Key to meet NASA to get 70 lazy kiwis into paid work?

NASA has just the job opening for some of our bludgers who are perfectly qualified for the position. Let’s hope John Key is flying to talk to NASA.

Who says there’s a job crisis in America? NASA is currently looking to pay a number of volunteers $18,000 to lie in bed for 70 days. Participants will be allowed to play games, talk to friends and family members, take classes, even work remotely for their real job, as long as they do not get out of bed for the entire duration of the experiment.

The study will simulate the effects of microgravity on the human body by having the beds tilt head-down at a six-degree angle, forcing body fluids to shift to the upper part of the body and create cardiovascular conditions similar to what is seen during real spaceflight. Scientists will also be monitoring the atrophy of muscle and bone density in the subjects. 

Unfortunately, it will take more than years of experience watching marathons ofThe Wire on your sofa to land this position. According to NASA news chief Kelly Humphries, “subjects need to be very healthy.” Even those who make it to the short list will need to go through a modified Air Force Class Three physical, complete a battery of tests, and undergo a 90-minute examination by a psychologist.

“We want to make sure we select people who are mentally ready to spend 70 days in bed,” says senior scientist Dr. Roni Cromwell. “Not every type of person can tolerate an extended time in bed.”

If you still think you have what it takes to be a space potato, you can apply for the position here.


Do you want:

  • Ad-free access?
  • Access to our very popular daily crossword?
  • Access to daily sudoku?
  • Access to Incite Politics magazine articles?
  • Access to podcasts?
  • Access to political polls?

Our subscribers’ financial support is the reason why we have been able to offer our latest service; Audio blogs. 

Click Here  to support us and watch the number of services grow.

As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.

64%