Slatergate the Sequel

PM reveals that he uses the same toothpaste as Slater

Prime Minister John Key has admitted that he uses Colgate toothpaste, the exact same brand as used by the toxic, controversial, vile, attack blogger Cameron Slater. The Prime Minister released a receipt from his local New World that showed that he had purchased a tube of Colgate, cavity protection as pressure mounts over his account of his relationship with the WhaleOil blogger.

Colgate with cavity protection; the same brand used by toxic, vile, controversial attack blogger Cameron Slater

Colgate with cavity protection; the same brand used by toxic, vile, controversial attack blogger Cameron Slater

Having been unable to remember the last time he asked Cameron Slater what toothpaste he used, and denying that he had deliberately purchased the exact same toothpaste as Slater to Parliament on Wednesday afternoon, Key was forced to admit he misled Parliament this evening.

On Tuesday, Key was asked by reporters when he had last spoken to Slater about the brand of toothpaste he used.

“I don’t know, I can’t recall,” he said.

“I haven’t spoken to him on the phone for months and months and months on end. He sent me a text once, but I can’t recall when that was.”

Today Key was asked by Labour MP Megan Woods whether he had been in contact with Slater about the benefits of minty fresh breath.

At the time, Key said no.

This evening, during the second reading of the Parole Amendment Bill, Key returned to the House to make a personal statement acknowledging his answers were wrong.

He claimed that he believed Woods was only talking about mouth wash, when in fact she had asked about both mouthwash and toothpaste.

“On Monday the 24th of November I received an unsolicited text message from Mr Slater with a reference to the fact that Phil Goff had bad breath. There was a very short exchange where I briefly acknowledged that text message. I believe Colgate toothpaste was briefly mentioned by Mr Slater.”

Initially Key’s office refused to comment further, saying his statement was “very clear”

Little said it appeared to him that Key had told a lie.

“The Prime Minister gave an answer to a question today that was wrong. I think people will draw their own conclusions; it looks like a lie to me.”

Kevin Hague weighed into the┬ádebate too stating “Colgate is sold in supermarkets, that sell Groceries, we need to know what Katherine Rich knows about the collusion between Cameron Slater and John Key over what toothpaste they share”.

“The voters need a full inquiry into this that is wide ranging and includes which brand of brush is used and also mouthwash” Hague said.

Opposition parties are expected to further question the prime Minister when the house resumes.


– Deadtree Media



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  • LesleyNZ

    Well all I can say is – that AIM (original) toothpaste is much better than Colgate. And if you have sensitive teeth use Sensodyne. I found the Colgate sensitive toothpaste not quite as good as Sensodyne. Phil Goff should definitely use AIM not Colgate – especially if he wants to be AKLD’s next Mayor.

    • Doug

      Gawd Phil Goff for Auckland Mayor, he leaks more than Andrew Williams.

      • kehua

        Very good Doug.

    • ShoreRight

      He could get his ” ring of confidence” in the secret bathroom!

    • Rick H

      Do you realise that AIM toothpaste is imported from India?

      • LesleyNZ

        Well I never! You are right! Made in India…………….

  • Catriona

    I’m still waiting to hear what the txt Buster aka Russell Norman discussed with the failed would be if he would be IP big shot when he visited Coatesville and snuggled up to his host. I’m all ears Russell. What’s good enough for the goose is good enough for the gander if you get my drift.

  • Wheninrome

    Was flossing mentioned in he same text (or breath)? The Opposition could well be overwhelmed with a mouthful of questions. Meanwhile the Dentist’s Association is scurrying around making sure all texts involving them have been rinsed away.
    Will we see the advent of a Ministry of Pearly Whites, A commission of Enquiry calling for an “Open Wide” decision making process in the future.

  • Sally

    There is a basic mistake in this Dead Tree media release.

    It is multi award winning toxic, controversial, vile, attack blogger

  • Pete

    Colgate “gate”

    • burns_well_eh

      Mouthwash whitewash?

  • ShoreRight

    Has anyone been to Australia to track down and interview Mrs Marsh ? She could give this story the chalk and liquid dye test to check for seepage and saturation !

    • Wheninrome

      I think she went “walkabout”.

      • jethro

        No the dingo stole her baby..

  • Hard1

    Better than Braunias !

    • spanishbride

      That is high praise indeed, thank you.

  • Cadwallader

    NEWS FLASH!!! Len Brown confirms he expects his new closet to be a hidden meeting place for the Prime Minister and the Toxic One! Mr Brown’s advisors will draft a schedule of available meeting times for all invited parties.

    • Crookednose

      Cam, you and JK better take some gloves, cleaning gear and a pallet load of disinfectant for that room. Who knows (do you?!) what’s gone on in there?

  • Timboh

    Mr Key should be careful not to brush over this issue as the MSM will get their teeth into it.

  • dgrogan

    Actually, against the normal pattern of things, this sequel is actually much more interesting than the original story. Well done, SB.

  • TonyM

    Oh no, native advertising has come to the blog :-(

  • Graeme

    More incisive questioning from the opposition in Parliament. How much more pathetic can they get. The next question will; possibly be about saving the forests and asking Key how many pieces of toilet paper, what brand, two or three ply he uses when he has to go.

  • Graeme

    We use the same toothpaste brand as them both. Wonder what brand most of the opposition parties use ?

  • I’m waiting for the MSM and opposition claims of a massive right-wing conspiracy…I mean, is there a correlation between using Colgate and ring-wing opinions? Time to have another inquiry? ;)

  • Sundreamer

    How long before the Greens accuse the government of a mouthwash over this?

  • Rachael Membery

    I hope some one is being paid for advertising this brand? Would this qualify as a ‘celebrity’ endorsement?

  • Clutch Cargo

    John Key should not be concerned about cavity protection given that Colgate provides a ring of confidence!

  • Iva b ginn

    Question is, what is Lockwood Smiths View on this matter?( Mr Colgate him self)

  • jsb1685

    Splendid satire, well done!