Always nice to hear from people (AKA: Friday mailbag)


From: Johannes Larsen <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, Dec 11, 2014 at 7:33 PM
Subject: Whale Oil Contact submission
To: [email protected]

Name: Johannes Larsen

Email: [email protected]

Message: What a heartless and cruel response to the City Missions help
to needy people.

You probably don’t give a shit about what my opinion is; you are simply

too stupid. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.


I hope you will suffocate in youir xmas dinner!


But at least I will have paid for the dinner, instead of driving from Hamilton to Auckland to sponge off the goodwill of others.




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  • old dad

    Hmmm, the stupid is strong in this one.
    Nice to know that, based on the logic presented, wishing someone to “suffocate in your xmas dinner” is now something nice, I shall use this compliment often.
    It must be the ultimate in masochism to continually read a blog you obviously don’t enjoy and then provide emotional commentary on it.
    ‘Tis the season!!

  • Cadwallader

    Well, he got one thing right….who gives a “shit” what he thinks?

  • Sagacious Blonde

    He obviously feels “practicing what you preach” is a tenet that need only apply to others.

    • Mick Ie

      Sadly isn’t this so typical of the lefts’ Mantra? The irony is higher than the IQ here. Very concerning considering he is educating our country’s future generation.

      • Excitedly awaiting Whodunnit

        LOL – IQ isnt a measure of common sense. Half the mensa members are idiots. I should know i do dumb stuff (ask wife) and i qualify for that group of clowns too.

  • LabTested

    After reading the story yesterday I was reflecting on why people needed Xmas parcels. One of the best Xmas days we had as a kid was a simple BBQ at the beach. Cost pack of sausages, loaf of bread, bottle of tomato sauce.

    We were so poor that the only present we got for Xmas for years on end was 1 book each year.

    • Michael_l_c

      A book, bet u learned to read as well. We won’t mention video games, sky etc.

      • LabTested

        It gave me a love of reading & taught me to value books. I have made sure that my kids got a book every Xmas & birthday

        • Reaper

          My 14 year old has asked for 2 books (and nothing else) for Xmas, and has helpfully provided a wishlist of 6 for me to choose from. I will probably go all out and get the whole lot, as I feel she is being very reasonable compared to most of her peers. And she really loves books, she will be rapt.

    • Cadwallader

      I guarantee that at least some of contents of those books have stayed with you. I recall stumbling on a few books when I was a child which left a mark. There was no TV then, TV arrived, I got tired of TV and now prefer to read again. Life is wonderfully cyclic.

    • intelligentes candida diva

      Beautiful Labtested just beautiful what a great memory for you.

      We grew up similarly and every year felt excited and grateful for what we recieved.
      It was (&remains for me) about the art of giving > what is the meaning behind giving.

      Books, love them, I just went & bought my annual supply for Christmas giving and was saying to someone they serve a multitude of wonderful purposes.

    • Papillon

      One of my favorite photos of my Dad as a kid is one taken at Christmas in the ’60s. In the photo he is proudly and happily displaying his presents, an inflatable swimming ring and an orange. Looks pleased as punch in it.

    • Bazza63

      Being poor we made do. One summer we went camping to a camp ground 1 mile down the road. Handy if you needed something from home.

  • A quick search reveals he shares his name with a North Shore social studies teacher.

    • Chris EM

      Unsurprising; inability to check own spelling, and makes up new words to get his point across.

    • WestieBob

      appears to coach the Rosmini first 11

      • conwaycaptain

        A Professor no less!!!

      • Notrotsky

        Perenial losers to Westlake.

    • Reaper

      And people ask me why I homeschool.

      • Wahbonnah

        you cant get detention at home school!!!

    • Timboh

      And refers to himself as a professor? At a school? They used to be called teachers in my day

      • Dave

        IF, the writer is the same person as the teacher, then god help the students. I for one would be insisting the letter writer was nowhere near any teaching position – that is IF, the teacher and the writer just happen to be the same person.

        I also note, despite your uttering, “he doesn’t give a >>>>”, he cares enough top make your feelings known, and accurately, and without editing, so there you go, honest journalism at its best, more than you will ever get at the Horrid Herald.

        PS: Merry Christmas and Happy new year to you Mr Johannes Larsen, whoever you are and whichever category you fit into, perhaps several……EASL letter writer, teacher, coach, socialist.

  • Michael

    I donate to a local poverty relief charity every Christmas, because there are people out there who need assistance because of unexpected events.

