Are you a MAMIL that uses The Force? The lycra force, that is…

The terrestrial equivalent of surfers, greying middle aged men are donning tighter Lycra…

Standing in the sunshine, chatting with my friends in the park on a lovely Saturday morning, I could not have been more content.

Then I caught a glimpse of garish pink and DayGlo yellow. In an instant, my mood was shattered as a voice gasped: ‘Dear God, Jennie. Is that your husband?’

And there he was, walking towards us in an outfit even Daniel Craig would struggle to pull off. In fact waddling would be a more apt description, as his cycling shoes made walking all but impossible.

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‘What is a MAMIL?’ I hear you cry. Well, as of last week you need look no further than the Oxford Dictionary to find out. It stands for a Middle Aged Man In Lycra.

The definition is ‘a middle-aged man who is a very keen road cyclist, typically one who rides an expensive bike and wears the type of clothing associated with professional cyclists’.

There you go you Lycra Force fielders – you’ve made it into the Oxford Dictionary as Mamils.  Aren’t you proud?

I checked, and it also says “see Road Lice”

Richard’s transformation into a MAMIL began five years ago when, to get fit, he bought a road bike. At first, he wore a sensible pair of shorts and a loose-fitting jersey.

But then the buying began in earnest. New wheels (the old ones were slowing him down, apparently), a pair of cycling shoes, then another pair, then a ‘quicker’ helmet, then a personal trainer to help him shed the pounds and improve his ‘power to weight ratio’.

The clothes grew tighter, the cost escalated as he bought a cycling computer (a glorified satnav), which at £500 cost almost as much as his bike, and £250 sunglasses (they have gaps in the lenses to stop them steaming up — but if you sweat as much as Richard, they steam up anyway).

I know some of you reading this are MAMILs.   Go on.  Out yourself in the comments and be proud to be counted as 1) a road louse, and 2) someone who reads Whaleoil and doesn’t agree with everything I write!

– Jennie Price, Daily Mail


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

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