“…condescending piece of drivel…”

ACC rates process

ACC rates process

Hi again Cam,

Am I the only person in Auckland to be offended by this condescending piece of drivel from the council, exhorting me to set up a direct debit for my rates on the premise that all ratepayers are incompetent and late payers?

Like hell they are getting my money before the date it is due or having unlimited access to my banking.

What a liberty insinuating that ratepayers are going to come up with a ‘dog ate my homework excuse’ for not paying up.

Everyone I know in this city is struggling to foot the bill for very basic services and the dubious privilege of having a pillock at the helm.

Who the hell authorized this smart-arsed advertising smarm? ?

As you can see from the bottom of my email I am an illustrator. If I had the time I would do my own version of this on the easy way or hard way of being the Mayor of Auckland.

But I don’t have time, cause I’m busy working my butt off to support our kids and pay our rates, cause one income in our household isn’t enough.

But if I did have time, my diagram would go something like this:

Being the Mayor – the Easy Way. Do your job, be fiscally responsible, keep rates affordable and services available = Bingo, everyone is happy!

…and the Hard Way (in no particular order). Lie. Cheat. Have sex with ?underlings in the town hall. Refuse to pay for an inquiry into your own woeful conduct. Lie some more. Get the spin doctors on the job. Lie. Fire the spin doctors. Grow a thicker skin. Defraud ratepayers. Overspend. Whip out the credit card. Book a room at sky city. Fly to Hong Kong. Sext your mistress. Lie some more. Block official information requests. Divert attention. Turn up where you are not wanted. Re-hire the spin doctors. Parade wife and kids to the media. Write a reference. Wank under your desk. Sulk. Pull your pants up too far. Generally piss everyone off. Get extra security. Blame the missus. Borrow more money. Bankrupt the city. Refuse to resign. Suck up to Wellington. Alienate your voting base. Line your pockets. Raise rates – again and again. Empire build. Break promises. Lie. Smear. Downplay. Avoid. Have a lunchtime quickie. Have no shame. Keep the driver waiting. Work 24/7. Moot a poll tax. Invent statistics. Enjoy family time. Play with the train set. Refuse to do interviews. Hide. Sneak. Drop your pants. Lie, Lie, Lie = Be a total a-hole that everyone wants rid of!

The list goes on and on, I’m sure you can add to it – in my diagram I think there would be just too many arrows to fit on one third of a DLE.

But as I say… I’m too busy working to pay for this idiot to be Mayor. Perhaps SonovaMin could do something with it!