Whaleoil Backchat

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  • willtin

    When will Gareth Morgan proclaim himself, the President of New Zealand?

    • willtin

      Answer = never. He wants our country named Aotearoa. Cool name but it hardly ‘flows off the tongue’ of the average Kiwi, let alone other peoples’.
      Edit:Grandma

      • D.Dave

        He was probably also a firm advocate of renaming Telecom to Spark. What a balls up that one has been.

    • mommadog

      I fully expect him to stand to for parliament at some stage but not sure if he will go red or green. He is a rich man with too much time on his hands so likes to find ways to tell everyone else what to do as he doesn’t have to find a real job. Yes I’m envious. Must be a nice lifestyle. However, and this is the part that annoys me the most, he also sucks up to wherever he is at and its become predictable and disingenuous. Goes to North Korea – they are ok there good blokes, no problems with communism. Goes to Ratana Pa – oh everything is fine there too except for those bad white folks (pretending he’s not one himself) and what they have done to the Maori. I cant be the only one that cringes every time he opens his mouth.

      • john Doe

        He found out only 3 days ago that his children have Maori blood. Were they conceived in a dark movie theatre? What planet has he been on?

        • willtin

          You are bringing back too many memories

          I think he adopted some child/children?

        • mommadog

          I missed that piece of news. Perhaps that’s why he’s acting as one of those born again idiots that want to force their new found beliefs on everyone else.

        • Disinfectant

          I heard this but thought he said his “grandchildren” which makes it even more puzzling.

      • Dave

        He will be expecting a call from Angry Andy after your suggestion. In Angry Andys mind it will go. “Hey Gareth, we have a deal for you, come over to Fraser house and we will lay on the best commie caviar to discuss us offering you the Rongatai seat, and deputy leaders position, what’s that, no you won’t need to do anything, just bring your signing pen and your cheque book, this is a deal you can’t resist Gareth” kaChing, Who said Angry Andrew can’t fund raise?

      • Gaynor

        All the publicity is for his new book .

    • Cadwallader

      I prefer his forthcoming announcement as President For (a short) Life of North Korea. I suspect it is his natural domicile.Il-Gareth-Kim-Jong? I think that has a splendid ring to it. Then let him sort out inequality.

      • Alright

        Gareth (of course) thinks North Korea is maligned. Toured it, didn’t he, and talked it up. He should go and live there. That would be fine by me.

    • pak

      Probably never. He announced today the country’s name should be changed to Aotearoa-New Zealand. I always thought that was tautology.

    • bluemerle

      Or when will he start his own political party? You heard it here first!

      • Nige.

        It will be the “Rich communists party of aotearoa”

  • Alright

    Regarding Gareth Morgan and his self promotion. His most objectionable perspective to Larry Williams this afternoon: “Maori and Pakeha represent two different societies.”

    He has very obviously gone certifiably mad.

    • Reaper

      So he wants to set up some sort of apartheid system? Because that worked so well, didn’t it?

      • Alright

        And rename the country, as a number of third world dictatorships have..

  • yossarian

    I do not care what Gareth Morgan thinks, on any issue. Who the hell does he think he is, labelling Pakeha as “ignorant”? Not sorry for saying so he says, well I’m not sorry for saying I don’t care what you think Gareth. Do us all a favour, shut up and go away and take your supercilious and condescending attitudes with you. Just sayin’.

    • john Doe

      Agree. He has turned into an inimical, gibbering idiot who has too much time on his hands. Who the hell does he think he represents with his condescending comments. He has small dog syndrome.

    • chrisgale

      I know my family history. I know my NZ history, for I read it before the revisionists shat all over the data. Morgan has only read the fashionable accounts.

      And he forgets the first rule of scholarship — go to the original documents. You then find that the Maori were adapting to the new circumstances and had a fluid society: they were reforming after their own genocidal tribal wars. And the land wars, were, from the Maori position, a civil war between those loyal to the crown and loyal to the iwi and a nascent nationalism.

    • Skydog

      Its all right for Morgan to want change after he’s made his millions. It’s all right jack, I’m all sorted. I invested in GM kiwisaver in the early days. Never did any good, got out and done very well thanks to Westpac.

      Something very strange has happened to that man. I once thought he was worth listening to.