    But the paper yesterday was full of bludgers who turned up because they heard about food grants and food parcels via word of mouth and social media and thought, “I must get me some of that.” They didn’t try to economise or rely on something other than handouts.

    • You forgot the “and mum used to do it”

    • Brian of Mt Wellington

      I agree with your comment of ” Unexpected Events ” but with many of the ones turning up at the mission it looks like their Unexpected Event is a yearly event

      • Huia

        Plus the yearly event usually has a different father to the previous yearly event.

  • ozbob68

    “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”.

    So nice to see the Greens policy of “sticking your head in the sand” is catching on.

    • spanishbride

      Pity he didn’t follow his own advice LOL

  • cambridge01

    What brand of car can get you from Hamilton to Auckland and back on $20, I want one! I live in Cambridge, to Auckland and back is at least $50, she could have stayed home, gone to the Supermarket, paid for her food and had change.

    • Cadwallader

      I imagine that like most of NZ, Cambridge would be a good locale to grow vegetables?

    • Platinum Fox

      I wondered if the $20 was just for the trip from her mother’s place in South Auckland to the city and return and the ‘Tron to South Auckland legs were forgotten. Parking would be an additional cost as there’s no free parking near the City Mission.

  • Mr Larsen seems to have mistaken your contempt for Granny Herald’s repeated attempts to “pimp the poor” for criticism of the work of the Auckland City Mission. My wife and I actively support our own City Mission, which does a stellar job supporting those less fortunate than ourselves.

    But the examples the Herald chose yesterday simply reinforced all the negative stereotypes of those on benefits. It was an exceedingly shoddy piece of journalism, which was rightly criticised.

    • Justsayn

      Agree KS. One of two things is happening: either the Herald (and tabloid TV like Campbell live) deliberate select bad examples in order to diminish the problem of people who are struggling, or the Herald (and tabloid TV like Campbell live) are just too lazy to do any real journalism so simply echo stories provided to them by Labour and the Greens.

  • maninblack

    Sigh.. another teacher..
    que brainwashing kids in 3, 2, 1..

    • Kevin

      God help our youth if he is a teacher. No wonder teenagers can’t spell and use proper grammar.

  • Davo42

    Aesops fable “The World owes me a Living” should be compulsory for all kids in NZ, it would reduce our benefit rate by teaching the children lessons that deadbeats like johannes don’t have the capacity to grasp.

  • OT Richter

    Thanks to Johannes, I learnt a new word today.

    • burns_well_eh

      Yes, perhaps it’s a kind of three-way portmanteau word, combining forward, upward and backward?

  • intelligentes candida diva

    The email is almost laughable if the writers words had not been so personally ill willed. How embarrassing for the writer to have the email posted online when it is poorly written and oh so sanctimonious !!

    NB:I went back and read the post the writer is emailing about and cannot see anything offensive.
    Teasing out information to highlight the finer missed points:
    i.e. 1)Travel from Hamilton to Auckland on $20 is questionable, I agree 249.2k round trip…amazing fuel efficient vehicle or lies!
    2) Bringing the whole family up … I’m lost for words other than .huh!!!!
    3) A favourite topic of mine although I may be mistaken but it seems there was more than one or two on benefits continuing breeding while on benefits requiring this assistance ….. take note Minister of Social Development that needs addressed.

    Where is the dignity and self respect?

  • Tom


    I like this new word! It’s like a new direction or something. ”If we keep going f**kward, we’ll regret it”

    Possibly quantum however, which I don’t understand

    • Peter Maguire

      urban dictionary suggests Cam is quote: ”In the process of or heading toward the direction of being (f word)ed”

  • LesleyNZ

    Absolutely foul, scatty, silly, ill informed message to you Cam. Absolutely support the City Mission but not all the overweight and underweight opportunist bludgers that line up outside the City Mission to get freebies while citing their poverty. The NZ Herald needs to do some background checks on the people they choose to feature – then they would not look so stupid.

    • Kevin

      Free food to drunks so they can buy more beer.

  • Captain Darling

    How does one suffocate “in” ones xmas dinner? Unless you have a very large turkey.

    • Ratchette

      Get yourself full of vino & pass out face down into your sprouts & stuffing. I suspect this is Johannes Larsen’s annual party trick.

      • Captain Darling

        I do love sprouts.

