There is a pill to prevent pregnancy where is the pill to prevent flab?

I have reached that point yet again where I know that I need to take action over my weight. The problem is that I like food and taking action is hard work.

I have done it successfully before but it is no fun and takes ages or takes a lot of money.

Jenny Craig is very efficient and if I could afford it I could easily lose a kilo a week on it till I was back in shape. The problem is that I can’t afford it.

Also last time I used Jenny Craig the helpful mentor/ cheer leader to support me in my weight loss was a huge Whaleoil fan. Instead of wanting to talk about me, all she wanted to talk about was him, sigh. I actually finished the programme before I hit my goal weight simply to avoid having to answer questions about how Cameron was doing.

We all know that sex is pleasurable but we can avoid the side effects of pregnancy thanks to contraception. Well I love eating and I want to avoid the side effects. When will the Scientists stop studying Global warming and do some useful study that will contribute to me being able to fit my size 12 jeans again?

I don’t want to stop eating yummy things. I love fruit and vegetables and I don’t drink soft drinks but I don’t exercise enough and I only get 6-7 hours of sleep a night which makes it extra hard to lose weight. I also love potato chips and I want to scoff them whenever I feel like it. Is that too much to ask? Their salty crunchiness makes life worth living.

It turns out there is a reason why I enjoy potato chips, they actually activate a cannabis like compound in my body which makes me feel good.

We love fat, and there’s good reason why.

Scientists are beginning to understand the the ways in which our bodies react biochemically to fat, and it may lead to new ways to curb our addictions to unhealthy foods.

In a new study (see abstract), published recently in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, California researchers have discovered that receptors in our mouths, upon coming into contact with fat, triggering a powerful addiction-type mechanism in our guts.

Essentially it activates cannabis-like compounds in our body. Fat, therefore, makes us happy and we want more.

This study shows that oral sensing of fat sends a signal to the brain, which in turn sends a signal to the gut leading to formation of endocannabinoids, which in turn re-enforce fat eating.

This is probably why, just eating one piece of fatty food (say one potato chip or French fry) is so hard. Simply eating one makes you want to continue eating till the whole bag or plate is empty.

Unfortunately, the drug rimonabant, used to effectively block this effect in this study, is no longer available for obesity management (it was withdrawn due to its negative impact on mood), but it may well be that other CB-1 inhibitors that do not enter the brain may prove to be effective to reduce fat intake.

Perhaps drug researchers can identify CB-1 inhibitors like rimonabant that do not have similarly bad side effects.


It is well past time that a pill was invented to limit how much fat is created by our bodies. Why can’t I take one with each meal to limit how much of the meal ends up on my hips? I don’t care about stupid electric cars or Google glass, I want to be slim with no effort required thank you very much so hurry up already and invent it.

I have used Weight Watchers and that worked well too. Eventually however having to work out the point score of each snack and meal gets tedious.

The person who invents what I want will become rich beyond their wildest dreams.

The experts of course claim that:

The only way to lose weight and keep it off is to adopt a healthy diet and a regular exercise regimen for life. So put down those carb blockers and potato chips, and get your butt to the gym.

Party poopers!




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  • Woody

    It is interesting that even looking at that picture made me start salivating, I have probably put on a few ounces as a result of just looking. How come looking at my bike doesn’t take weight off?

  • Grizz30

    Can I suggest eating unsalted nuts (almonds, peanuts), seeds (pumpkin or sunflower for example) and fruit instead of salted chips. All that those salted chips want to do is make you eat more salted chips.

  • Curly1952

    Same problem with me!! Love food and a beer. Don’t need an expensive Gym- theres a whole world of paths, tracks and hills out there and the odd sit up fixes it.
    I have worked out the main problem though – I am exactly the ideal weight but am 8 inches too short!!.

    • Dave

      High heels or perhaps platforms might solve that problem for you Curly

      • Curly1952

        Hadn’t thought of that. Although I’m in pretty good shape for the shape I’m in!!

  • Get yourself a nice touring bike with a comfortable saddle and a more upright posture. Ride every day until you’re fit enough that 20K is OK. Couple that with reducing your dinner plate each night to an 8 inch plate. Eat the same things you normally do for dinner, just less of them. Treat yourself to “forbidden” snacks only every second day, then if you can, every third, then once a week. Also cut back on carbs, particularly bread. Make the changes gradually- we are looking for long term permanent improvement. Forget about calories just control the overall quantity so it becomes a little less each week. Exercise and diet- there are no other quick fixes. The good thing is it only takes your body a couple of weeks to adjust so you don’t feel as hungry and inclined to binge.

  • Cowgirl

    That book ‘Eat less crap, lose that fat’ is good. I think it’s been spoken about on here before. I have only skim read it, but it had good tips and was easily accessible. No gym, no cutting out the foods you like, but just eating a bit less of them and making it harder to binge. I remember one of her tips is just to stand more, because skinny people tend to be standers rather than sitters. Makes sense and practical tips for a lifestyle, not a diet. Seems like a book would be cheaper too if you can’t just get it from the library.