    • Second time around

      Ignorance is the one thing Gareth (“sorry to be a Pakeha”) Morgan can lead us in. He is truly outstanding, but, modest as he is, is unaware of how accomplished he is.

    • Dave

      Then a question for Gareth – do your children consider themselves Maori or pakeha, oh, gee Gareth, you didn’t think that one through did you?

  • caochladh

    Morgan should be sent to the moon where he can spend the rest of his days mining green cheese. The idiot is without a doubt in the running for the fruit-loop of the year award.

    • chrisgale

      Too early. Parliament is not in session, and our local moronettes are still on holiday. Though the stupid is strong overseas at present: the best last week was banning the V monologues because it may offend any trans women.

      • MaryLou

        Heh heh – whose done that?

        • chrisgale
          • MaryLou

            Sigh… Once I’d comment on something like that with “Only in America…” but unfortunately the stupidity is spreading.

            Not that I ever found anything remotely good about the Monologues anyway…

          • Cowgirl

            That’s nuts – now we can’t even mention body parts we legitimately own?

          • MaryLou

            No. No you can’t, because someone else was unlucky enough not to get them too. Not quite sure what the solution is, not like we can share…

          • Cowgirl

            Don’t even get me started on whether a man dressed in women’s clothing -with or without a manufactured vagina – constitutes an authentic experience of womanhood anyway, but does this now mean we can all picket productions of ‘Hedwig and the Angry Inch’ for not being inclusive towards those of us who are happy with our original bits?

          • Sunshine

            Love that movie.

          • Saggy

            Vagina

    • Ilovelife

      I would say it is fairly obvious that he was bullied at school and now he is “showing them”

  • Aucky

    There are some major seismic shifts going on in the international finance markets right now – imagine if Cunliffe was in charge. Did we ever dodge a bullet on 20 September.

    • MaryLou

      And my favourite analyst Tony Alexander has just sent out his one and only weekly update for 2015. NOW where will I find financial information that actually makes sense to some one not in the industry?? End of an era…

      • Cadwallader

        What’s happened to Mr Alexander?

        • MaryLou

          Decided there’s too much information readily available to warrant a weekly overview. Darnit – I came to quite trust his words, and really have no idea where to look next.

        • Platinum Fox

          His note says that he will be sending out a “monthly product” named the NZ Observer.
          I tend to agree with Tony that people are too focussed on short term issues and that economists would be better focussed on providing forward looking strategic analysis.
          He’s right in saying that data, commentary and information is readily available from a variety of sources and that many readers probably receive too many inputs so (at best) only skim read what they receive.
          I (and many of my former colleagues) used to receive daily market updates and research emails (sometimes as many as seven a day). Though I cannot speak for my former colleagues, I seldom read them as I felt that my time was better spent actually doing my job rather than on maintaining the most up to date personal knowledge base of matters which often had no direct relevance to my work. If I had a specific need, I could always access the relevant research.

  • Cadwallader

    Last night there was discussion of the attributes of the typical contributor here. I think there is one indelible trait: A health skepticism/disdain for the msm. Is that fair?

    • mommadog

      From my perspective and I can really only speak for myself, it’s absolutely fair.

    • MaryLou

      I reckon that’s fair, but that it becomes that, not necessarily starts with that. I think initial visits come from more just a general dissatisfaction of current media – the disdain comes later!

    • yossarian

      IMO the MSM is pretty much incompetent. The days when journalists, commentators and media opinion writers had experience and competence are long gone. I give some marks to Chris Trotter, love or hate him, Karl du Fresne and maybe there are a couple of others I can’t name right now, but there are very few among the current lot who come within a bull’s roar of the veterans of the past whose views were usually well considered and moderately argued, even if their politics weren’t to your liking. By comparison, today’s lot are either too young and inexperienced to know what they are talking about, or too stupid and/or unprofessional to know how to stop their political bias dominating what they write or say.

    • Pluto

      At the time I became a WO reader I didn’t have a great opinion of msm, but still subscribed to the herald and read Stuff etc.
      It’s the backstory you get here, “sunlight” as it’s so well described. Suddenly KDC’s poor friend who was detained unfairly for 7 hours is revealed as a Syrian hacker with Nazi sympathies and a former bitcoin trader !
      There’s no way back for the msm for me.