    • spanishbride

      Photo ‘ hacked ‘ from Johannes’ Christmas album ;)

  • conwaycaptain

    I wonder if the Principal or BoT members at Rosmini have read it???

    • Notrotsky

      Unless people are sure they are one and the same we should probably not speculate, there is bound to be more than one johannes larsen in Auckland and trashing him on the back of one ill thought out email…… possibly sent in the haste of the moment is poor form.. even though I am an advocate of one owning one’s stupidity.

  • mike

    If you watched breakfast this morning you may have seen the bit about the “free shop” giving away Cafe food. Some of the people did not look hard done by.

  • Brian of Mt Wellington

    If they stopped popping out kids who have no fathers then they would not be in so called poverty.
    Where are the maori tribes who have been paid out millions in treaty settlements when it comes to supporting their whanau. Isn’t that what the money was for, the whole tribe not just a few who are being paid plenty out of the funds. Some of these people need to wake up or get a swift kick in the rear when it comes to breeding for the benefit.

  • Huia

    Yesterdays “grab as much as you can from the City Mission” by the well feed and opportunistic, puts the whole ‘goodwill to fellow man’ help the Mission gives to the truly needy, onto the danger list. Talk about bite the hand that feeds you but they are too stupid to see that. Something free so they stand on those truly in need to get their hand on the freebees then gloat about it to the media.
    Greedy, horrible people with the entitlement gene running at full strength.
    How many of them have got a vege garden? how many have pots of veges if living in a flat, how many have made any kind of effort to support themselves?
    To me that queue of grabbers shows exactly what is wrong in society today.
    The idiot email above is a joke really by someone who misses the point entirely but goes on the attack anyway.
    F***ward is awkward and sounds like a second language by someone who has fudged their credentials so they can live here.

    • Whitey

      I think you’ll find they don’t know how to cook veggies, never mind grow them. My experience of donating to the City Mission is that they don’t want canned veg, rice etc. as they say people don’t know how to cook it. Of course, the truth is they can’t be bothered to learn. It’s very easy to learn how to grow and cook our own food when you have an internet connection.

      • Some of the older women at our church run cooking classes for solo mums, the mentally ill, and others who have fallen through the cracks. Rather than just dishing out money to them, it is teaching them life skills, not to mention the benefit they get from the social interaction (and that goes both ways).

        To suggest that all beneficiaries are “takers” is as wrong as it is to suggest that all employers are “scumbags” and “rich pricks”. Wouldn’t it be nice if some journalists did their job and went looking for good stories?

        • Reaper

          Stories about such classes, perhaps including details of how they can be accessed, would certainly be more beneficial to these people (and indeed others who might have skills they would be willing to share).

  • cows4me

    “a cruel response” rubbish. I suspect what is cruel with WO’s post in regards to this “professor” is the challenge to the Liberal Agenda. Pimping the poor is just another means of advancing the cause of big government, the number one wet dream for these academics. If Mr Larsen can claim someone can drive from Hamilton to Auckland and back for a freebie and then claim these people are living in poverty then he either has rocks in his head or he’s pushing an agenda, I pick the latter.

  • Mav E Rick

    Mr Larsen sounds a very charitable guy. I wonder if he is a giver or a taker? Sorry about my sarcasm – I know that it is the lowest form of wit.

    It is the attitude of Mr Larsen that gives the takers a bad name. They are not grateful or gracious for what they are given, but see it as their right and therefore expect it. Anyone that would challenge the process are treated the way Cam has just been treated.

  • who’stoblame

    “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Hypocrite. Gosh, can only guess what side of the political spectrum he’s from.

  • Whitey

    I wonder if Mr Larsen even read the article. If he had, he’d know what it didn’t criticize the City Mission. It criticized people who take advantage of the City Mission’s efforts when they clearly do not need to. If you can afford to drive from Hamilton to Auckland, you can afford to buy groceries.

    Why is Mr Larsen not outraged by the people who are taking advantage of donations meant to help people in real need, then skiting about it to the media?

  • You have to admire some people and their tears of impotent rage and angst over the almost anything. I bet pounds to pennies that Johannes Larsen does not contribute to the city mission, charities, do volunteer work or have the first clue other then what he reads from the safety of his 3 up 3 down in a posh street.

  • Whitey

    I think they like being outraged. It’s probably some kind of fetish.

