3 reasons why I won’t work for Andrew Little

Employ Slater?

Employ Slater?

Andrew Little has announced that I won’t be in contention for their advertised role for chief spin weasel in the Leader’s office.

The Labour leader stops short of saying the new communications director has to vote Labour, but says they need to be sympathetic to the cause.

“We don’t expect to employ Cameron Slater,” says Mr Little.

Be that as it may, it was always unlikely that I’d work for Andrew Little.  

Here are my top three reasons:

3. The party largely lacks grace and talent. They have a lot of thoroughly ugly, graceless and talentless hacks as MPs when far more capable people should be promoted up the list or placed in winnable seats. Instead they have the likes of Trevor Mallard, Carmel Sepuloni, Megan Woods, and Sue Moroney taking up space their benches. Most of these people have a face for radio and a body for “Biggest Loser”.

2. Socialists are notoriously bad payers…and to be frank, even though they will be dipping into the taxpayers pockets, I doubt they could afford me after all the publicity they helpfully provided me by continually naming me in parliament more than 300 times last year.

1. Andrew Little fails the most important rule of all. I simply refuse to work with dickheads. Andrew Little is like the guy who always runs out the other batsmen as he collects singles in a lack lustre innings. He might score a century, but the team loses the test match.

So, tough luck Andrew Little, I wouldn’t work with you anyway.

There are of course many Labour MPs that I would and do work with…Andrew Little isn’t one of them.

I fully expect that Little has over the holiday break assigned some “heavy” hitter to continue to push Dirty Politics and attack me and John Key in the mistaken belief, that unlike last year, this year it will work…somehow…fingers crossed.

The sad thing is, even though they have discounted employing me, they really should have tried to hire me, they might win then if they did.

– 3News


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  • bart jackson

    So to continue the cricket analogy youre saying Angry Little is the Ross Taylor of Politics? Sorry Rossco but you do have previous form for it, if the cap fits…

    • Cadwallader

      Ross has talent heaps of talent despite no longer being the Captain. Little Angry is talentless, graceless and directionless. He couldn’t get a run if it was a bye. Continuing the cricket analogy Brendan McCullum is clearly a JK and his brother a Bill English, Stephen Joyce at least a Trent Bolt with Crusher soldiering the quick attack from the other end. The only opposition involvement in the Black caps would be Nanaia as a sight-screen at a Day/Night fixture and Russel could be the invited Aussie comments man: “I have my doubts that those pads are made with renewable energy….”

  • Pluto

    I don’t think you’d last very long anyway, he doesn’t want to hear the truth.

  • Garbageman

    Curious to know if this means comrade McCarten is being replaced or is this a seperate role

    • caochladh

      Being a Union man of the same era as AA, McCarten would surely know where all the bodies are buried and what books have been cooked. I imagine McCarten will be kept very close.

    • Isherman

      Seperate role, this role is a Media Adviser, whereas McCarten is Chief of Stasi, err.. I mean ‘Staff’ (for the time being anyway).

  • Lance Ralph

    Speaking as a self-employed person it is my experience that rich folk are the worst payers (KDC anyone ?).

    Speaking also as a self-employed person i am wondering, since learning that Mr Little considers employers to be parasites, am I a self -parasitiser?

    • peterwn

      No. Andy has indicated that Labour wants to ‘organise’ the self employed and small business people. Probably means he wants to form unions or similar organisations for them to broaden the Labour Party funding base.

      Seems rich folk are not only bad at paying their bills, but some rich folk (ie judges) seem hell bent on clawing back money paid to self employed ans small businesses (ie building subbies) when the big boys go bust. But this is getting off topic.

  • Aucky

    If it was me Cameron I would add a fourth reason.

    Andrew Little has absolutely no moral mandate to be Leader of the Opposition and absolutely no claim on the office of Prime Minister. He has been soundly rejected by his constituents, soundly rejected by the Labour Party membership and soundly rejected by his parliamentary colleagues. He is Leader of the Labour Opposition only because of some very doubtful electoral practises that Little and his fellow unionists managed to foist on the party presumably in exchange for campaign funding.

    It’s a total jack-up and would be a blight on our democracy if Little was ever able to buy his way into leading our country.

