Trying to think like a Leftie

They say you need to walk a mile in a person’s shoes before you can even begin to understand them. I have found the Lefties reaction to the National Party winning the election mystifying. On and on they went bemoaning that New Zealanders are stupid and should have voted for that lovely Mr Cunliffe so he could form a coalition with  Laila Harre and Hone’s Internet Party funded by that lovely Jolly German Gamer Kim Dotcom.

Why were New Zealanders not convinced by Dirty Politics they screamed ineffectively, tears running down their pale vegan faces. It’s not faaiiiiiiiir.

Well finally I can sympathise. Something important to me has been beaten by something I do not support. New Zealanders have voted with their wallets and yet again my favourite business has been removed from my local mall. I am not happy and my bottom lip is starting to quiver.

Wendys, my favourite ice cream shop

Wendys, my favourite ice cream shop


We used to live near Botany and many weekends we all enjoyed a treat at Wendys. One day it was gone. Initially we didn’t panic, after all at Botany the shops often move around especially when leases are renewed. However it never reappeared. Instead our only options were the ice cream cones and sundaes at Mc Donalds or the new Kiwi Yo business that was very expensive.

When we moved to our new location we were thrilled to find a Wendys at our local mall. It had been there for over 31 years and gave great service so it never occurred to us that it would shut down. Well yesterday they were taking the shop apart. I over heard the owner talking to a former customer. Apparently the Kiwi Yo that had recently opened up in competition in the small mall had hurt their bottom line so much that they were forced to close down.

Bugger! It’s not faaiiir. Kiwi Yo have grabbed the market share off Wendys despite being more expensive.Customers prefer their products even if I don’t. They must be stupid because Wendys is the best because I like Wendys and so does my family….

Nah, sorry I just can’t quite get into the Leftie mindset. I love Wendys I do and I want them back but I really can’t get myself outraged at Kiwi Yo for running a better campaign and selling a more appealing product.

lollie toppings from Kiwi Yo ( the Wendys killer )

lollie toppings from Kiwi Yo ( the Wendys killer )

What I really want is for Wendys to grab their market share back by giving the customers what they want. If they want to choose stupid lollies to sprinkle onto their stupid yogurt give them stupid lollies. Better still outdo them by giving customers a choice of lollies to put onto ice cream which is far yummier than stupid yogurt. Having said that however, Wendys yogurt sundaes taste way better than Kiwi Yo so I bet they could beat them at yogurt sales if they only put their minds to it.

Additionally If customers are prepared to pay $8 for a stupid sundae with a choice of lollies charge them $8

Attack them using their own advertising. They claim healthy yogurt yet provide lollies to cover the healthy yogurt with. Why not sell ice cream with low sugar or no sugar lollies like these? Beat those Kiwi Yo treat providers at their own game. Be healthier than them.

Healthier lollies

Healthier lollies

Well I tried, I really did, to be a Leftie but I just can’t do it. Even when my preferred sugary treat provider lost the battle I still want them to win the war by making the necessary changes. I don’t hate Kiwi Yo for being better at what they do. I respect them for winning the customers over. I don’t really think people who shop there are stupid, I just love Wendys.

Yogurt Sundaes from Wendys. The berry one on the right is my all time favourite.

Yogurt Sundaes from Wendys. The berry one on the right is my all time favourite.


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • Sally

    SB, be strong, stand on your own 2 feet, fight back, get an ice cream maker and make your own.

  • Michael_l_c

    Wendy’s are going the way of the dinosaur. The frozen yoghurt & flash ice cream places have been growing for years. Wendy’s didn’t adapt, or even seem to try.
    Anyone seen a T Rex lately?

    • What do you think the prime constituent in a Wendy’s is?

      • Michael_l_c

        I assume milk products, not yoghurt.

  • Mark

    Ok my dirty little secret is a Kiwi Yo loyalty card in my wallet,ironically I always found Wendys too expensive. So yes Kiwi Yo has done a number on me, I just finished the last of my ham,might head to the mall…

  • Michael

    Three words – Cold Stone Creamery

  • Kevin

    What the health freaks who frequent places like Kiwi Yo don’t realise is that yoghurt is very fattening.

  • Reid

    Whenever I want to think like a lefty I place my feet about 45 degrees so my toes point toward each other then I start thinking about all the widdle victims of the gweat big meanies and how amazing I am as a person that I weally weally care so vewy vewy much. By the time I’ve done that my widdle heart is swelling with immense pride so I wemind myself how vewy vewy special I weally weally am, shut down everything I know about the world and proceed to imagine what a wonderful place it would be if only we had “x.” At no point do I ever interrupt my train of thought with such triva as: how the hell is that ever going to happen? I just think about how weally weally neaty it would be if “x” were so.

    Sometimes I petulantly stamp my foot if my meanderings aren’t quite having the desired effect of making the entire planet a much much better place because of my idea which no-one else has ever thought of, and that helps a lot to overcome any persistent logical obstacles that my suppressed conservative mind annoyingly throws up from time to time.

