Why would Grant lie about Alf?

Grant Robertson is out and proud, he is openly gay and uses that as an electoral crutch when it suits him.

However for some strange reason he lied to Seven Sharp the other night about the whereabouts of his partner Alf while trying to portray himself as a blokes bloke at the pub to watch rugby…with Kris Fa’afoi and for some unknown reason Auckland based MP Jacinda Ardern.

I presume the other MPs would have been in Wellington for the Levin meeting – quite why we’re paying for Jacinda to be in Wellington for a meeting of the faithful in Levin is the question… 

Why would Grant do that?


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  • blokeintakapuna

    Ohh what webs we weave – when first we practise to deceive…

  • Euan Ross-Taylor

    Maybe it is because he is embarrassed about Alf, and he thinks he should be able to do better? Maybe the hotties will line up for the ‘leader’ of Labour?
    Or… maybe Grant, you could have said Alf is shy and doesn’t want to be a part of NZ politics which all would understand – you lying tosser.

    • conwaycaptain

      You are on to something. Alf is a bus driver and Grant is a LAWYER and could be PM so maybe he thinks Alf is below him.

      • Gretch

        He’s below h alright. And he’s blow him. I know – play on words.
        Sorry Te thought of two guys blowing each other is too much. This guy can’t get votes from ordinary arm wrestling men being a fruity.
        There is nothing worse than a whimpering man.

  • blokeintakapuna

    if he can blatantly bare-faced lie as easy and comfortably as that – in front of a TV camera and reporter, whilst his partner is in the same camera shot even – just how many other lies is he capable of?
    Grant – you’ve just lied away any skerrick of credibility… and Google will know it for all eternity…

  • If it is THIS easy to lie about things that really don’t matter, then I don’t feel very good about what is ahead.

    Simply stating before the Interview that he’s here but he likes to stay out of public view would have been sufficient.

    It shows that at the core, Grant Robertson has poor judgement and lies too easily.

    • Euan Ross-Taylor

      What do you expect Pete, he’s a union man.

      • I think lying is expected of just about everyone, given the right circumstances. Try going through life not lying and see how it works out. We (almost?) all do it to some degree.

        What is on display here is poor judgement. It’s shocking. And that is to be a party leader? From our perspective: great. But it doesn’t bode well for the NZ Labour Party.

        • But the wife will do that when the marriage is on the rocks ?
          Alf was busy M8!

        • Euan Ross-Taylor

          I don’t expect everyone to lie but I get your drift. Sure we might weave a minor fabrication if the truth would be unhelpful, but an outright in your face lie like this is really stupid as you say – shocking. What if the next question put to him was – are you sure he is not here Grant? I now have no doubt that he would extend his lie. I wish the reporter knew at the time – it could have been Grants’ last interview and exit.

      • Knickers

        Haha! Union man. So quaint this union thing. Bless their little historic flag waving socks. It’s nice to see someone still upholds ceremonial rituals of the past to entertain us and remind us of how people used to live.

  • jcpry

    FFS! I cannot believe that anyone – especially someone angling for higher office – can be quite so stupid. I mean to say being caught out with a bare faced lie like this must damage any chance he has with the electorate at large. Talk about a golden opportunity for a negative campaign ad in the next election.

    • Question

      I can. He is from Labour. Stupid is as stupid does.

  • Sym Gardiner


  • sandynobb

    Alf deserves better.

  • 4077th

    Hey Grant, that burning smell is your pants on fire mate.

    • LesleyNZ

      Yes……. we used to chant that as kids.
      “Liar, liar, pants on fire. Hangin’ on a telephone wire!” is a paraphrased version of the 1810 poem “The Liar” by William Blake.
      Deceiver, dissembler
      Your trousers are alight
      From what pole or gallows
      Shall they dangle in the night?

      When I asked of your career
      Why did you have to kick my rear
      With that stinking lie of thine
      Proclaiming that you owned a mine?

      When you asked to borrow my stallion
      To visit a nearby-moored galleon
      How could I ever know that you
      Intended only to turn him into glue?

      What red devil of mendacity
      Grips your soul with such tenacity?
      Will one you cruelly shower with lies
      Put a pistol ball between your eyes?

      What infernal serpent
      Has lent you his forked tongue?
      From what pit of foul deceit
      Are all these whoppers sprung?

      Deceiver, dissembler
      Your trousers are alight
      From what pole or gallows
      Do they dangle in the night?

