An Ode to Len

Len Brownvia the tipline

An Ode to Auckland’s Mayor or #GoAgainLen

Len Brown, the winner in last week’s election

had his mandate blown by his own erection.

 

Sweet and Sour Pork and Two-Minute Noodles

about Mayor Brown we now know oodles.

 

On the desk and on the chair

this Mayor has done it everywhere.

Good Christian Husband we were sold

dirty rooter we’re now told.

 

Who would have thought a girl called Bevan

could turn the Mayor away from heaven.

 

Kia Ora this, Talofa that

we thought that Len knew where it’s at.

 

With a heartfelt Waiata he’s always been able

So why, dear Len did you shag on a table?

 

Hallowed space of the Ngati Whatua Room

is not the place for pounding poon.

 

Surprising for Auckland to find Len’s preference

was for rooting those he gave a reference.

 

Free nights at SKY City were a terrible gamble

not worth your career for a quick lusty scramble.

 

“Playing the Pokies” now has a new meaning

With naughty Lenny’s now public double-dealing.

 

The Central Rail Loop could come unstuck,

All because of the Mayor’s now famous F***

 

So Len your mandate we must re-test,

#GoAgainLen – it’s for the best.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

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