    After it’s all over I normally have a bit of a lie down. It’s not easy, thinking like a lefty.

    • OneTrack

      “how the hell is it going to happen”?

      Well, every good lefty knows the answer to that – tax rich pricks more

  • Imogen B

    Here’s an idea:
    Organise a boycott of any publication that carries Kiwi Yoy advertising.
    Oh, wait … That has worked for … No one!

  • Isherman

    Funny you should say SB, attached in the link is a glaring example of the the damage leftie socialist thinking can have on Ice Cream, and also..who the hell would take a silly yoghurt over a proper ice cream or sundae anyway…

  • Aucky

    You’re not thinking like a lefty at all SB. The perfect lefty solution to your problem is either to give Wendys a tax break or have the ratepayers subsidise their rent in exchange for which Wendys will move back into the mall, guarantee that all of their workers join the union and donate to the labour warchest.

  • Hakaru

    We are not the only ones losing a loved product. Canadians are boycotting Burger King who own Tim Horton’s in Canada.

  • oldmanNZ

    I heard it the other way, the 1million lost voters that didn’t bother to vote for labour were too lazy to vote. And was their fault that labour lost.

    Perhaps, like Wendy’s, people just tired of he same old thing thing thats too fattening.

    The lost 1million were not stupid, they really didnt want labour to win.

  • El Diablo

    Funny I always thought Wendys was a burger joint.

    • oldmanNZ

      there are two franchise with similar names.

      • johcar

        … Just like Burger King and Hungry Jack’s …. ohhh,wait…

      • dgrogan

        Well, that’ll be one of the problems right there. Time for a re-brand.

  • Grizz30

    Never eaten at Kiwi Yo, but whoever said it was healthy? Their yogurt is probably sweetened with lots of sugar and people sprinkle yet more sugar on it for flavour. Sugar or fat. It does not matter, the body just stores it as fat anyway.

  • unitedtribes

    If you really thought like a leftie you would have called on the Gumit to nationalise Wendy’s

    • Heather Baugh

      More likely we’d be blaming the government for the demise of Wendy’s and
      Complaining about the loss of jobs.

  • Mad Captain

    I was always gutted when McDonalds bought Georgie Pie and promptly shut them down. Brutal way to deal with the competition, worthy of a left wing caucus.

    But we haven’t forgotten, have we? I’ll still vote for mince and cheese pie, and no I wouldn’t like your fries with that.

  • Catriona

    Crikey Kiwi Yo – ever thought you are contributing to the obesity rates in NZ? With all that crap you put on your product, you most certainly are.
    Just a plain old ice cream for me will do thanks.

  • In Vino Veritas

    If you were putting yourself in the shoes of the left, you would nationalise Wendy’s (because, as we know, the left are infallibly good at identifying “winners”), regulate the prices they could charge for their sundaes, the workforce of each Wendy’s outlet would be paid the “living wage”, have a uniform of a kaftan and sandals and be given free tofu for lunch and the landlord would have his lease regulated (even if they were making a loss, the taxpayer would subsidise that loss). A leftist would fund University boffins to study the lack of nutritional value of Kiwi-yo products and then make them put a generic coloured cover over their lollies and have generic labels on their yoghurt.

  • Kelvinmyhero

    ‘They say you need to walk a mile in a person’s shoes before you can even begin to understand them.’

    The other benefit of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes is that when you stop you’ll be a mile away from them and you’ll also have their shoes.

  • Bluemanning

    Wendys are franchise businesses which have to run under certain franchise rules including the product marketing, a bit like the labour party that has to be directed and run by the unions.:-)

    • MrBarrington

      So is KiwiYo and all its acolytes…

  • Steely Man

    I love kiwi yo. You pay by the weight of what you eat and i can feed a whole family with a treat for cheaper than Wendys. Having said that the Wendys at Bayfair has seen off the competition and kiwiyo has closed down. You might have to move to Tauranga

    • MaryLou

      Have you tried to feed teenagers at Kiwi Yo? I have two, and need a second job to make that a common occurrence. Well over $13 each.

      Hang on – they’re teenagers. They can get their own dang jobs.

      • Steely Man

        Now you are on to it Mary Lou. It is a requirement (in our household) to taste using the little pottles first. By the time they have tasted every flavour they are filling up -on the healthy stuff.
        There is only so much they can fit into the smallest containers – if they want a big one it is a meal and not a treat. On this site we often lambaste people for not controlling what their kids eat. We should be likewise responsible.

  • Sunshine

    I thought Wendy’s was overpriced anyway. Quite glad they are no more, one less crap food place, never understood the attraction. I would rather eat real ice cream.

  • damm good thrashing

    The kiwi yo at Manukau mall is doing well. No wonder there are so many ‘poor’ in south auckand