  • Chris EM

    I also enjoy getting stoned on potato chips. The price on the street, and the supermarket, (a ripoff) has seen me cut down on my partaking, and has had a small but noticeable affect on my waistline.I now only purchase when the price has been reduced substantially.
    I wonder if their are any in the cupboard…

  • Countiesfan

    I read a marvellous article the other day about the 12 hour diet. Fast between 7.00pm and 7.00am for example so you avoid late night sneaky eating. Eat what you like in the other 12 hours. Looks like it works perfectly on mice. Not sure if mice have my weakness for salty food and chardonnay but I’m giving it a go.

  • phronesis

    Cheap, fast, easy. You can choose any two.

  • ozbob68

    Apparently “P” is great for weight loss, but the court costs will be prohibitive.

  • Hakaru

    Recently used the Fast Diet to get rid of my excess weight. Worked perfectly and lost a kilo a week for 13 weeks till I got back to the weight I was at when 20 years old. Eat what you like for five days and only 500 to 600 calories per day for two days. Easy to do and it at least makes you think about the calories in the food you eat. Best 25 dollars I have spent on a book.

    • spanishbride

      Thanks for that. I have bought it from Amazon and it is already downloaded onto my Kindle. I have the self control for 2 days a week it’s just having it for 13 weeks or more 7 days a week that gets exhausting so fingers crossed :)

  • la la land

    Try getting rid of all sugar and processed carbs – you can still eat lots including fat and lose weight! Actually I don’t even eat that much any more because I feel full… The meat and veg keep you full and there’s no sugar highs or lows. I don’t even miss the bread.

  • chwaga

    The diabetes booklet from the GP helped me lose 5kg quickly but that also included a 3km walk 4 times a week.

  • Catriona

    I saw an absolute cracker today. I was walking down the street and this woman comes toward me in a motorised wheel chair. As an aside, she was pretty much spilling out of the machine and then as she got closer and passed I realised she was wearing pyjama pants which were pulled down to mid-thigh and she was resting her bare backside on the seat!!!! OMG. I hope nobody else gets on the thing and takes it for a spin without swabbing the seat down first.

  • NoEyeDeer

    To get long term gains it’s light exercise and cutting back on carbs. Best method I found: cut out carbs totally for two weeks (ideally fast one day out of each week, I didn’t though). This resets how your body craves carbohydrates from easy starch types to complex carbs. Then on week 3 light carbs and exercise. You will notice a lack of desire for breads and hopefully chips!

  • Catsings

    Try getting hold of a book, It Starts With Food. Library has it.

  • Fritz

    Challenge Metiria Turei to a half marathon.

    • hookerphil

      And Megan Woods.

  • Gavin Closey

    Simple, low carb high fat, visit the Diet Doctor from Sweden. Lose weight and never be hungry, exercise optional.

  • cows4me

    I think the whole weight argument is a load of crap. The BMI is totally nuts. I’m about 92k and 180 tall and I’m bordering on obese according to health Nazis , I would love to see someone of their prefured weight do the phyisical work that we do. I’ve seen guys atleast a 120k shear 200 sheep a day. They would kill some of the rubbish that gyms push out.

  • Eyeknownothing

    Look into whole30, I did, did it, didn’t want to but after the 1st week all became easier, and the cravings less and less. Benefits have definitely been worth all the pain.
    You can still eat potato chips, kumera, meat, veggies and fruit, just have to eliminate diary, sugars, wheat and grains…problem foods!

  • friardo

    Provide you’ve got enough will power just eat what you like but skip one meal a week. If that doesn’t work skip two meals a week and so on, until you start losing weight.

    Now for a real problem, how the hell do you put weight on? You know, for those preternaturally thin guys like me, eating more doesn’t work, I just crap more.

  • Chris Chitens

    I am rake but I am constantly reminded by mum it will catch up on me (so much food and booze in my life) and I will look like dad. I think terrible feverish hangovers are burning a lot of oil- but I know that isn’t sustainable.

  • Mags

    I try to focus on my health rather than my weight. Being over Weight is just the symptom of me being unhealthy. Like my high blood pressure is a symptom too. Most diets focus on weightloss as the end goal rather than good health and well being. Being healthy and feeling well Is a really long term goal for me. I don’t get it right every day but if I get it right most of the time.
    The fact that you like vegetables is a really positive place to start. Instead of wondering what meat I’m going to eat for dinner I plan my meals as to which vegetables are going to fill my plate. Even the starchy veges that fill me up with roughage and other good things. I love spuds/kumera but always thought they were bad for me but they stop me from being hungry. Cut out the bad carbs but not the good ones I reckon.
    I was on a really bad trajectory but seem to have turned it round. So my symtoms of high cholestrol and being overweight, feeling lathargic, feeling uncomfortable in my body are all improving.