    • Nige.

      i was hoping it was the loathing of socialism and the fact that most people who visit this site realize that everything that the labour and green parties do is to further the goal of global government based on communism and 100% tax as well as a new class system based on the population blindly obeying the bureaucrat….But i may be sadly misguided.

      • Wallace Westland

        No. At the end of the day I think you are onto it.
        the MSM is just a sideshow for well you know..& giggles.

      • Caprice

        Parliament is on holiday, our minds wander.

      • Don W

        They want to take away our individual freedoms and turn us into slaves for their benefit. We must not let that happen.

      • Cadwallader

        I didn’t say the trait was exclusive. What you say about Greenies and Socialists is a given if you disdain the msm.

        • Nige.

          yes. I WAS going to end with “…oh yeah. Pretty much the same thing.”

    • D.Dave

      My father taught me, “Be skeptical about everything you do not have personal knowledge of..” so as a result I place my faith in my ability to sift out the BS. Normally I am pretty much spot on. I have no time for ‘big noters’ or mouthy gits, who want to tell you how great they are. I put a lot of faith in people who can demonstrate the ability to debate with rationality, and humour. That is why I enjoy WO.

  • Richard

    Took my daughter to the pools today and I was soon being the dive platform as she would climb onto my shoulders and leap off into the water.

    A handful of boys from the local health camp decided this looked like fun and I was soon obliging them as well.

    Every one was having great fun until the 20 stone lanyard wearing minder from the health camp starts screaming at me across the pool to stop doing that to those boys, and they were all ordered back to the side of the pool where they continued to swim around bored as all hell.

    I couldn’t quite put my finger on the reason the fun Nazi had put a halt to proceedings.

    Was it,

    1: This extremely dangerous (sarc) activity did not comply with the health camp safety rules.
    2: The boys are not allowed to come into contact with adult males as part of the health camp policy.
    3: The 20 stone lanyard wearing fun nazi was jealous she was missing out on the fun

    • Alright

      Definitely a combination of all 3. Re #3: probably Rachael Smalley’s sister, or cousin.

      • Richard

        Yes, but the thing is only two days ago, I was doing the exact same thing, with the same group of boys (that’s how they recognised me).
        Only that time there was a male minder in place and he seemed to have no problem with it.
        I am not sorry for being a man.

        • Alright

          Sometimes (often actually) you just simply can’t win.

    • Nige.

      perhaps she is a failed parking meter maid?

    • Dave

      Or, she was trying to save your life. Thinking if that old guy tires or has a heart attack with all those boys jumping off him, I would have to get in and give him Mouth to Mouth – OUT!

      • Richard

        Except I’m only 38 and can dig footings in clay, all day, in the hot sun, while the 18 year old apprentices drop like flies all round me.

        • rantykiwi

          They don’t make apprentices like they used to.

          • MaryLou

            My father in law at 76 still can’t find apprentices or labourers who can keep up. A source of frustration for him, no small amusement for us!

    • Cadwallader

      I think Richard ought be nominated:”Whale Oil Father Of The Year!”

      • Dave

        Parental father of the year that is!

      • Richard

        I appreciate the sentiment Cad, but like my old man used to often tell me “there’s always someone worse off than you and there’s always someone better at what you do…so pull your head in boy”.

  • mommadog

    I haven’t looked at the Herald for months but today I had reason to. While on their web site I looked at the news headlines and found what might be the most important article of the year. I guess how important is up to everyone to decide individually. You have been warned folks, and by the Herald no less – http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=11390338

    • caochladh

      What you need to do is wear some rubber bands around your wrist and whenever you get the urge to visit Granny, just stretch the bands and let them go.

    • Iva b ginn

      “Oh my golly gosh”!! I didn’t know that it had a bone in it…Hahaha

      • MaryLou

        Neither did I!! And still can’t see how it’s even possible. Ah well, you can learn new stuff at any age…

    • jude

      I wonder what Nige will do with this topic for tomorrow nights back chat?

    • “a “wrong way penetration”.”

      Isn’t that a win?

      • MaryLou

        For who???!

        Edit: Scrub that.

      • Nige.

