A proper whip

I can imagine Louise Upston doing this…but not Chris Hipkins.

Imagine if the snivelling little ginga trying that on with Shane Jones. Mallard could get away with it…I’m told his abuse of backbenchers is legendary…he will be regretting unleashing that sort of behaviour on David Cunliffe in the house repeatedly, regretting and hoping that Cunliffe doesn’t become leader. Once such incident was over stopping David Cunliffe tweeting while in the house. The expletives issued were heard by numerous MPs surrounding Cunliffe’s seat.

The next step is delivery. Or as it is experienced by backbench MPs, enforcement. A strong whips’ office is vital in tight votes. A Cabinet minister who served in both the Blair and Brown governments retells his first encounter with Labour whips. Newly elected, he was walking through the corridors of the House when he was accosted by one. He was pushed against the wall, his testicles grabbed and twisted sharply – and painfully. “Son, you’ve done nothing to annoy me. Yet. Just think what I’ll do if you cross me.” That is how you manage backbenchers. 

I was in the Commons, drinking with some MPs, on the day that the vote for the Iraq war was passed. “Hear that noise John? It’s limbs being broken.” That was the job, and it was done. No one who was in the House this week witnessed so much as a Chinese burn being inflicted.

Gutless whips and mealy mouth ed leadership cost David Cameron dearly. His leadership is now in question and his invincibility is shattered.


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  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Once Curryleaf gets elected, Chippie will be loyal to him till the end…..

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Bros – we can see how the Labourers will fight the 2014 election….promises that won’t be costed…Rolly Polly saying living wage for Government contractors…Curryleaf promising a minimum wage of $15….they will buy the 2014 election at any cost….John Key and his National cronies must be really worried now….WFF for the dole bludgers is certainly on the menu for the Labour now…

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Just to let you know folks – Curryleaf is so confident of victory in 2014, he is keen to announce his cabinet line-up right now.

    Some of the front runners include:

    1. Rolly Polly – Deputy Prime Minister and minister of nothing else.

    2. Pornsy Jonesy – Finance Minister
    3. Hippie Norman – Economics Development Minister
    4. Horse Woman – Social Development
    5. Aunty Annette – Health Minister
    6. Furious Fill Gap – Defence Minister

    7. Horny Hone – Maori Affairs Minister
    8. Winnie the Poo – Foreign Minister

    I am planning the rest of the line up….

    • Anonymouse Coward

      Where would you slot Megan Woods amongst this mob of self-referencing over achievers?

    • AnonWgtn

      You are assuming Annette king will not retire well before the election in time for a bye election and let Helen Kelly have Rongotai.

  • Col

    2014 Election 69 seats to National, may be more.

  • Richard McGrath

    I wonder if the testicle-twisting UK Labour Whip referred to in the quote was an ex-trade union thug…

  • conwaycaptain

    Watching the 3 Stooges or the Three Amigos cavorting around NZ it reminds me of the Blood Feuds in Macbeth or Romeo and Juliet. I am afraid the Scottish Play and the Montagus and Capulets having nothing on the doings in dark corners of these three as they try and stitch up the leadership.
    But whoever wins they will have to give their Pound of Flesh as in the Merchant of Venice.
    Of course they are bribing everyone with OUR money not theirs.

    • Bunswalla

      Three households, all alike in lack of dignity
      In fair New Zealand where we lay our scene
      From ancient grudge break to new mutiny
      Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

  • James

    Whips are about as anti-democratic as you can get within a democracy. They are the reason that everybody believes politicians to be spineless cowards – more interested in climbing the ladders and brown nosing their bosses than in representing the views of the people who voted for them.
    The only people who should be whipped to vote along the party lines are scum list MPs as they represent nobody but their party bosses. All other MPs should vote with their conscience on all votes – after all it is those beliefs that their electorates decided best represented them.