A word of advice for Labour’s new leader

Whoever wins needs to take the sword to disloyalty

Whoever wins needs to take the sword to disloyalty

I’ve been watching the Labour leadership tussle with interest. Since it is Friday the 13th it is time for some hard hitting advice.

It is obvious to all that there are problems inside of Labour. When my good friend Brian Edwards thinks the prospects of peace are slim then there really is no hope.

I haven’t yet managed to get around to all my Labour sources, or to talk extensively with left commentators but one thing is for certain.

No matter who wins the caucus is still going to be divided, the party is similarly fractured, perhaps more so.

If David Cunliffe wins the caucus will just white-ant him. They really hate his guts and with the changes that are promised for support in getting him across the line then people like Trevor Mallard and Chris Hipkins are going to get rinsed. They will not take kindly to that, especially when they see Iain Lees-Galloway appointed to Chief Whip. 

If Robertson wins then the membership will unhinge. It will be nasty and spiteful like nothing you have ever seen. Which will actually be funny since they have been touting all this democracy…the only reason they believe in members democracy for choosing the leader is because they believe that Cunliffe will win. Watch their desire for democracy evaporate when if Robertson jacks up the win.

Who ever wins though should follow this little piece of sage advice.

He needs to push everyone that doesn’t support him onto the back-benches.  Have a personal meeting with each.  “You’re either with me, or against me.  You have 48 hours to decide, when I need your answer.  Not being with me means you’ll be a back-bencher and lying to me and being found out means you will have me actively working to ruin your life.  Any questions?  Good – see you in two days”.

If they don’t do that then they are screwed, sooner rather than later.

I can certainly see a Mike Moore style takeover close to next years election with the ABC’s knifing Cunliffe and installing Shane Jones as a last ditch Hail Mary pass. It won’t work but it will be fun watching.


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  • Whafe

    This is no surprise, when a group of people have no acceptance and ability to have civil debate amonsgt themselves to work through the issues within, and there are many, you get a result within the party like now….
    I feel nothing for them… Without unity, Labour is nothing, and the more they deny it, the worse it will be…
    A slow bleeding death, where by the populous loses all feeling and care for them.
    SUFFER I say

    • Positan

      Without unity, Labour is nothing …”
      Labour has never, ever been more than NOTHING – with or without unity!

      • Whafe

        Trying to be a little subtle….. You know my thinking is that they have never been more than NOTHING… :D

  • fastcompany

    many labour mp’s refer to their public service as a “career” or as being a “professional politician”. this is indicative of a fundamental problem in the party. being an mp is not a career or a professional job. it is a service that should be reserved for elite performers (business, social, etc) that want to give something back, not as a job that pays the mortgage.

    • Patrick

      It’s a philosophy that comes through from the union background. Being the union delegate or shop steward means you get to mix with the workers but don’t have to get your hands dirty anywhere near as much as the rest. They put themselves forward as representatives as it means they can put themselves into a dictatorial position, organise plenty of meetings, contribute little to the well being of the company paying the wages & all the while engineer well rewarded positions for yourself. Go through the Labour Party MPs, plenty conform to this, ask yourself how many have measurable achievements that have enhanced NZ Inc. Few & far between. In fairness there are plenty of MPs from all parties that score pretty low.

  • middleagedwhiteguy


    Letting ideology triumph over pragmatism since 2008.

    Watching this from the outside, I have a new respect for Helen Clark. Keeping that rabble focused for so long without fragmenting may be seen in a historical context as the best political management job in NZ history.

    I still don’t agree with her politics, but she kept the fringes in check while the government at least attempted to focus on the big issues.

    • johnbronkhorst

      They were afraid of her, still are!!

      • Hazards001

        Who isn’t?
        My kids never get out of bed because I tell them if they do the she beast will come and take their toys and nice things and give them to the kids in Manurewa.

        Of course they think Manurewa is a nightmare fairy tale place…..which of course..

      • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

        John Key is afraid of Curryleaf.

  • blokeintakapuna

    There’s gonna be lots of Labour people having to eat a dead rat and poo sandwich very soon…and the funny bit will be watching them eat it in front of the cameras attempting to portray their sandwich as a caviar smorgasbord.