        Now, that is a useless study worth paying for!

    • Wallace Westland

      Why?….why did I click the link…sigh…I was warned

  • Nige.

    Jude answered last nights question with; “house maid at a local motor Inn.Lets just say, it was educational!”

    What is your most memorable experience with staying at a hotel/motel or someone else’s house?

    • MaryLou

      Nige – with that question I reckon you’ll need your MOD’s hat screwed on real tight!!

      • jude

        Yes ha ha!!
        At risk of being moderated this early in the evening, we used to find lots of Playboy / penthouse magazines ,carefully hidden under mattresses or at the top of wardrobes. Once the maids on the floor had a quick peek, we would put it down the laundry shoot so that June ( the laundry lady) in the laundry had a laugh:)

      • Nige.

        hey, im not asking for photos!

        • MaryLou

          Words can tell a story more vivid than an image…

          • Nige.

            “the imagination” can tell a story more vivid than an image.

          • MaryLou

            Yes – that’s what I was after. Some kind of corruption of an image is worth a thousand words… backwards

    • Aucky

      Definitely in Port Douglas. The previous occupants of the room had loaded up the top of the ceiling fan blades with a mixture of french chalk and confetti. The housemaid obviously hadnt turned on the fan when servicing the room but we did immediately upon entering. Bloody Aussies!

    • john Doe

      Owned a motel for years. Colin Meads coming to the door to receive his breakfast in hi Y fronts was an imposing and memorable experience.

      • Wendy

        Ewwww!

      • Carl

        Hope you got his autograph.

      • Richard

        Is that how he got the name of “Pine Tree”?

    • Dumrse

      Memorable for the wrong reasons. Finding ladies clothing including unmentionables under a cushion on the sofa. The establishment was distraught when advised of the state of the room.

      • caochladh

        I was just thinking…had Morgan found them, he would have probably worn them.

    • pak

      Was at the very nice Sofitel in L.A. few years back. At around 2 a.m. a couple started having a screaming match outside my door waking me up. Began to sound very sinister so decided to call down to Security. Noises stopped shortly after. Next day I was upgraded to a huge 3 room suite – even a TV over bath(!), and each day rest of my stay a bottle of wine, plate of chocolates, cookies, snacks and fresh flowers miraculously appeared!

    • Wallace Westland

      I’d be banned if I answered that!

      • Nige.

        c’mon. HINT!

        • Wallace Westland

          Well the room was one of those ones that you could also have the next room, adjoining I believe they are called…anyway I didn’t realise and didn’t check to see if it was locked…so at a very interesting time…..ho hum…

    • Yeahright

      I was with my parents in a Hotel in Singapore, ( a while ago now), there was a very pretty waitress so I asked if I could have a photo with her so I could show my mates. She went away and asked her boss and then came back and said ” I finish my shift in two hours!!” Damn wish my parents weren’t there.

    • Dave

      1) Hotel, at a conference as MC / organizer, noted our CEO had a room close to a junior (young and attractive female) sales associate. I was woken early one morning by security and the manager asking to verify he was with us…..

      He had gone “visiting”, burst in almost naked to the WRONG ROOM proclaiming something about a meal and his manhood. Unfortunately, the person in that room was not who he thought, and when doing surprise visits to young sales associates late at night, one should firstly check room numbers.

      Not the thing to do in downtown KL. short version, is he was detained by security and escorted to the airport the next morning. Official version given at the mornings briefing, he had to return on urgent business matters. Young sales associate was very very quiet for the remaining conference

    • Cowgirl

      Once got shown into a hotel room that already had occupants. Not sure how the hotel managed that.

      • Don W

        I hope that the occupants were behaving decently.;)

        • Cowgirl

          They fortunately weren’t there, but we were alone with their belongings for several minutes until we figured out that someone must already be in there and notified the front desk. It wasn’t a good look, but our stay there was a bit of a comedy of errors. We got a significant discount in the end for all the stuff-ups.

          • Don W

            Going into a room where there is other peoples things would be unnerving. It would make me feel like a trespasser.

          • ex-JAFA

            Same thing happened to me at the Heritage in Auckland. At first I thought it was odd that the complimentary toiletries seemed to be partly used, but finding clothes and suitcases in the wardrobe clued me up smartly. I was promptly upgraded to a suite. Sweet!

