Collins crushing on Contenders

Judith Collins guest blogs about what she calls the three Amigos in the dance of the desperates.

I grew up Labour – in the days of Norm Kirk and the more forgettable Bill Rowling.  I knew David Lange – having chosen to intern in his Mangere Electorate Office while at Law School.

So I can say that to see the self indulgent warbling of Labour’s Three Amigos  as they troop around the country promising anything to anyone (with the exception of Shane who has threatened only bad things to the PM) will be a mildly sad sight to those who still willingly pay their $10 to join the Labour Party.

Political parties should always be about their members but this strange and foolish exhibition of faked friendship and grandiose schemes has been nothing more than embarrassing. 

It has been great for me though, I’ve been able to harvest literally hours of video and promises that I will throw back in their faces.

Judith then rates the three contenders.

So let’s look at the candidates:

David Cunliffe – no one would argue that Cunners (the more affectionate term for him) is anything but intelligent – least of all himself.  His overwhelming self confidence would be admirable if it weren’t for his overwhelming lack of confidence in any of his colleagues.  His choice last time of the pleasant Nanaia Mahuta as a Deputy said it all. Ticking boxes is more important in a Deputy to Cunners than either ability or work ethic. He doesn’t want a Deputy who might have an opinion not his own.

Grant Robertson – I really don’t think many people care that Grant is gay. In my opinion, Kiwis care that Grant  thinks it’s such a big deal that he denied that his partner, Alf, was in the very same pub as Grant when it suited him for the TV cameras.  That was a Judas moment and Grant lost my respect for it.   Most people who know Grant would say that he’s a nice guy. He tries hard to be liked.  He tries hard to fit in. And therein is part of his problem.  Leaders make decisions – tough decisions. Grant’s already shown that he can’t make those decisions.  He’s more interested in being liked.  Grant thinks that Kiwis care about what Grant cares about.  They don’t.

Shane Jones – well, I quite like Shane. He has  the gift of oratory like Norman Kirk or David Lange.  His natural ability though is used to mask his chronic lack of discipline.  Unlike David and Grant, Shane is the person you’d like to have a drink with. He really wasn’t much of a Minister, but he had fun trying.  Shane likes to play the larrikin which can be amusing.  But he goes too far when he descends into smutty language and he let himself down in Hamilton.

She is dead right on Robertson…I laughed at her description of the vainglorious Cunliffe. How does she think this farce will end?

How will this end? Robertson will get the overwhelming support of his caucus who will forgive him for not properly supporting David Shearer – after all – none of them did in the end.

Cunliffe will get the overwhelming support of the wider Party and the unions. Shane will get support from people who like the fact that he has tried to continue the tradition of working class hero not mollycoddled prat.

Cunliffe will be the next Labour Leader. He’ll install a deputy who makes him look good.  And then the knives really will come out.

Dead right…I can’t hardly wait.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

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