Stop bashing your family you feral scum!


An increasing number of younger men are using violence against family members – “mostly mums” – a specialist family violence agency says.

Of about 190 men listed on family violence police incident reports in North Canterbury in a 12-month period, 23 were aged 15 to 19.

The majority, about 30 per cent, were aged between 20 and 29, and five were under 15.

Ramon York, a Rangiora-based ReachOut worker, said he had observed an “enormous increase” in family violence cases involving younger men.

“There are far more young people coming up on the [incident reports], that is young boys and girls who are acting out against their mum or their brothers and sisters . . . mums mostly.”

The elephant in the room is…. where are the fathers?  

“A significant percentage of the police incident reports we receive identify younger men, commonly between the ages of 15 and 25, who have used some form of violence within their families.

“We know that those police incident reports capture only a very small percentage – 20 per cent, no more – of violence that is taking place within homes and communities.

“Even if the problem of violence amongst younger people was not growing, which we believe it is . . . we absolutely need to develop a focused response for younger people. Because if we don’t do that . . . we won’t break the intergenerational cycle of violence.”

Senior Constable Chris Hurring, family violence co-ordinator for North Canterbury, said violence by younger men, quite often towards parents or caregivers, was a concern and “a battle that’s quite a hard one to fight”.

They all refuse to identify the family situation that these violence cases occur in.  Dad no longer there?  Mum has a deadbeat boyfriend?

15-25 would be an age where a lot of anger and rage will come out as puberty and, to them, a lifetime of screwed up priorities all come to a head.

I tell you one thing:  if any of my kids took to my wife, it would be the last time they’d ever try or dare to try.   Children innately know that you don’t beat up on your mum because dad’s there to protect her.

But… no dad…


– Anna Pearson, The Press


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  • Bart67

    So, how’s that anti smacking legislation going in reducing levels of family violence then? Is it making a difference yet? Or have we, as I suspected from the start, done nothing to reduce actual family violence at all, and only effectively criminalised real loving parents?

    In giving children nothing but rights, and no attendant responsibilities, we are going to have a generation of these entitled little upstarts.

    I’m not saying we should be able to hit our children, but I am saying that our children must have consequences for aberrant behavior that go beyond the “naughty step”.

    • mommadog

      The problem with the anti-smacking bill is that it is in favour of the child, its not equal as in – lets not hit each other regardless of age, whether child, parent or granny. There is nothing that says the child should not smack the parent. Many children are not stupid and pull all kinds of things including threatening to call the police if Mum or Dad retaliate or try to discipline in any physical way. It opened the door for manipulative kids to become even more so.

    • Rick H

      Right from the outset, I recall vividly that horrid voice of Sue Bradford constantly stating the words “Bash” and “Smash”

      Those are nothing to do with a “smack”.
      A “smack” renders a very short term pain with usually zero physical harm. To which the child finds out how far he can stretch the line.

      Bashing, and Smashing – – -well, that’s a completely different thing, and should NOT happen.

    • Wendy

      That is exactly what I was thinking as I was reading this.
      Parents need to be able to exert their authority over their children, and children need to understand that in the family hierarchy, the adults are at the top and the children defer to them.
      Instead what we have now is a generation of children growing up saying to their parents “If you touch me Ill go to the police”.
      So here is another one for the law of unintended consequences:
      The state removes parents ability to appropriately discipline their children and we get a huge increase in young people who are violent and/or otherwise behave unacceptably.

  • SlightlyStrange

    Man. Years later, I still feel guilty for my teen-angst-driven yelling at my mother when we had arguments.
    Are these kids not taught that there is a way other than violence? How many of them have grown up with violence being a regular feature of their home?

    • LabTested

      Mum was a solo mum with 5 kids. I still remember bringing her to tears with my words. My older brother had more anger & while he never hit her, she did have to hold him down at times until his rage went.

      Angry years growing up without a dad.

      • Rick H

        ha – I too was one of 5 kids – all boys – brought up by my mum alone, after dad was killed in a workplace accident when I was 4.
        My older brothers also, were a bit like yours. LOL.
        I was always, and still am, fairly easy-going, and it takes one hell of a lot to get me “going”.
        She did well, under the circumstances; and is still happily living in her own unit, at almost 90 years of age.

  • timemagazine

    This is what society gets when the tradional fabric of wife-husband- mum-dad is slowly slowly destroyed in the name of diversity.