    • Wendy

      We were staying at an apartment on the Gold Coast when the children were young. It was a multi level building.

      So the boys all trooped downstairs for an ice cream. When they came back up they mistakenly stopped at the floor below, and as they walked into what they thought was our room (the door was unlocked) they stumbled (almost literally) upon a woman behaving in a most unladylike manner. Cough… On her own… Cough.

      • Betty Swallocks

        Watching test cricket?

      • jude

        My twin had a similar experience although she was the housemaid and nobody answered when she called out “housemaid”!
        I think some people just did that for the shock value:)

    • Cadwallader

      Moving in to Mr de Malmanche’s room in Bali, 3 hours after his arrest…no, just made that one up!

    • Betty Swallocks

      Mrs BS and I went to Crete in 2001 and stayed in a little guest house right on the beach just outside Hora Sfakion on the south coast of the island. It was family run (husband, wife, 3 kids including 2 month old baby, grandfather and grandmother.) They didn’t speak much English and we spoke less Greek, but by the end of the 10 days there we felt like family, they couldn’t do enough for us. I went beach fishing with the Grandfather most mornings – what we caught ended up on the dinner menu – but turned down a chance to go with the husband when he offered me a trip out on his boat. The only reason I turned him down was that I saw him going out on the second morning after we arrived and heard the explosions of his “fishing tackle”. Hand grenades. Lovely people though.

    • Dave

      2) years ago, probably late 80’s or early 90’s. Conferencing at Lake Rototi lodge (Nelson lakes) a beautiful part of NZ! The days activities had been a walk round the lake, as we got back a bus load of retired people were exiting their bus. After a spa, then dinner, the team held court at the bar, and eventually at 2.00 am ish, the barman was trying to close but my colleagues were trying to get him to put some porn on. Eventually a deal was done!

      They took a few roadies, and in 10 mins the porn would start on channel 1. Now, TV reception was not the best, and it didn’t go very late in those times. I was at breakfast a few hours later and ended up joining a few of the retired people, who were on a fly fishing tour. One exclaimed – you should have gone to Jims unit last night, he had a porn video on for over an hour. Turns out this group had an amazing time! I had to deny all knowledge as I was the guy in the corporate shirt.

    • jonno1

      Staying at a hotel in Miami en route from Bermuda, had an expensive perfume (unopened) stolen from our room. Notified front desk who called police. A nice young man showed up promptly(!) and asked what else was gone. “Nothing.” “I’ve never had that answer before!” he said. On departure the hotel voluntarily deducted our loss from the bill. I suspect they’re still talking about those honest Kiwi guests.

    • Richard

      I was 21 and working away from home and staying in the motor camp up on the East Cape.

      The guy I worked for loosely new a local called Diesel Dickie Maxwell, who was notoriously tied up in the Ruatoria beheading and rash of arsons in the 80’s.

      One thing led to another and we ended up in a rowdy drinking session in our unit which culminated in Diesel Dick smashing a guitar over his sisters head, complete with twanging breaking string sound effects, like a scene from a western bar brawl.

      Edit: Definitely not my most memorable Hotel/Motel experience :) but one of the more bizarre ones for sure.

      • kehua

        Ol Diesel Dick copped it bigtime didn`t he, courtesy of .303 love stories with happy endings.

        • Richard

          Bludgeoned with an oar and then held under water.

  • The dilemma of the day…pork spare ribs or steak?

    Oh to hell with it both!

    • pak

      Would that be diet portions?

      • I guess he’s on Paleo

        • Bluemanning

          Atkins.

          • Isherman

            But hold the salads?

          • caochladh

            Talking Atkins, this may inspire…………

          • Bluemanning

            No cheese!

      • dumbshit

        “seefood” and eat it

    • George Costanza

      no question, spare ribs!!! stick messy delicious ones

      • MaryLou

        Must be in large quantities though…

    • Wallace Westland

      Hate mail!!!! Rassafackn blubbergeddon…neither…sigh

    • McGrath

      Got to be ribs smothered in BBQ sauce! Not exactly a meal you can eat with grace and decorum, but there’s nothing better!