    • FredFrog

      He hasn’t been rejected by his constituents – He’s never had any! He’s been soundly rejected by his electorate every time he’s stood, though.

      • Aucky

        Pedantic, Fred?

        • FredFrog

          Much. Just wanted to point out that he’s never in his life had any constituents, which really makes the whole idea of him leading the party just so completely pathetic

      • Cadwallader

        Angry’s connection to New Plymouth is no more tenable than should Obama seek to be President of Kenya in a few years time. Some family connection but otherwise disdainful.

  • Sally

    There are plenty of left-wing media people who would be keen.
    But I really think Pam Corkery will have the inside running after all she has had plenty of experience!

    • Dave

      Hahaha Sqwakery and Little, thats 5 to many egos for their 3 ring circus, wouldnt last more thena a day.

      • Cadwallader

        I don’t care what happens to Corkery provided she never infects the air-waves again with her little mate the self-preening lapdog, Roxborogh.

    • spanishbride

      And she is currently unemployed so a match made in heaven really.

  • Lord Evans

    Little is just an angrier version of Cunliffe, and if Labour employ the same tactics they will achieve the same or worse results.

    • Cadwallader

      There is a difference between Cunners and Angry. While Angry is a graceless man he does not exude the pompous born-to-rule air which Cunners couldn’t conceal. Both are about as electable as amoeba.

      • Lord Evans

        The fact Little Andy mentions Cam is telling me he sees the blog as a threat. Hi Andy, I know you,re reading this. No doubt you make out that you’re only reading it to mock us poor deluded right wingers, sucked into the imaginary world of a sociopath. Tell me Andy, how does it feel to be poised on the brink of political destruction? Or perhaps you will surprise us and come out with something truly memorable, but this time for all the right reasons. Good luck.

  • Rex

    Angry to me appears to be totally devoid of any personality or charm. A right cold fish.

  • dgrogan

    Ha, ha. Brilliant rebuttal, Cam.

  • peterwn

    Lisa Owen was not sure whether the TV3 item counted as one of the two positive stories of the week that Andy is after – but hey! it was positive from Cameron’s point of view.

  • edee

    Lets face it Angry Andy is going to need all the help he can get .. and then some. Apparently part of the Job Description is to increase Angry Andy’s Facebook likes to 40,000. Any one else find that a little disturbing? Why should the tax payer pay anything just so the Little One has more likes than he already has. Wouldn’t the cost however great or small (It could be a full time job achieving that particular goal) be better spent on more important issues. Who really gives a toss, apart from Andy how many likes he has.

    • dgrogan

      Obviously McCarten thinks ‘Facebook likes’ will translate into votes. Talk about deluded.

      • Cadwallader

        If this were true, Miley Cyrus would be in the White House!

  • Wallace Westland

    See that’s the thing isn’t it? I’ve said before that I’d be in the Labour demographic, Waitakere man sort of thing…but I’m not.
    There is no way I could chuck my lot in with people that have never worked an honest day in their lives (take a note Jacinda & Grant) that despise people that do work hard (which butcher do you shop at?) and earn a decent living and are happy to sell off the country’s economy so long as it keeps them in power.
    Can’t do it.

  • Orange

    No mention of being on the take from big business? They need a totally new team that Cunliffe can come back and lead.

  • ken

    Andrew Little has has the luxury of the xmas break to shield him from close scrutiny,I would expect him lucky to be in control of the Labour Party by this time next year.

  • Steve (North Shore)

    Andrew Little looks like a man that should have a beard. He doesn’t, so what is he hiding?
    Then first of all I would only work for someone who knows how to work. Andrew Little is a scumbag user and abuser

  • J Ryan

    Summed up well. Angry has as much charisma as a wet blanket. The left took seriously Nanaia Mahuta, so that says it all. Like the definition of thickness. Big, bawling and useless. Imagine her on the world stage. I don’t like to be rude, but hey know your place, and it aren’t politics. Other than the freebies, which for some is to irresistible for their snouts.

  • spanishbride

    Very funny that they admit that they are looking to employ a Spin doctor but discount employing the best in the business. Even by discounting you they are admitting that you do what they want this person to do.

  • david

    Cam you are giving him far more oxygen than he deserves. Remember ”any publicity is good publicity’. Labour did it for you, now you seem determined to return the favour.