Whaleoil’s Rules of Politics as they pertain to David Cunliffe

Labour may as well get their mind on another three week leadership race, because David Cunliffe’s not going to make it to the election (as I predicted not long ago).

1. David, if you are explaining, you are losing

2. Utu is good, even necessary, but you stuffed that up as well

3. For your ‘friends’ and colleagues: Never hug a corpse – it smells and you end up smelling like the corpse too

4. Always know where the bodies are buried – especially if they are your own

5. Don’t let mongrels get away with being mongrels – it’s happening now.  ABC is still a happenin’ thing.

6. Don’t mess with The Whale or Cactus Kate

7. Never wrestle with pigs, two things are for certain if you do. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.

8. Never ask a question if you don’t already know the answer

9. Speak plain, Speak Simple

10. Remember, I’m telling this story

11. Never trust a politician if you aren’t close enough to them to hit them in the back of the head with a bit of 4×2

12. Never trust a politician with a moustache or a hyphenated name


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