    Pass the popcorn, pull up a comfy chair, get ya self a beer and watch the fireworks!

    • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

      Feel sorry for you. They are united. They will take down Key. Rogue Morgan poll has given them a shot in the arm.

  • Phil

    I can’t wait to see the result and can’t decide who I want to win most. Silent-T and the sight of sad old loser Mallard relegated to the back bench having to resort further to obscure irrelevant points of order just so he can get his name in Hansard or The Stranded exploding with incandescent rage if Robinson and the ABC can stitch up 50.01%. Off to buy an extra big bag of pop corn!

  • Whafe

    Yep, next week the Cluster-Fuck that is NZ Labour could almost win an award for an internal explosion within……

  • cows4me

    These mos well get it over and done with and split into the various factions. They’re obviously not going to do any good with a leader that most won’t want. They are just fooling themselves and prolonging the pain, brand Labia is fucked.

  • Mr Sackunkrak

    No matter what the result is, it’s going to turn out very ugly. Should be fun to watch.

    • Garbageman

      speaking of ugly maybe if silent t wore a mask like jasons (photo) he might grab a few more votes although that would still mean stitching his flapping lying lips together

  • middleagedwhiteguy

    No matter who wins, we are going to have a lot of coverage of smiling pollies saying that they will pledge their support to the new leader….

    just like last time…….

    • johnbronkhorst

      and they called Key the “smiling assassin”

  • Liberty

    Labours “our people” will vote Cunliffe but Robertson
    will win because one or two pinko academics control the central committee.

    Animal Farm has been around for some time and yet Labours “our
    People” get sucked in time and time again. Is it blind obedience or are they
    just thick?
    Looks like old Cunliffe is destined for the knacker’s yard.

  • Dan

    “Watch their desire for democracy evaporate when if Robertson jacks up the win.”

    IfRobertson jacks up the win, then it won’t be the desire for democracy evaporating, it will be the desire for democracy consolidating. Otherwise, good post.

  • Bryan

    what is going to happen is they are going to come out to Tell the nation their Big decision!!! on Sunday and Team NZ Boat race Win is going to blow them off the news front in fact everyone will be so into that they will not even register that they have a New leader regardless of which of wombles they choose

  • AnonWgtn

    If the Unions appoint Cunliffe then the Caucus will appoint Robertson – they appoint the deputy.
    That will stuff any future – just what Helen Kelly et al (if you can see him) want so the Unions can take over the Labour Party after 2014.

    • Hazards001

      The Unions formed and are the Labour party. I loathe the modern Unions but I don’t have a problem with them taking their party back from the poofs, ponce’s academics and sanctimonious Chardonnay Socialists that are running the ship onto the rocks at the moment. It will still be a complete omnishambles but maybe some of the elite troughers will see some of their own blood on the floor.
      All in all I’m happily watching the fun with my popcorn and beer.

      • Steve (North Shore)

        The Unions are diseased with the same people. The current Labour Party is not what it was 20 or more years ago.
        Just freeloaders now

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Day dreaming uncle Whale. My Labour insiders cite Rogue Morgan poll as an example and told me that Labour is already sitting the in the treasury benches. Their internal polling has shown that Labour can touch 40% in the next couple of months. It is a matter of another 12-14 months (or even less if Maori party and Done deal Dunne pull the plug). So they have now decided to shut their mouth, zip their pants and support Curryleaf to the hilt. They also told me that Curryleaf is goint to get the majority vote in caucus to demonstrate to NZ that Labour is united now.

    Rolly Polly will be appointed as Curryleaf’s deputy and Pornsy will be the finance spokesman. United they are going to take Key down. So you better start to advise Key about the next National Leader trying to win the election in 2023.

    I also understand that the next One News/TV3 polls will be showing Curryleaf in the high 20s as a preferred PM.

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    People are joining Labour party in droves. They tell me that Curryleaf reminds them of Martin Luther King…..

    • James Growley

      Can we all come around to your place and get some of that stuff you are smoking…