The killer cow-led revolt against humans cost $20M in 2013-2014

Killer cows

They are out to get us, and ACC has the proof hat the cows are after us, but they are playing it down by mentioning all the other species first!

More than 50,000 people made ACC claims for animal-related injuries in 2013/2014, including everything from shark attacks, seal bites and even a laceration under an eye caused by a passing magpie.

About $20 million was claimed and dog and horse-related injuries proved most costly, according to ACC figures released to NZ Newswire.

The dog attacks included a canine running into a person’s leg, causing it to be twisted, and another hitting a person in the face.

The injuries ranged from cat scratches to more bizarre situations, such as a Kiwi who was injured while attempting to kill an eel by punching it in the head.

A beachgoer was bitten by a seal on their bum cheek and a fisherman suffered baby shark bites to their toes through shoes.

Of the 284 Kiwis hurt by pigs, one was head-butted by an escaping beast while another suffered back pain after lifting a particularly heavy porker.

Some New Zealanders were injured while helping out their animal friends, including a person who was bitten while saving a mouse from a cat, and another who was kicked while trimming an alpaca’s nails.

Cattle, horse and sheep may account for a large proportion of the claims, but ACC said it was due to the greater numbers of those animals in the country and not a cause for alarm.

“The number of cattle, sheep and horse related injuries is proportional, and not because these animals present a greater danger,” it said in a statement.

See?   They’re trying to pretend there is no cow-led uprising.   Yes, there are more, but there are more attacks on humans because of it.   It’s the actual attacks that should be counted, not a precentage!  The cows must be dealt with.

I think it’s time we stop pandering to bovine terrorist cell enablers like Cows4me.  Enough is enough.

– 3 News



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  • Richard Holden

    Cows with guns

  • chef01

    You beat me to it. always check cows for underslung holsters.

  • Reaper

    Meanwhile a British farmer has been forced to turn half his murderous herd of Nazi cows into sausages.

    • Platinum Fox

      It’s fascinating that the remaining six cattle are calm and his farm is now peaceful, whereas the seven which became sausages were deemed to be killers.

      I do wonder why the animals slaughtered yielded no steaks or other higher valued cuts and were only turned into sausages. I read somewhere that the German breeders crossed Spanish fighting bulls with Highland cattle, along with primitive breeds from Corsica and Hungary. I can accept that a cattle breed based on genes derived from Spanish fighting bulls may not yield prime beef, but surely there would have been some parts of the carcasses that would have been suitable for a slow braise?

      • Reaper

        I would have thought so too. I breed Highlands and they produce excellent steaks due to high marbling content. Interesting that they say those ones taste like venison.

  • cows4me

    “bovine terrorist cells”, given the sheer amount of posts about feral humans on this blog cows could be looked upon as highly civilised . Yes they have their moments don’t we all. 20 mill would be very small change given the return they bring into the country. Cows are lovely animals, it’s how you treat them. Just yesterday we had a family of tourists stop outside the house, the cows were in the paddock around the house. The small children were feeding them grass though the fence and a small group of cows had formed to sniff the kids, they were thrilled to be next to such large curious animals that offered no threat at all.

    • peterwn

      How many were bulls? I remember this cute friendly little bull calf on my aunt’s farm years ago. He was retained as a backstop if AI failed on one of the cows (the farm was sufficiently remote that they separated the milk and just sent the cream to the factory, feeding the skim to pigs). Next time I saw him, he was a fully fledged Jersey bull and I kept my distance.

      • cows4me

        I have a couple of bulls you can lightly rub but I wouldn’t trust them. There are always those bulls that are just plan bad and only last a season but most are fine if handled quietly and confidently, they smell fear if you are not sure of yourself.

        • The Accountant

          Got a goat exactly the same. Look them in the eye and smile, they are putty. Frown or grimace and best run for the fence.

          • Imogen B

            Used to have a hen like that. Nasty piece of work. Bullied the other hens mercilessly and thought she could treat people that way too.

    • Wallace Westland

      Just as I typed “What’s a cow?” an image of my ex wife popped into my head and I went..Oh…yeah right… “large curious animals” but I don’t remember this bit…” that offered no threat at all”

  • Jaffa
  • Murray Smith

    One mis-steak could be lethal.

  • This is udder rubbish

  • caochladh

    Cows appreciate good music. I always had a great audience leaning over the fence when I played my bagpipes at the family homestead opposite Ambury Farm.

  • Davo42

    I am thinking Cam may have been reading Animal Farm by Orwell, or more likley looking at Gary Larsen cartoons recently.

  • Dave_1924

    About time the killer Cows meme was resurrected!

    EDIT: removed the link re Nazi Cows as I see its in a post below

  • Yeahright

    Back when I was a teenager I was helping Dad get in the Cows and calves, of course the cows didn’t like their calves getting taken off them. One time my gumboot got stuck in the mud as a cow charged me, boom, me in mud as well. All I could think of was the cow getting up on its hind legs like a horse and stamping on me, luckily it’s not a horse and just went to its calve. Just a wee bit scared, ego bruised, no injury!