  • Wheninrome

    Young men, being the eldest male, thinking they are in charge of the family, not having the skills to be in charge and not knowing how to deal with their anger.
    “Deadbeat” boyfriends not an example to follow, but unfortunately that is the only “male” example they have to follow.

  • redherring2

    Abhorrent. Would they do it to their Grandmother? That is their children’s (because you know they have about 7 of them) Nana for crying out loud. Disgusting.

  • mommadog

    Sadly I’m not all that surprised at these findings. Next report there may be some females in there hitting out at mothers as well. Perhaps I am showing my age but youth today seem to lash out and be more physically violent. Often for the reasons stated. No decent role model around or anyone to enforce the need for self control. Its not just the current youth though. My sister was in a similar situation 20 or so years ago. Husband walked out when oldest son was around 7 years old and didn’t have/didn’t want much to do with his kids at that time. As oldest son got to teenage years with testosterone flowing he decided he was the man of the house and Mum should do what he said and wanted. Add Mums then boyfriend into the picture and Mum dating (Mum and then boyfriend now husband are still together so it wasn’t a fly by night thing) and it got downright verbally ugly to the threat of violence and fists raised. As the ex-husband/Dad was of no use my sister went to Tough Love classes where she found support and learned to set limits with consequences. The “I love you but I do not agree with your behaviour and if it doesn’t change you can leave” type message. I know it was hard for her sticking to it and not backing down from the stated consequences but it helped, along with time. Oldest son is now in his early 30’s and a decent successful working human being. Still for a while there we all wondered how he was going to turn out. Full credit to my sister for reaching out to get some guidance and help in the situation then following through.

  • BlitzkriegNZ

    I’d be putting money on the fact that a lot of these kids have been cranked out for the sake of easy money to people who have avoided responsibility all their lives. I have no sympathy for people being abused by their own creations but I do feel bad for genuinely good families who have had a member go feral.

  • Peter

    Or… the flow on effect of not being able to smack your kids….

  • Thats what happens when a boy grows up without a male role model (or a scumbag one), they reach adult body still with a 5 year olds definition of what being a man means (big, tough, strong). Testosterone is surging, emotions are all over the place and nobody has ever shown them what it truelly means to be a man. The problem might be expessed in the younger generation, but the cause is the generation before it.

    Now how do we solve it?

  • Wheninrome

    Not ferals in Christchurch MSM would have it that they don’t exist.

  • ElZorrodePlata

    What’s in their faces all day… Gangsta music and culture that advocates violence and abuse, plus easy access to alcohol and the lack of good parenting and this is what you get. The political correctness brigade also have some fault here as this sort of behaviour would not have been accepted by the community 20-30 years ago.

  • Nige.

    Selfishness. It occur red to me yesterday that a lot of family violence occurs because some members of the family are jealous of others. People it seems don’t like to share. Possessions or feelings.

  • Monito

    Mum is sacred and any kid that ever raised a hand to his Mum should be jailed regardless of age or ethic/religion.

  • Brian of Mt Wellington

    Lack of discipline at home, loss of corporal punishment at school and law enforcement having to tippy toe around anyone under 17 yrs old. It is coming back to bite us all on the backside. Wrapping kids in cotton wool and treating them like fragile crockery with the lack of smacking ( Not Beating ) is part of the problem as many of them have no respect for anyone especially their family their elders and the cops. imho.

  • Whitey

    I agree lack of a civilised male role model is a major contributing factor (I’m guessing there’s probably a succession of loser boyfriends in a lot of these cases, which obviously doesn’t help), but some of the poor parenting that leads to situations like this comes from the mum as well. Kids learn this type of behaviour from somewhere, and if there isn’t a dad in the picture then they will have learned it from their mum.

    Sadly, if we look into these cases we’ll probably find mums who are every bit as feral and dysfunctional as their offspring.

  • waldopepper

    well, feminism destroyed the family unit and ostricised men, and women are constantly telling men they dont need us, so ……… whats the problem. we took it all on board and left the family unit in your hands as you demanded. and now the boys are resenting you and giving you the bash are they ? well, this is the world you wanted and now you have it. remember that old saying – be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. well, seems you got it and now you dont want it. well unfortunately you cant wind the clock back im afraid.

    • Mark Schmid

      Thats like the rapist blaming the woman he raped – “well, she was coming on to me, she was wearing a skirt” – fortunately we can’t turn back the clock, otherwise people like you would burn us at the stake.