Greetings from Zimbabwe

It’s been absolute ages since I’ve received a nice letter from a dignitary in Africa.   It all seems to be great news.

Greetings from Zimbabwe

Firstly, let me  introduce myself as JOICE MUJURU, incumbent Vice-President of Zimbabwe and also Vice-President of ZANU-PF ruling party in Harare. I advise you read more about the full story at my profile http://www.news24.com/Africa/Zimbabwe/Zimbabwes-state-media-attacks-Mujuru-20141030

There is a battle to succeed our ageing President Robert Mugabe as he bids final farewell to the state house due to his poor health condition coupled with economic instability in Zimbabwe which began since February 2000 when pro-government militants, led by veterans of the 1970s liberation war, began invading white-owned farms. Eleven white farmers have been killed during the farm invasions, and thousands of black workers have been assaulted and forced to abandon farms. That lunched Zimbabwe in severe Economic Sanctions from the United Kingdom and its American ally

The first lady Grace Mugabe conspiracy campaign to discredit my political ambition to become the next President, I will trust you to read the following websites

http://www.news24.com/Africa/Zimbabwe/Zimbabwes-state-media-attacks-Mujuru-20141030

http://www.iol.co.za/news/africa/grace-goes-on-offensive-against-vice-president-1.1770611#.VFfLSzSUfIc

At the moment I have the backing of ZANU-PF support and the defense minister assured me of 100% loyalty that never in this generation would President Robert Mugabe hand over power to his wife to rule Zimbabwe the constitution of Zimbabwe and  ZANU-PF party should be uphold, because if the constitution is adhered strictly I will become the next President of Zimbabwe  from January 2015 when Robert Mugabe is planning to Exit state House, but he wants to hand over to his wife which we vowed never to happen

After due deliberation with my kids, I decided to contact you for your assistance in standing as a beneficiary to the sum of US$30.5M (Thirty Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only)

I am offering you 20% of the principal sum that amounts to US$6,100.000.00 (Six million One Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) and 5% will be for any expenses that both of us may insure in this transaction. And another 5% will go for Motherless babes home. However, you have to assure me and also be ready to go into agreement with me. If you agree to my terms, kindly as a matter of urgency send me an email with your contact details for more in depth analysis to: [email protected]

The primary motive why I want this fund out from Zimbabwe immediately, just in case there is a fall out conspiracy against me during our fourth coming ZANU-PF party congress early December 2014, because right now four Executive of ZANU-PF party were suspended last week, read line for more details:

https://www.newsday.co.zw/2014/11/17/vice-president-joice-mujuru-hits-back/

Actually in Johannesburg for a meeting with the security company regarding safe transfer to your account, feel free to phone me on either of this number: +27729690483 -or +27839734507 for further discussion

Many thanks in advance for your kind considerations.

Joyce Mujuru

5% will go to a “Motherless babes home”.   I mean, you’d have to have a hear of stone, wouldn’t you?

Here is Joyce, with Mugabe

Robert Mugabe, Joseph Msika, Joyce Mujuru

He doesn’t look too unhealthy there, but, Joyce should know better – she’s the woman on the spot after all.  And even though I have never met her children, aren’t they nice to pick me?  Out of everyone they could have picked!  I’m chuffed…

Shall we have some fun and compose a letter I will send via email?   Make it outlandish but still very believable.  I’ll lift the best ideas you leave in the comments below, put it together and will email “Joyce”.  Hopefully she’ll respond, and then we can go for Round Two.

One thing, we need to string her along on email as long as possible, so I can’t phone her.  We need to come up with a good reason I can’t place or receive calls that actually enhances my credibility.

Over to you, if you want to have some fun.

 

NB:  The photo and name are real, obviously the writer isn’t the real Joyce.  If you don’t get that, perhaps pass this game by.

 

 


Do you want:

  • Ad-free access?
  • Access to our very popular daily crossword?
  • Access to daily sudoku?
  • Access to Incite Politics magazine articles?
  • Access to podcasts?
  • Access to political polls?

Our subscribers’ financial support is the reason why we have been able to offer our latest service; Audio blogs. 

Click Here  to support us and watch the number of services grow.

As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.

32%