  • conwaycaptain

    It seems to me that the only reasonably straight shooter of the three of them is the Jones Boy.
    Unfortunately half the caucus don’t like him, the wimmin, and he is to the right of the party.

    • Honcho

      Exactly what the caucus doesn’t understand, and exactly the reason why labour will lose again in 2014. Labour needs to recapture the centre and mute (or gut) the unelectables within their ranks if they are to ever to govern. If they are allowed to move further to the left, they will bleed more votes to the likes of the conservatives, and Winston first.

  • rockape

    Show me alf, nationals new election slogan!

    • Euan Ross-Taylor

      sounds like “Where’s Wally ? – answer: He’s married to Alf!

  • snakebit

    What an idiot. Bet he had a little cry over this…alf patting his flabby back…”there there big fella, not to worry aye, most people already think you are a fat twat with shit for brains”…

  • 4077th

    Hey Grant, I found him…here he is!

    • Euan Ross-Taylor

      Not a bad likeness.

  • I wouldn’t normally comment about an MP’s partner or family, but given that Grant has made it a topic for conversation himself by lying about Alf, he has opened himself to criticism.

    As Petal says, the small lies are easy. But then the lies get bigger. If Grant wanted the scene to be filmed with him surrounded by straight people, that’s fine, but he could have said that Alf doesn’t like the limelight, or something like that.

    Alf’s the one I feel sorry for though. It’s not Alf’s fault that his partner feels that he has to tell lies.

  • LionKing

    He needs to Man-up about the fact he’s in a gay relationship and is proud to be with the Alf bloke. FFS if he wants to be the PM then he can’t hide the other bloke in the closet.

    • AnonWgtn

      But he can take him to a CHOGM meeting for example as wife ?
      Which side goes where ?

      • Honcho

        I don’t think Mrs Peter Davis ever accompanied her husband the klark-beast on any appointments.

        • Patrick

          He did but headed for the nearest gay bay

    • Go Away Grant

      What he should do is publically address NZ at a local RSA in a historic speech and say:
      ‘I like giving blowies. I like being rooted up the jacksie. I don’t feel like a man but a woman. I am gay’.
      And then flick his tongue in and out of his mouth repetitively like a lizard.

  • BJ

    People tell lies when they don’t believe in themselves or for personal gain. Grant Robertson just told the public a blatant lie because he did not think being up front would help his position. He obviously believes that the voters being reminded he is gay will not bode well – well neither does lying.

  • John.Doe.2013

    Of the 3 muppets, is Shane Jones the only one who hasn’t been caught out telling porkies ? Integrity not an issue for Labour Party leaders any more……thanks Helen !

    • GregM

      Nope, but he is the only one caught out pulling porkies…

    • Shane sucks

      But he was caught watching porkies.

  • dumbshit


  • cows4me

    Alf might be comforting Mrs Cunny, both orphans to politics.

    • 4077th

      “Mrs Cunny” snigger…made my day C4M.

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    “with Kris Fa’afoi and for some unknown reason Auckland based MP Jacinda Ardern.” – may be Alfie thought Horse lady was actually a man?!??! I am serious here folks….

  • TC

    Can Labour hit the ‘reset’ button and start again…again?

    Between this ‘regular guy at the pub performance’ and Cunner’s ‘watch me not answer the question over and over’ TV performance, what Labour voters are left must be groaning and thinking it’s going to be a very lonnnnnnng three weeks.

    And to think it’s all before they fall even further into the abyss with one of these as their chosen ‘winner’.

    So painful.

    • Bad__Cat

      So sad. Not!

  • Luc jorieux

    Breaking news…….. Sadly today Helen Clark has drowned. They found her face down on Ricki Lake

    • dumbshit

      best side up

  • BR

    Show us your bum chum Grant.

  • kwikkiwi

    According to JT on his radio live interview with GR alf left his wife for Grant. Grant wouldn’t deny it and got very angry!!! Big Achilles heel!

  • lofty

    Alf (alien life form) was actually visiting his home planet of Melmac mining for some melamine resin, he just returned to the pub a little early and caught Grant by surprise…..well it has as much credibility as anything else.

  • Shelly

    Poor Alfie (what a fucked name that is) – his ‘husband’ is ashamed of him. He should by rights feel pretty upset. Any decent wife with half a brain would walk out the front door and stay at a girlfriends to teach their husband a lesson if that happened.
    Alf if he is embarrassed by you he doesn’t want to mate. You are fodder. Be ready to move on.

  • LesleyNZ

    Why did he lie? Because this is the real Alf. Cat lovers would NEVER vote for Grant knowing this!