Even Christmas isn’t safe from the lefties peddling their mythology

God loves a trier, and The Guardian is certainly trying and stretching with this article from Larry Elliot where he tries to tie Santa and Christmas into his socialist horror story about capitalism.

Up in the frozen north, it’s the busiest time of the year. At the world’s biggest toy production and distribution centre, the workforce is under pressure to fill the long list of outstanding orders to meet the Christmas Eve deadline. Outside, the snow lies crisp and deep and even, but inside Santa’s workshop the pace never slackens.

Actually, workshop is a misnomer. It was the rebranding consultants who came up with the idea of a “workshop” after a whistleblower revealed that Santa’s little helpers were underpaid, overworked and suffering from a range of stress-related illnesses. The workshop is actually the world’s biggest warehouse, millions of square feet of aisles filled with toy trains, books and computer games.  

The idea of the elf sitting happily at a workbench carefully stitching together a teddy bear is for the history books. These days, the average member of the workforce will walk 15 miles a night collecting toys from far-flung corners of Santa’s shed and can expect a rollocking if their pace slackens.

Much else has changed in this far-flung corner of Lapland in the past 30 years. Back then, the workforce was full-time, saw their pay go up each year and could look forward to a pension based on their final salary. Today, all but a handful of supervisor elves are on zero-hour contracts, pay has failed to keep pace with rising inflation for the past five years, and there are no pensions. Elves who turn down shifts to look after sick children or to attend school plays are blacklisted; pay is docked for those who turn up more than two minutes late for work.

So what are the unions doing about this? “Ho, ho, ho,” roars Santa. “We haven’t had unions here since the great elf strike of 1984-5. Went on for a year that dispute did. Touch and go it was at times. Fortunately, we had seen it coming and stockpiled plenty of toys. Some of the elves carried on working and we had the strong backing of the government. Unions have never been allowed in the place since.”

Here then, at the northern-most extremity of the globe is the flexible labour market in practice. The company says productivity and profitability have improved as a result of new working practices. It says zero-hour contracts are vital given the seasonal nature of the business and that jobs will be lost if the government bows to pressure for curbs on their use.

It goes on and on in an anti-capitalist tirade.

He of course never mentions the companies that unions have destroyed…Holden, Ford, almost all of Detroit’s industry, Twinkies….the list is as long as the unemployment queues caused by union greed and short-sightedness.

I came to the conclusion years ago that socialists lack wit, humour and enjoyment…they are without doubt the most miserable people on the planet, despite the abundance that surrounds them.

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.