    • Quite likely.
      I dont read the standard or other lefty blogs for a number of reasons. Mainly because I fear reading them will only make me stupider.
      Maybe they’re as wobh in the hope of getting smarter

      • Whitey

        Too bad it doesn’t seem to be working.

  • timemagazine

    Mr. Larsen, you are such a stylish person!
    You should have read the post twice before making this comment.

  • mike

    I love the hypocrisy “If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything… (censored)-ward”

    Do these people realize that actions like this make them look like hypocrites and idiots?

    • STAG

      The Lefty mantra is strong, Do as I say, Don’t do as I Do.

    • Wallace Westland

      Wasn’t even a proper insult.
      I think what he as going for was when the first word is followed by “wad” or “tard” but the dummy managed to combine them.
      Still selfrightous anger and faux indignation does that.

      • Falcor

        No, should have been followed by “wit”

      • Excitedly awaiting Whodunnit

        Tourettes spoonerism maybe. Good thing he didnt call us a bunch of sock kuckers. (I loved that car ad on ZB – i guess they had a few complaints)

      • mike

        Is hard to formulate a good insult when you have a poor grasp of the English language.

        Read more kids…. There are much better ways to insult someone other than using swear words.

  • Sally

    Wonder if Leighton Smith got a similar email because he also had strong views about the article yesterday? Or is only WO gets the abuse.

  • kayaker

    Careful, Mr Larsen, what ill you wish on others. One false move with the turkey and YOU could end up suffocating BEFORE your Christmas dinner.

  • oldmanNZ

    Just wondering if some people suggest Mr Larsen is a teacher is the correct Larsen?
    His comment as a Teacher below.

    or is this a different Larsen, commenting on the Harbour Bridge cycle track.
    seems totally off beat to the email above?

    • Sally

      I am wondering if one of his students set him up.

  • Alright

    Larry Williams said on ZB yesterday he regularly walks past the City Mission and frequently smells wacky-baccy being smoked.

    So money for dope. None for food.

    That makes sense to people like Mr Larsen who is obviously on drugs or seriously in need of them.

  • caochladh

    “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” He should have taken his own advice.

  • Excitedly awaiting Whodunnit

    The wife and I helped out at the Mission one xmas and although there were some worthy recipients there (most of them quite humbled and polite) the whole experience was soured by the troughers in for a free feed. The tourists with their expensive cameras taking selfies and group shots, being pushy and demanding extra food even though they (and their kids) hadnt finished their meal (which was put into containers they had brought with them in their bags). The scramble for the table/hall decorations was appauling and I walked out of there angry for having been duped into feeding a pile of people who were more than capable of providing for themselves.

    The work they do for the truely needy is to be aplauded but the freebies for all insundry has to end.

  • Billythekid

    Strap yourselves in the lazy boy, buckle up the full harness restraint and watch Camp Bell live at 7pm. Just spotted the trailer and nearly vomited my 3 jugs of full strength beer. Got the courtesy van home by the way !!!

  • Billythekid

    Just viewed the CL Live City Mission excerpt. $20’000.00 cars being loaded with bags of whatever was free, and about $1000.00 of cigarette butts underfoot. The pigs didn’t have the decency to retain their butts for another family member. I’ve passed on the evening meal tonight, as I don’t wish to lose my 3 jugs !!!

  • Eiselmann

    City Mission Christmas function was a good idea, feed the poor, yeah wonderful notion, for my part I can only imagine my fathers attitude to being the recipient of charity. As an aside I grew up in a single parent household ,poor in a poor neighbourhood the amount of state benefits my father qualified for once my mother passed away was… , zip nil, in other words a lot less than every poor parent qualifies for today. Many a day he choose to go without food to ensure I ate , the idea of taking me the City Mission for Christmas would have horrified him, it would be the last place he would ever take me………what’s wrong with fish and chips at the beach…I would have loved that as a kid, that would have been a special treat…but then I know what poor in New Zealand is ,not like these bludger parents,

    Far too many people see City Mission as their first and only option (having worked at WINZ South Auckland I lost count of the number of people who already planned their Christmas Visit a year out from the event rather than ensure next year they had enough money set aside to feed their kids) the only ones who genuinely need City Mission are the ones who’d rather be anywhere else…..

    Hey Mr Larsen put your money where your mouth is …on Christmas day go to the City Mission offer to give everyone who is in genuinely dire need 20 dollars to buy a meal …the ones who run at you are the bludgers and rather than being grateful for an act of kindness they’ll abuse you when you get sick of being charitable…