      • rantykiwi

        A large serving of ribs waved under the nose of MrsRanty’s SIL when he was on a rather pretentious vegetarian kick cured him nicely.

      • InnerCityDweller

        Ok, here’s a question. My supply of ribs has dried up. Any suggestions in Auckland?

        • Platinum Fox

          Any butcher should be able to supply (I know of one in Ponsonby and another in Parnell that do). The supermarkets generally have racks which have been slathered with dubious sauces and then vacuum packed; on the rare occasions recently when I’ve spotted racks that haven’t been pre-sauced I’ve stocked up the freezer.
          A tip: remove the membrane from the inside of the racks before freezing so that the flavour of the rub (preferably applied 24 hours before cooking) is better able to penetrate the meat. IMHO BBQ sauce is best brushed on during the cooking process (I use an angled rib rack rather than lay the racks flat on the BBQ).

          • InnerCityDweller

            Thanks PF, the two in P’by are on my list, so will check them out. Appreciate your feedback

    • Nige.

      PORK STEAK!

      • rantykiwi

        That was last night’s dinner chez ranty

    • Betty Swallocks

      Doing it pretty tough then at your place. No lamb chops as well?

      • Don W

        Mutton chops yum.

        • kehua

          Smoked eel and fresh out of the garden salad.

  • Dumrse

    Gareth Morgan’s performance today is surely a cry for attention. The mans a muffet.

    • Isherman

      Maybe the book isn’t doing as well as he hoped, so he’s making sure everyone knows about it? Y’know..the old trick of controversy as a marketing trick.

    • yossarian

      “Muffett”? Are you sure? Muffler us a very old Scottish surname, whereas Gareth Morgan doesn’t sound Scottish at all. In fact he sounds more like a git.

  • Wallace Westland

    Garth Morgan’s latest escapade into public stupidity left me agog on the way home.
    On top of renaming the country we should now be paying restitution to the gravy trainers in Maoridom that have recently peed away millions upon millions in paying off bad debts and rubbish investment (corrupt and likely illegal) for use of the beach now.
    The man is a foaming at the mouth liberal tosspot and as much use to NZ as a chocolate fireguard. Why to the media continue to give this oxygen thief airtime?

    Edit: “investment” not just rubbish

    • Alright

      Agreed. It is typically third world despots who change the names of countries.

    • jonesboy70

      How do you annoy complete strangers?? Interested

      • Wallace Westland

        Stick around. It’s a gift….one tries not to abuse it :-)

    • Don W

      May be Gareth sampled too many funny flowers when he was doing his motor bike trips in the Asian region.

    • sheppy

      They always give time to stupidity, it’s their preferred subject matter.

    • pak

      Ha! Don’t hold back Wallace!

    • fred flintstone

      In the old days when Kingseat mental hospital was open,they would give the poor sad muttonhead the Probes to the head.

  • Lord Evans

    I intend to grow old gracefully, (a euphemism for getting old and fat and not looking after myself) so I won’t be going under the knife to prolong my fabulous looks. What do others think about plastic surgery?

    • jude

      I am avoiding unless there is surgery for instance because of an accident or heaven forbid, cancer. The cosmetic surgery in that case I feel quite comfortable.
      I intend to age disgracefully and have a fine time doing it:)

      • Lord Evans

        I’m not bothered greatly what others want to do with their own bodies as a purely cosmetic procedure. Some of these ‘enhancements’ are bizarre though e.g. Male pectoral implants. For heavens sake man, do some push-ups! The pic is actually off a medical mishap, but it shows the before and after well.

        • Cowgirl

          Should have stuck with the ‘before’ body I reckon – now he looks bizarre.

        • 1951

          That would have been better if he came here and threw some fence posts in the ground for me.

          • Lord Evans

            That would be too hard though, much easier to get some quack to shove silicone balloons in you. They look so real… Yeah right.

          • Don W

            Do you need someone to put in some fence posts.?

          • 1951

            I have been waiting for the chap that grazes his calves to do it. He is owing me. Funny the council had to rebuild part of the road so they replaced half which was lucky for him. Since then the gorse has shot away on the ground they moved, so now our grazier has two big jobs.

          • Don W

            If you weren’t so far away I would come and do it for you. I would deal with the gorse too.

