons attack some months ago initially blamed on Assad turned out not to be Assad but from rebel forces claiming it was.
    I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised if when all is said and done we find out this one wasn’t Assad either.
    To me it makes absolutely no sense for Assad to carry out such an attack knowing full well what the likely response from the US would be.
    In fact given history and the state of the US economy I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a false flag with the goal of justifying an invasion by America before their economy implodes.

    • Bert Root

      $1bn per day to keep a war-ready naval task force in the Med. I think Obama was hoping the UK taxpayer would have picked up a bit of that cost (plus consumables).

    • LabTested

      …before their economy implodes. – Seriously?

      From 2 days ago. (American GDP)…increased by 2.5% in the second quarter

      Also have you heard of Fracking? Do you understand what it has done to America’s energy costs & its balance of payments.Do you not understand that many companies are now moving production from China back to America.

      Implode? How?

      • Polish Pride

        Implode? How?
        due to their
        significant and ever increasing National debt.

  • Orange

    If you stop them using weapons on each other then they’ll use them on Israel. If they use them on Israel they will turn into a lot of dust. If they turn into dust then fans and manure will be spoken of.

  • conwaycaptain

    At long last some common sense in the UK. Blair took the UK into Iraq and Afghanistan without the backing of Parliament and they have been a long running sore in the UK and have ended up leaving the two countries worse off than before.
    What people don’t realise is that these events in Syria are part of a far wider story than just part of a civil war in one country. You have to go back 1300 years for the root cause of the problem.
    This is a war between the Sunni and the Shia sect of Islam and they HATE each others guts. far greater than the sectarian violence in N Ireland but more like the wars of religion in Europe in the 16th and 17th century.
    Throw into this mix the hatred of the Christians for what they did in the Middle East during the Crusades where a bunch of THUGS (the Crusaders) came through the ME with murder rape and pillage and at this time Islam was the area of scientific, mathematical and architectural knowledge and advancement.
    Islam regressed and then we come to WW 1 and in 1917 Britain and France signed the Sykes Picot Treaty which divided up the Middle East the way Britain and France wanted it.
    Countries invented and no regard to religious, linguistic and tribal lines. We got Iraq, 3 provinces of the Ottoman Empire who hate each others guts. Syria with a mish mash of Sunni, Shia, Allawites and Christians all of whom don’t like each other. Jordan where as son of the King of Saudi was put on the throne.
    Then the running sore of Israel and Palestine where the UK had the Palestine Mandate and pulled out and they had something like 100k men trying to keep the Jews and Palestinians apart.
    Then we get to Egypt. This country is the oldest in the world with 5,000 years of history and has never been democratic.
    Why Barach Obama, who has no CONCEPT of history and really is another Professional Pollie thinks he can sort it out with a few cruise missiles I know not.
    Anyone that goes in, even the UN with a mandate, will get SLAUGHTERED. The best thing is to leave the BASTARDS to sort it out themselves. I don’t see the Saudis, etc lining up to send their armies in, I wonder why not.

    • James Growley

      I agree – leave it for Allah to sort out.

  • AngryTory

    The problem is clear- David Miliband (UK’s David Shearer) is a fucking cunt, a copper-bottomed shit

    • Bunswalla

      I’m not 100% sure what it is you’re getting at?

  • Bert Root

    The US has never been overly good at small, surgical, tactical bombardments. 200 cruise missiles is a small barrage in american parlance. 50 would be the entire British stock, more a gentle rib tickler than a wake up call for the Assads. No, the US won’t go in with anything less than 350+. They’ve got a defence industry to support after all.

  • conwaycaptain

    The difference between David Cameron and Hollande and Obama is that he is the Prime Minister, Obama and Hollande are the Commanders in Chief and can send their countries to war WITHOUT the support of their Parliaments.
    BUT Hollande has to get permission to send FRENCH troops to war BUT he has La Legion Etrangere he can send at will. The French have forgotten what happened in Algeria, Viet Nam and other colonies. If Hollande sends in ground troops, whether Fr or Legion and the body bags start coming back he will be more unpopular than he is at the moment. At the moment he is as popular as a pork chop in a Mosque/Synagogue

    • Mr_V4

      Of course Obama the failed consitutional lawyer forgets:
      Article I, Section 8, Clause 11
      [Congress shall have Power…] To declare War, grant Letters of
      Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and

    • Nechtan

      Hi Captain, lets give some credit to the Paras and the Legion in Algeria they had the FLN beat (admittedly they weren’t PC about doing it) it was de Gaulle that handed it over. The military had suppressed the rebellion ,at least at that time, no doubt it would have dragged on which accounts for de Gaulle’s decision.

  • unitedtribes

    Quite ballsey for the French and even a left wing govt

    • sandynobb

      The French are just acting out their nostalgia. They ruled Syria from 1920–1946. As unrepentant imperialists, and never reconciled to their loss of empire,
      the French have skin in the game.

      • GazzW

        If the French go into Syria it will make for interesting times in the Paris suburbs.

        • sandynobb

          Paris suburbs: you mean ‘culturally enriched’ neighbourhoods?

          • Nechtan

            No Islamic slums might more be correct

          • LabTested

            I was in a small bar in a Paris suburb & the owner had a photo of Adolf Hitler behind the bar. I couldn’t quite work it out.

        • Nechtan

          Might well give them a legit reason to go sort the problem out?

          • sandynobb

            US drones over Paris will do the sorting out.

          • Nechtan

            Works for me

          • Muffin

            Round up all the resident rag heads that riot and cause unrest and land them in Syria as ground troops first. No training needed

  • kevin

    I think it has to do with Al Qaeda (think 9/11 – Twin Towers) backing the Syrian rebels. By climbing into the conflict one could be seen to be endorsing Al Qaeda… Tricky stuff all round, no wonder Obama has been stalling, stalling and stalling some more. US citizens would be outraged at the prospect if they figure it out… Cameron is probably relieved with the UK result.

  • Patrick

    The French are welcome to it, more fool them. Whomever decides to start lobbing bombs about in Syria will not be thanked, their young men & women will come home in body bags or missing limbs & all for what? A bunch of Arabs that hate the West & will turn on us as quick as can be. Leave them to it, they can sort out their own shite.

  • Kopua Cowboy

    The Middle East is fucked. Turn the whole place into molten glass, I say.

  • Bart

    The Brits never went in to Vietnam either, but we did!

  • conwaycaptain

    Obama has forgotten Patton’s maxim>
    I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one on either side