L is for Labour

I see the Labour party have been out harassing locals in Christchurch at the weekend. Labour dedicated a considerable amount of resources during a national conference to try and boost their by election chances.  Announcing regional policies that happen to suit a by-election and not the rest of NZ.

Pumped by a rousing speech from David Cunliffe, more than 300 Labour Party faithful staged a mini-invasion of Christchurch’s east – an electorate they are desperate to retain in this month’s by-election.

Five buses – red of course – transported the volunteers, including party candidate Poto Williams, from their national conference in Wigram across the city to Parklands for a concentrated 40-minute door-knocking offensive. The mood in the camp was decidedly buoyant.

They had just heard Cunliffe deliver a stirring speech aimed at inspiring volunteers to first retain the seat long held by former Labour MP Lianne Dalziel and then to set their sights on winning the 2014 general election.

With Cunliffe’s rhetoric ringing in their ears, the groups hit their straps, armed with maps, the names of residents and a fresh determination to get Williams elected.

A reader emails:

I could think of nothing worse than having my Sunday afternoon ruined by having a Labour politician darkening my door so rather than rather than attending to the garden we toddled off and had a very long lunch. 

Reminds me of this video from Harry Enfield:

I wonder when Glenn Conway will be doing a puff piece on the National candidate?


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  • Toryboy

    40 minutes? hahahahaha!!

    300 people canvassing, say, 10 people in that time – 3000 in total, it would give them a good indication of how well they are doing.

    If they were 60/40 ahead they would be shouting it from the rooftops – their silence is deafening on what the canvass results actually indicated.

    • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

      Poto is poised to win 70% of the polled votes…So Toryboy get back to your day dreaming….

      • Toryboy

        Larry Sutherland, Mary Batchelor, Jock Matheison, Dan Sullivan could win 70% of the votes in this electorate – and usually did – but Poto will not.

        I am well aware nobody has the faintest idea who the seemingly universally popular Sutherland, Batchelor, Matheison and Sullivan were, but you get the idea – for 30 elections they could put up 4 donkeys nobody had ever heard of…. and get 70% of the votes.

        I also very much doubt Labour knocked on doors between 1925 and 2008 in this electorate.

        Today you need to send bus loads of activists to knock on doors in desperation.

        To put it into some sort of context – if National suddenly found Clutha Southland was marginal it may occur to someone in the National party they were on the wrong track.

        Avon/Christchurch East is marginal and Labour adopts weirdo policies and thinks “we have gone back to our roots”


        • Arnie

          Anything less than 70% in that electorate for Labour will be classed as a failure even John Key admits that National won’t win.

          • Bryan

            well don’t know there have been so many labour voters moved away from the area it will be an interesting result there is about 6000 gone from the area and the houses as well so maybe they are down to signing up rats and rabbits

  • Patrick

    L is for Liars
    L is for Laughable
    L is for Liability
    L is for Len Brown

    • Ronnie Chow

      Lost in space
      About to tell a whopper
      Back to deficits
      Off the mark on everything
      Up themselves
      Red plus green equals Brown , your worst nightmare

    • mick le prick

      L is for Losers

  • Agent BallSack

    L is for Labours launch labels Lens lolly lickable.

  • Agent BallSack

    LMFAO at that video. Gonna spam that come election time

  • Pete

    LOL..I still reckon Enfield’s black and white “Warner Pathe” style news items are the funniest things I’ve seen.

    • middleagedwhiteguy

      I love the association football one….

    • middleagedwhiteguy

      and this one is very apt given the new gender quota.

  • Mr Sackunkrak

    I think we’ve identified the source of the bad smell in Christchurch.

  • Ronnie Chow

    “The mood in the camp was decidedly buoyant.”

    That’s because they consider themselves above the poor fools that they are platitudinizing to . Legal highs no doubt .

    • Agent BallSack

      Imagine being swarmed by a half drunk Labour caucus. The guy who got attacked by bees got off lightly.

      • Mr_V4

        They’ve been on it a while id say.

    • PhantomsDoc

      Shit floats

  • Dick Brown

    Harry Enfield is a genius

  • Pete

    The working class

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    “Pumped by a rousing speech from David Cunliffe” – Curryleaf is mania is sweeping NZ….I understand people from across the country want Curryleaf to visit their towns to give them pep talks…..National you are done and dusted….

    • Ronnie Chow

      Neil Kinnock’s famous speech to the Labour Party Conference, Bournemouth, October 1985 , on impossible promises.

  • Wine Man

    The following come to mind with this….
    1. Lets hope tissues were ready for any Len imitators when knocking on doors
    2. Locals hid their porn collection from Shane Jones supporters
    3. Locals ensured their house was sexually diverse with at least 50% female (I see a child trading opportunity here)
    4. Rotten fruit was at the ready when they answered the door and the labour member said ‘Trick or Treat’
    5. Brown shirts went out of fashion in 1945
    6. Red shirts went out of fashion in 1989

  • Red

    But… but….. Potos’ already won!?? Time travel seems to help somewhat …. (You’ll die laffing at this….) “Poto Williams (born 1961/1962) is a Member of Parliament for the New Zealand Labour Party who was first elected in the 2013 Christchurch East by-election.”

    • Toryboy

      A bit odd she cannot remember when she was born; was it 1961 or 62?

      I am presuming it was not 11:59pm on New Years eve 1961 and by the time the Doctor looked at his watch it was 12:02am and he couldn’t quite make up his mind as to how old the baby was – “Nurse, is it under or over 2 minutes?”

      So why is Labour fudging the age of their candidate?

      What else about Poto are they fudging?

      What is going on here?

    • Whanga_Cynic

      Just been in and edited that lie out. Be interesting to see if anyone puts it back before the election.

  • Day Day

    Did they really go door knocking, or were they out for KFC?

  • Allan

    A quick shout of “get the fuck off my property!” quickly followed by a very large German Shepard running to see which politician is for lunch :D