Phillip “master criminal” Smith brought down by vanity


So this is how we all know him.

And this is how he appeared over a video link in court today:  


Seriously, if I had that easy a way of looking like someone else, and I was a fugitive of the law in South America, I would have ditched the hair piece as soon as possible.

I would even have been growing an arty and thoughtful goatee.


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • LesleyNZ

    That was a pretty good hairpiece he had on – being able to part it in the middle like that. How did he do that? He should shave all his hair off now. He would look 10 years younger.

    • Gaynor

      But then Corrections would give him his wig back and he would look like the the North Korean

  • Justsayn

    Agree, although you’d want to wait until you’ve exited the airport in Brazil – no need to provide a photo of your new look.

    The silly fool had to don a disguise in order to be recognizable.

  • MaryLou

    That’s amazing. I wonder if he got the hairpiece on day release, or whether he had it in jail before he tried to run?

  • peterwn

    Since he did not get an outing today (even in handcuffs), I think Corrections should have let him have his hairpiece during the video hearing. Not letting him have it was a cruel and unusual punishment.

    • LesleyNZ

      Customs probably thought it was a stowaway rat from Brazil and destroyed it.

      • Justsayn

        I image they have a steady supply of human hair, if Brazilians live up to their name that is.

        • Excitedly awaiting Whodunnit

          Wouldnt it be curly?

    • Rachael Membery

      I want to know what he ‘really’ looks like, strip away the artifice and the hair piece.

    • rantykiwi

      Seriously Peter – you’re normally more of a realist than that. I don’t see why any incarcerated criminal should be allowed such non-essential items. Dentures, artificial limbs, spectacles, other items needed to function in a normal manner sure, but vanity items like a rug or artificial nails – get out of here.

  • Salacious Crumb

    Well good. Now he really looks like the paedophile that he is.

  • richard.b

    I would be interested to know if the we paid for that rug while he was inside.
    You can get dental work, glasses etc.
    Does anybody know, can a crim get a rug on the taxpayer?

  • Jonat

    Is it just me, or does his eyes look blue in the first photo and brown in the second? He might have been wearing colour-altering contact lenses.

  • The2Game

    I must admit that, when I first learned Smith had a hairpiece, I just presumed – he’s only 40, isn’t he? – that the thing in question was a minor bit of equipment to maybe cover up a developing bald spot.

    With me now being able to see right through to my scalp, o darn, when drying my hair after showers I am almost tempted to turn crim so as to be able to apply for that impressive mop that Smith managed to wangle out of us taxpayers…

    It would ALMOST get my vote for ‘Cover Up Of The Year’, heh heh…

    • metalnwood

      When I first read it I thought they meant a comb, in a quaint kind of language.

      Listening to a kids program today I heard a german introduce himself as Mr Combover, or Herr Combover if you prefer.

  • SlightlyStrange

    Seriously, it looks like a different man. Are we sure they bought the right guy home?
    And I agree – if he’d lost the hair piece in South America, he would have gotten away with it for MUCH longer.

  • ex-JAFA

    As I said the other day, more vain than brain.

  • My first thought upon seeing that photo; crikey, what’s David Bain done THIS time?

  • John Q Public

    That he paid money to buy that hair makes it more ridiculous. I thought it was just a stoopid haircut.

  • edee

    With or without the wig, what a disgusting creature in every respect.

    So he intends to defend the charges related to his alleged escape overseas. What a joke and what a bigger joke it will be if the taxpayer ends up forking out for it.

    • dgrogan

      Cracks me up that his escape to South Americas is, “alleged”. I’m certain three cops went over there to get him back. Or was that alleged too?

    • spanishbride

      When something is clearly fact you should not be allowed to defend an ‘ alleged’ charge as fact is fact.

      • Rick H

        It’s a little like the USA cops constantly referring to Crims they catch “red handed” as “suspects”.
        What IS that?
        If you catch the buggers “in the act” – -they seriously are NOT suspects – they are the Criminals.

      • Another Middleagedwhiteguy

        Agreed. And definitely no public money should be available to do so, nor public court time (& expense) should be lavished on it either.

  • Tom McKechnie

    So the baldy guy is pleading not guilty to escaping ’cause it was the hairy guy what done it.

  • Lord Evans

    Aaah, that’s much better – the combover really suits him don’t you think?

  • metalnwood

    If he wasn’t a pedo he could say people are wrong 9 times out of 10 when they guess what he is in for.

  • rantykiwi

    His shyster doesn’t look much better in the hair department either. I can’t believe said lawyer is supporting him in pleading not guilty to the escaping charges – time to get him struck off for wasting legal aid.

  • Billythekid

    Second pic looks like he’s had a Pan Am haircut. Right around the globe !

    • Another Middleagedwhiteguy

      Should have worn a dark brown T, then we could have thought he was a medieval monk.

      • Billythekid

        Drop the medi from medieval and add ey to monk, and you got it !!!

  • Guest

    Looks like a kiddly fiddler

  • Bryan

    i cannot understand police charging him with illegal passport when he applied for one in his own name and was given it. what is illegal about that that’s what we all do just seems odd to Me unless his picture was with the “Donald trump” hair peice so a false picture

    • burns_well_eh

      You have to give your address when applying, and he gave a false address – I believe it was his sister’s but don’t quote me on that.

      “Smith was charged under the Passport Act of gaining a passport by supplying a misleading particular.

      The Passport Act charge alleged that Smith said he lived at an address when he was actually in prison at the time. Judge Macdonald suppressed the address.”

      If he’d told them he was in prison and subject to a day release program I think it’s a reasonable bet they wouldn’t have issued him with one. It might also have been a bit awkward that he used a different name to the one he was imprisoned under.