The Greens are going to hate this guy

The Greens hate almost everyone, but they are going to hate Owen Paterson even more after he insulted Morris dancers.

He has already incurred the wrath of badger lovers, environmentalists and opponents of GM foods. However, Owen Paterson, the Environment Secretary, discovered that he has a new enemy – Morris dancers.

Mr Paterson earlier this month said that he would apply a “Morris dancing filter” to ensure that European Union money would not be spent on inappropriate schemes under the reformed Common Agricultural Policy.

His comments have angered the Treacle Eater Clog troupe of Morris dancers who have now demanded an apology from the Cabinet Minister for making “derogatory” comments about their hobby. 

Speaking at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester Mr Paterson said: “What I also want to put in place is what I call a Morris dancing filter. There have been mistakes in the past and I want to make absolutely sure they are good schemes that deliver good worthwhile projects that are good for the economy and good for the environment.”

The Farmers Guardian has now disclosed that a group of Morris dancers has written to the Environment Secretary expressing their sadness over his comments.

Julia Catovsky, secretary of the group of Morris dancers, based in Somerset, wrote: “Many of our members have been Morris dancers for 30-plus years and we are saddened that you have used the term ‘Morris Dancer filter’ in this derogatory manner to imply wasting funds on inappropriate rural projects.”

She added: “The 10,000-plus Morris dancers in this country of all ages and from a wide range of backgrounds, both rural and urban, receive no funding from either the UK government or the EU subsidy in pursuance of our minority sport.

“We feel that Morris dancing is an important part of our British heritage and that this term sheds a negative light on an activity which is enjoyed by a large number of people, causes no environmental damage and is often in support of charitable causes.

“Please would you find another term to promote your better use of UK Government/EU subsidy? An apology for what may at best have been a clumsy choice of words would seem appropriate.”


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • williamabong

    There’s actually more than 10,000 of these weirdos out there, I bet there Xmas piss up are just so much fun.

  • W.Austin

    Why do Morris dancers wear bells? So they can annoy blind people as well.

    • Col

      So the bears can find them!!!

  • thor42

    It simply goes to show that those Morris dancers have no sense of humour.

  • Kopua Cowboy

    Belly laugh of the day, what a good bastard!

  • Dick Brown

    This Owen Paterson sounds like an ignoramus. Morris dancing is a massive part of English history and to consign it to some sociopath spouting political platitudes is cultural terrorism plain and simple.

    Records of Morris dancing begin in 1448 in Britain; and its thought it was around long before then. In reality, the dance is a military exercise drill performed with weapons (some Morris dancers perform with swords to this day)

    My 2c

    • Goldie

      Morris dancing: ” In reality, the dance is a military exercise drill performed with weapons .”
      Laugh of the day.

      I’ve met Owen Patterson – he is actually a bloody good bloke – self-made man, farmer, very clever no bullshit sort of guy.

  • Col

    I thought they were drying there laundry when I first saw them. Very Green do you think?

  • Hazards001

    I hope like hell this bloke has the nut’s to tell them to shove their apology where the sun refuses to shine. And good on him!

    Snivelling whining bitches. Seems the world is full of them and the newspapers want to hear from them.

    Give me a break!