The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse needs your help

William Tapley, also known as the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and the co-Prophet of the End Times, needs your help.

Apparently he “has to build a website” as instructed in the Book of Daniel…Jesus is anti-paperless office! Who knew? 

We mustn’t forget about the bible prophecies int he Russian Olympic mascots…

 


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • thor42

    Well, if he can use his apocalyptic powers to get rid of the Muslims, that’d be good. The world would be much better off without Islam.

    • James Growley

      Mankind would have been and still would be, better off without religion, full stop.

      • thor42

        True.

      • thor42

        True.

      • opusx

        A few years back there was a global threat to first world religion…it was called AMWAY. Like religion it made those at the top a ton of cash, like religion followers lapped it up like sheep, like religion it made blind promises of a better life. The only reason AMWAY ultimately failed was it didn’t have a decent mascot , with Jesus at the helm religion always had one over them.

      • opusx

        A few years back there was a global threat to first world religion…it was called AMWAY. Like religion it made those at the top a ton of cash, like religion followers lapped it up like sheep, like religion it made blind promises of a better life. The only reason AMWAY ultimately failed was it didn’t have a decent mascot , with Jesus at the helm religion always had one over them.

        • James Growley

          Yes, but AMWAY did not promise an “after-life”…………

        • James Growley

          Yes, but AMWAY did not promise an “after-life”…………

        • andrew carrot

          Bernie Madoff was pretty charismatic, he had a bunch of singularly focused apostles, and his brethren gave everything they had to acquire entry into a gold-lined heaven. So good so far. But these brain-washed fools didn’t go around torching the opposition, so maybe they weren’t part of a religion? I’m confused…

      • andrew carrot

        I have always supported the banning of religion. But as I’m an arms dealer, with children to feed and school, and a wife with expensive tastes, I can’t always practice what I preach.

  • opusx

    Here,s a prophecy for ya Mr Tapley, you are going to die alone as you head to the big black…and the world will carry on without you and your so called apocalyse.

  • Lion_ess

    Scary thing though is that this idiot has followers. Amazing how easy it is to suck in those who fear to question totally illogical, unprovable bullshit.

    • opusx

      It’s really just another form of networking…most humans need to socialise. The actual reason you’re there becomes secondary. This is just a knitting group with a different title.

    • opusx

      It’s really just another form of networking…most humans need to socialise. The actual reason you’re there becomes secondary. This is just a knitting group with a different title.

  • cows4me

    Good on him, the world needs idiots. How can we judge what is sane unless we have a few crazies.

  • cows4me

    Good on him, the world needs idiots. How can we judge what is sane unless we have a few crazies.

    • opusx

      Interesting that people hearing voices in their head telling them to harm others are committed to psyche wards, but people claiming to hear the voice of Jesus or God are allowed to carry on roaming free in the world…just saying.

    • opusx

      Interesting that people hearing voices in their head telling them to harm others are committed to psyche wards, but people claiming to hear the voice of Jesus or God are allowed to carry on roaming free in the world…just saying.

    • Mr_Blobby

      Not to mention that some village somewhere is missing its idiot.

  • Rodger T

    I`m still curious about what happened to the first and second eagles,did their heads disappear up their own arses?

  • Rodger T

    I`m still curious about what happened to the first and second eagles,did their heads disappear up their own arses?

    • opusx

      1.God, 2.Jesus, 3.Mr Tapley.

    • opusx

      1.God, 2.Jesus, 3.Mr Tapley.

      • Mr_Blobby

        What super powers does this Muppet have. Put me in for turning water into wine.

  • Sidey

    You’d think if a prophet is being sent to us by some deity, they would at least pick someone with a cool name.
    William Tapley just doesn’t resonate – sounds more like a local greengrocer.

  • Bunswalla

    It was only a matter of time before this religious fruit-cake put his hand out. They all do, sooner or later.

  • Rodger T

    Bill Tapley , giving ol` L Ron a run for his money,

  • Red

    Someone pls send him a Dollar Eighty for another crappy microphone. What a beggar. Pathetic

40%