Stocking filler suggestions

Stocking fillers

Stocking fillers

I have not filled my children’s stockings yet but I am always on the look out for fun little items to pop into them. As I returned from the mall yesterday, carrying rolls of wrapping paper and a few impulse gifts,I started wondering what the perfect stocking fillers would be for some of the political figures that have dominated the headlines this year. Nicky Hager, Len Brown, Kim Dotcom, Laila Harre, John Key and of course our very own toxic, vile, attack blogger/journalist Cameron Slater .

Nicky Hager

Nicky Hager

If you’re physically transporting data you don’t want other people to see, you should be doing it on secure media. And what better than something that hides easily within a pocket? Secure flash drives that are only about the size of a small cigarette lighter feature robust hardware security to make them super secure. You’ll pay a premium for the integrated security, but you can’t put a price on the peace of mind you get by knowing that your data is locked down.



Len Brown

I have two suggestions for Len Brown, one to keep his pants up, and one to keep our rates down.

to help keep his pants up

to help keep his pants up

to help keep the rates down

to help keep the rates down


Kim Dotcom

Bling Soap On a Rope: Keep Your Rep At All Times

Even pimps need to bathe every once in a while and when your bathing in prison soap on a rope is crucial. This bling soap on a rope allows you to keep your street cred even when you are taking a group shower. Plus, it prevents any unnecessary exposure that might put you in a vulnerable position.


via TVNZ / Laila Harre

via TVNZ / Laila Harre


PM John Key

PM John Key


Whale Oil Blogger Cameron Slater Portrait Session

Cameron Slater Blogger Whaleoil

For the Man with three trophies this would be a great stocking stuffer.

Trophy Shelf

Trophy Shelf


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • Hakaru

    It would be great SB to get the original signed cartoon from Emerson for above the trophy shelf to go with the awards.

  • Benoni

    At a fancy dress party themed “what I aspire to” one attractive young lady was wearing a dress made out of $20 bills (well photocopied) which was smeared with a bit of grime and grease. Filthy rich was her aspiration. I think a similar garment would be a nice present for Laila.

  • conwaycaptain

    For David “I am sorry I am a man” Cunliffe a course of Testosterone injections.
    For David “Muter mutter” Shearer a copy of The King’s Speech.
    For Grant “Cardy” Robertson an App so he knows where Alf is all the time and doesn’t forget he is in the background of where Grant is at the moment.
    For Andrew” I am Labour’s hope” Little a nice chain mail shirt for protection.
    For Red Russel a one way ticket back to Aus.
    and for Material Girl a Gift Card for Adrienne Winkelman couture

  • Sally

    May I suggest.
    Hager – a pencil to replaced his seized laptop
    Brown – Thomas Tank engine. No explanation needed.
    Dotcom – a model car replace his seized ones
    Laila – skiing googles for her upcoming holiday
    Key – a golf ball for his upcoming holiday
    Cam – a hard hat for protection from all the knockers.

  • cows4me

    Hager : A bib to catch all the dribble
    Brown : Some spray and wipe, to clean away all the dribble
    KDC : Nice pair of orange overalls
    Harre : A Mao suit
    Jk : A good text plan
    Cam : Body armor.

  • Cadwallader

    Jacinda: A Mr Ed soft-toy with a zip up its back.
    Hone: A map of the Far North so he can remind himself he once had an electorate.
    Colin Craig: “A Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy.”
    Winston: Jacinda plus an Honorary Membership to the Racing Conference.
    Angry Andy: An electorate, any electorate!
    Grant Robertson: A job, any job!
    David Shearer: A National Cabinet posting as Minister for Foreign Affairs (seriously.)
    Bill English: A weekend retreat with WO.
    …just a few ideas.

  • Yeahright

    If we leave John Key out of the list above, a good dose of Comman Sense, if available in the colour red, and a maths class in statistics because according to them they still can’t believe they lost!

  • caochladh

    Chinese finger traps – that should keep their hands off the keyboard for a while.

  • Dave

    With the upmost respect for you SB, I suggest for Cam, and looking to the future of WOBH and Freed, a bigger cabinet will be needed, perhaps this might last three years :)

    • Excitedly awaiting Whodunnit

      Ask the Aussies if they have one they don’t need.

  • Eddie

    All the greens should be given water as they think it is a cure for everything.

    • sin-ic

      Only for rectal infusion

  • Cowgirl

    Hager needs a new bag of lemons because the one he’s been sucking on the last few months must be just about used up.
    In most of the above cases (CS and JK as the exceptions) a pair of handcuffs and a trip in a paddy wagon wouldn’t go amiss, and it would be the gift that kept on giving (for us that is).

  • mintles

    Hey SB. I saw a red pistol that squirts tomato sauce on TradeMe and immediately thought of Cam and most of the guys who comment of this blog ;-) Would make a great wee stocking stuffer.