          • 1951

            Nice offer Don. I feel I can’t put pressure on this guy as his wife died a couple of years ago at the age of 47 and he just seems to cope but no more. It is a job that can wait ’til he is ready. Thanks anyway.

          • Don W

            You are welcome 1951.

          • Lord Evans

            Don, you weren’t just about to have implants were you mate?

          • Don W

            That’ill be the day. I am an old fencer .

          • kehua

            We are best kind, never fffffffight a fffffffit ffffffencer fffffool.

          • kehua

            Looks wierd with his skinny little arms, cack handed too I reckon.

        • Richard

          If you did suffer a surgical mishap this would have to be the one I would opt for, all that’s happened is they forgot to put the other implant in.

        • pisces8284 .

          Mr P’s look like the one on the right and he hasn’t had implants. I suggested a bra…

    • McGrath

      I’m on holiday indulging on far too much food & wine and could do with emergency liposuction…

      • Lord Evans

        I started my weight loss campaign 2 weeks ago and so far I’ve added 1kg to my snowballing fat stores. It would have been easier and less stress for me to just go and get a butt lift.

        • MaryLou

          “When Good Diets Go Bad”… you could write a book! Great money in weight loss industry!

          Edit: A Cautionary Tale

    • MaryLou

      I’d do it, but I’m a chicken and scared of needles. So, no hope for me…

      • pisces8284 .

        I admit to having Botox a few years ago and had my eyebrows tattooed today. Needles? pfft…

        • MaryLou

          Really?? You had needles THAT close to your eyes and didn’t worry about flinching?

          What happened to the Botox – you didn’t like it?

          • pisces8284 .

            Got too expensive, and it did feel a bit weird not being able to frown, but I quite liked the effect. The eyebrows weren’t too painful, maybe I have a high pain threshhold – all those years of chemo lol

          • MaryLou

            Well, yes I guess that would dampen the fear of much smaller needles. Are you all finished with chemo now?

          • pisces8284 .

            Yes, thank goodness for me self diagnosing off the internet, Wellington Hospital blood and cancer unit and a wonderful surgeon.Combined effort!

          • MaryLou

            That’s brilliant, congratulations! With so much more information out there now hopefully more people are catching it that way. And nice to hear about a good experience with hospital and surgeon – generally we only hear when things go wrong.

    • Eiselmann

      The best plastic surgery in the world couldn’t make turn my photo into my friend…so I’ll forego …each to their own of course, but short of a medically based reason I don’t really understand the need to resort to plastic to mask the real person …there have been some real disasters and who really wants to look like they would not look out of place in the Thunderbirds.

    • caochladh

      When you look around at the rich and famous who can afford the best money can buy and see some of the dreadful results, it would make you wonder if it is worth it.

      • Lord Evans

        Michael Jackson comes to mind – what a shame that a good looking, talented young guy managed to screw up his face like that. If any one could afford the best it was him.

  • JC

    I dont mind Gareth raising these issues because it gives the rest of us the right to ask “What do we get out of such a deal?

    1. Well Gareth has answered my No 1 question because in exchange we get rid of the Treaty and any group issues that impinge on our own individual freedoms and property rights.. thats a good start.

    2. No 2 also has to be answered and who better to raise the question than Tariana Turia.. (paraphrasing) “Maori have been destroyed by Pakeha welfare!”

    We can also go to Thomas Sowell for this answer in his very comparable situation with US Black post liberation from slavery..

    http://jewishworldreview.com/cols/sowell111814.php3

    An excerpt that applies directly to Maori in much the same time periods..

    “Nearly a hundred years of the supposed “legacy of slavery” found most black children being raised in two-parent families in 1960. But thirty years after the liberal welfare state found the great majority of black children being raised by a single parent.

    The murder rate among blacks in 1960 was one-half of what it became 20 years later, after a legacy of liberals’ law enforcement policies. Public housing projects in the first half of the 20th century were clean, safe places, where people slept outside on hot summer nights, when they were too poor to afford air conditioning. That was before admissions standards for public housing projects were lowered or abandoned, in the euphoria of liberal non-judgmental notions. And it was before the toxic message of victimhood was spread by liberals. We all know what hell holes public housing has become in our times. The same toxic message produced similar social results among lower-income people in England, despite an absence of a “legacy of slavery” there.”

