Vacancy: Human Bullet Impact Tester – $80,000 per year

Who would apply for that?  Well, as long as you’re talking paintball “bullets”, quite a few apparently.


Having paintballs shot at you for a living may not sound appealing.

But an unusual job advert for a Human Bullet Impact Tester at UKPaintball has attracted more than 10,000 applications from around the world.

The firm, which operates at 60 locations across the UK, said it had received expressions of interest for the £40,000-a-year job from as far away as India, the United States, Canada and Croatia.

To be honest, it’s clearly an overpaid job if you get 10,000 applicants.  

Paintballing in the Ukraine

Candidates’ comments included: ‘I’m a rugby player… so I know physical pain. I can also break watermelon with my head.

‘I always dreamed of being face-covered by paint while screaming so I think I can be the perfect tester.’

Another hopeful candidate said he was fat – so easier to aim at.

‘It’s going to be a real struggle attempting to whittle down the thousands of applicants to just one. We have been so incredibly inundated with amazing candidates wanting the job that we are now considering an X Factor-style bootcamp for the a final 10, to see just who can handle being shot for a living.’

I suspect they’ll have TV crawling all over them for the rights.  I’m not sure if I’m different to many others, but I would watch a program where ten people are being shot with paintballs through increasingly brutal methods until the winner is left standing.

– Daily Mail


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  • conwaycaptain

    Maybe the Greens can apply. That is about the level of their competence

    • MAWG

      no shortage of shooter volunteers then?

  • Kelvin

    The winner would have to be the one who could take a full frontal nude nut shot from close range without wincing.
    Which would also stop any of that take your kids to work day.

    • ex-JAFA

      Could be a job for me, then. I once took 10 shots in a couple of seconds from a “machine gun” right up the clakka from about 20cm. I walked funny for quite a while.

  • cows4me

    The job should have contracted out to WINZ, send some of our bone idle.

  • BlitzkriegNZ

    Only a complete noob calls them bullets, and you wouldn’t need to shoot someone to test them. Doesn’t look legit at all.
    Fresh paint barely hurts anyway unless you get bunkered in the ear or the sack.