Court Reporting From The Public Gallery – Circus In High Court #6

The circus at High Court #6 this next fortnight is a disgrace to the legal profession and a terrible advertisement for the art of litigation.

From the dead cat wearing rates avoider Penny Bright to the feral in front of me in the public gallery wearing socks with his jandals and track pants, I cannot help feeling sorry for John Banks having to put up with his career and legacy tried in front of a bunch of rabble. I do not particularly like John Banks as a politician, but no one deserves this.

It is no surprise Banks didn’t go for trial by jury.  The people in the gallery attracted to the case are not and never have been his peers.  They appear a sublime mix of potential admissions requiring treatment for compulsive mental conditions.  Court groupies.

At adjournments we have the ridiculous scenario of media invading over the courtroom floor casually interacting with the Crown QC dare I say it giving him some tips after a reasonably limp performance to date, members of the public gallery often talking sometimes even while the Judge is speaking, a compulsive cap wearer and then there is career law-spotter Joe Karam.  I cannot work out if Karam is there for Dotcom’s eventual deportation or Banks if he is wrongly found guilty after delivering a morning of direct mail.   

Campbell Live rattled off nonsense conspiracy theories about the GCSB in the middle of the trial. Coincidence? I think not.  Thank heavens the Judge lives in a parallel universe where he had to stop and ask what a bank drop box was.  Fortunately the New Zealand public realise that we need spies so do not care about GCSB consipracies.  No better example why than the public gallery at courtroom #6.  A fair few probably believe in 9/11 conspiracies and that the State places GPS chips in our heads from birth.  Lou Vincent and Chris Cairns have not helped batting away these conspiracy theories this week.  I often wondered at times if Michelle Boag was paid in diamonds by bookies at i-predict thrown in that large Louis Vuitton bag to go slow.  Hers was the most professional evidence of the witnesses.  She knows what the term “one sentence too many” means.  Kim Dot Com rattled off his criminal hacking past as if what he did was as common as breathing is to the rest of us. He managed to name drop Helmut Kohl.

I don’t quite know what trial the spotty Herald reporters have been watching but their headlines conflict often markedly with what is actually happening in the Court room.  The media are telling a delightful story of their own. Indeed the press box is packed with children not far out of pull ups. Often the public gallery are all chucked out as we go into Chambers.   Evil camera perv Simon Runting and underlings wait outside to pap the circus clowns arriving for their performance in the ring.  Rates avoider Bright is allowed to harangue witnesses right down to the Hyatt Hotel.  It is a scenario that awaits a Steve Braunias column.

And David Fisher nice punk for informing the rates avoider Bright I was in attendance.  The only ray of sunshine was that I got to say to her face what I had previously published.  I don’t think she’s ever experienced that before.

There is a first and a last time for everything.

I revert quietly back to trust law and leave the litigation for those who appreciate the worst sort of Shakespeare.


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