Did David Parkers have sex with a goat and did the goat enjoy it?



Some interesting news has come in on the tipline about a little known politician called David Parkers.

The tipsters says he heard from a friend who knows a farmer who says that his goats have been ‘bothered’ by this David Parkers and I think that this is a pretty serious allegation that warrants further investigation by the Police.

I can’t prove it, it is hearsay, but I think it needs to be out there for everyone to know, just in case there is something that should be investigated.

A neighbouring farmer said to another person who emailed the tipline that there was no evidence of goat sex from either David Parkers or anyone else. Apparently rectal bleeding is normal in young goats.  

Police have yet to confirm whether or not there is an outbreak of goat sex but are asking for more evidence…and the tipster can’t provide it.

Still I think that news media and radio hosts need to talk about the goat sex, whether or not David Parkers has partaken in goat sex and indeed whether or not the goat enjoyed it.

However there is substantial evidence that this goat sex behaviour is endemic amongst people who steal their best mates wife after they’ve had a stroke and are no longer in a position to pound the crap out of them for the awful deed.

Police must investigate, surely, please.

Surely this is all just a diversion from a more serious crime such as goat rustling or the procurement of young goats for the purposes of sexual pleasure amongst politicians.

Media should immediately ask for clarification from David Parkers on his alleged involvement in a goat sex ring, whether or not he has partaken in goat sex and seek comment from the goat as whether or not it was consensual goat sex.


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