Found on the steps of Parliament…

by blokeintakapuna


To Do List…


  • Clean BBQ Have unions get ACC to provide new, 9 burner BBQ for “food safety” training. Need new outdoor furniture etc also “Sun safety”

  • Ask Fenton to sweet talk the Mad Butcher for a discount deal… and maybe some Warrior tickets / Corporate box hospitality – maybe even an election donation?

  • Ask Norman to visit Aussie Butcher if Fenton unsuccessful. Take Jones with him so the Aussie doesn’t steal our food and donations to feed OUR voters at HIS Barbeque with OUR food!

  • Ask Trev about scoring cheap free Warriors tickets on TradeMe if Fenton fails again (maybe even some lovely longerie neglejay frilly things for the missus since GrabOne hasn’t had a special)

  • Sort invites for Labour’s summer BBQ series. Note to self – DON’T invite arseholes this year! (Except useful idiots like Rudman & Campbell)

  • Buy single-serve BBQ pack if Fenton unsuccessful with really mad butcher

  • Invite Norman and Turei for lunchtime BBQ – hand out sun screen – then remind them it’s petrochemical based! Hilarious! Get pics – leverage.

  • Stockpile some 2 minute noodles for when Len visits. Get pics – leverage  

  • Sort more coconuts for coconut shy if Fenton fails on donations again

  • Get more casks of Chardonnay / pallet load – the coven are always thirsty at BBQ season

  • Convince Kelly to try for Parliament – refresh talent line-up with credibility

  • Define and cost policies Invent new topics or industries to have a “Crisis” Coordinate with Rudman/Herald and Campbell. Re-run past sob story people

  • Buy shares in Chorus once at the right price

  • Sort KiwiParty leadership once and for all – it’s getting ridiculous now, even the Mana Party are asking if we want any help with credible leadership!

  • Remove Kevin Rudd, Dame Edna, Kath & Kim and Ronald McDonald from Christmas card list – Bugger ‘em! If they won’t join us, they can’t expect a card!

  • Ask Len to loan us or sub-let his miracle workers/ spin doc’s at election time? (Noodle pics – get some ACC “safety training” grants for the unions)

  • Sort holiday accommodation and an interpreter for Len – (more pics)

  • Commit to be seen with Len at Auckland Santa Parade – then send Fenton

  • Has Shearer & Roofus Paynter got that bloody GCSB tape yet?

  • Invite Norman to take over all leadership of KiwiParty? Position it that it would streamline leadership of both KP and Greens, eliminate messy, internal leadership battle for Greens, face save instead of face palm for Norman, united front going into next years war battle? Perceptions matter!

  • Or, dissolve KiwiParty and over-stuff NZLP with the abundant talent?

  • See Turei for some more of her cousins organic oregano calming tea

  • See if SkyCity will send us some of those yummy little canapés

  • See what’s on the specials board at Bellamy’s?

  • Have Shearer learn more than just bloody Kumbaya on guitar!

  • Remind everyone we’re on a “war footing” – perceptions matter!

  • Disconnect twitter before Christchurch by election

  • Be seen and photographed with new Tie the gals knitted me



  • As leader, shouldn’t I also have a #HeyClint?  It could be like the Emergency Doctor in the new Star Trek series – there when we need one! Besides, the Greens can’t have all the #HeyClint’s AND a Doctor… AND our voters! (Weird – Norman’s shouting “Give me back my leadership” when he’s not shouting “Give me back my flag” or “This calls for an Enquiry” and we’re shouting “Give us back our voters!) (( At least we both still have the socialist brotherhood mantra in common of “Give me… Give me… Give me”))


  • Find out why Len is spending a few nights on everyone’s spare sofa bed? Is he trying to steal some of our abundant talent? Looking for new excuse ideas? Still trying to root, shoot or boot anything that moves? Or hoping for a List MP slot? Or running the numbers for a coup? Does he have the numbers? Wish I still had the numbers! Wish I had the Lotto numbers even– not that I need them living in Herne Bay no less… and with a tax payer funded teat in each side of the mouth – and I can still talk out both sides too!


  • Encourage a “cross-cultural pollination leadership sabbatical/swap” with Auckland’s sister-city of Toronto? Although, I’ve never been much of a Ford fan myself. I prefer Holden’s! Might save Len from getting the numbers and trying for a leadership spill?


  • Sort strategy session with SCS re these perplexing matters.

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.