    So, do we get a vastly reduced welfare state to help rescue the dying and corrupt culture of today so that once again the fathers are with their wives and children and parents, grandparents and leaders demand the children speak English in school and learn to take the best from two cultures so they might succeed and stand tall?

    The number three part of what deal we get is what we will do with the vast numbers of kids who are only here as a source of social welfare funding.. perhaps a majority of the biological parents are unsuited for parenthood and positively dangerous to the kids and our whole society and lets agree that farming them out to the whanau is doubly dangerous..

    Hard choices to be made for Maori to meet their side of the bargain.

    JC

    • MaryLou

      Well thought out and written JC. Makes sense, but I just can’t see Labour or the Greens ever looking at it that way… and National might think so, but would never say so.

    • Don W

      Well said . It is going to be hard to reverse this as most of these people get to vote and aren’t likely to vote for the necessary changes that are needed.They will not vote themselves out of the public trough.

    • Dave

      How dare you imply they need to do something, to meet their side of the bargain, there was no conditions for them.

  • Alright

    For memories and enjoyment. Some unsurpassed musical theartre.

  • D.Dave

    Nah, “Does the PM stand by all his Christmas cards, and if not , why not?” or some other question liable to go down in Hansard as, the most complex question ever tabled by “Dr” Norman.

  • Nesher

    Is he a human being? This terrorist literally stabs a young woman in the back.

    (sorry, the vidio is in Hebrew).

    This is what HAMAS is calling “brave and heroic action”. It is a shame, but New
    Zealand still wants to sit with them on UN benches.
    http://au.ibtimes.com/new-zealand-proposes-palestine-be-state-alongside-israel-un-security-council-1412570

    • caochladh

      I couldn’t understand why the security guard fired warning shots, then put a round in his leg. For gods sake, the mongrel was a terrorist – didn’t he deserve to die?

    • Nige.

      i felt that. eweeughh.

  • Cadwallader

    “That’s a lot of money!” This was Ms Smallbrain’s contribution to the chat she had with Larry tonight about David Bain’s compo being back on the table. Bain wants $1.5mill but I think he ought get nothing. Apparently Smallbrain suggests that because Judith Collins is no longer at the helm means Bain is in line for some dosh. The tenor of her dribbles tonight is that Bain deserves a handout, after a dozen years free board.

    • HSV325

      Bain shouldn’t get a cent. It’s not like DNA evidence has proved his innocence.

    • HR

      OMG. The guy is guilty. There is no doubt in anyone’s mind except Joe Karams, and if he was honest with himself, even he should be able to see the holes in his arguments.
      NO compensation!!!!!

      • Cadwallader

        Smallybrain taking on her default position of anti-Judith Collins/anti-National Government seems to accept Bain’s innocence and that he ought to have received compo when the vile government said “NO!” I am with you HR.

        • HR

          Pity we weren’t on one of the three juries, eh?

      • 40something

        Not a brass razoo!

        • kehua

          Karam threw out the 8 mill figure a sa hint.Dreamer.

      • JustTinkering

        Interesting that Karam is always available for TV interview when Bain didn’t know anything about it. Karam is looking for about 10 million for Bain (so he can crank his share up!

  • jude

    I did a tally of ages from people who offered there’s up on back chat last night, and roughly the split looks like this.
    Age 90: 1 Person
    Ages 80: ?
    Ages 70 -79 : 5 people.
    Age 60 -69 :11 people.
    Age 50-59 : 12 people.
    Age 40-49 : 12 people.
    Age 30-39 :3 people and the youngest was one person of 28!

    edit : 1 more person added to the 40’s and two more to 50″s and 3 more people to 70″s.Welcome also to Gunner who is a sprightly 94:)

    The edits were people giving me their ages( roughly) today.ie in which bracket if not exact.

    • Bluemanning

      Would like to hear more from Gunner.

      • jude

        Well I hope he reads tonights backchat:)

      • jude

        I posted a suggestion to join us here.I was left a comment from him on general debate.I hope he does join our discussions:)

    • Sally

      I am surprised there is not more youngsters. Maybe they don’t like to admit mixing with us on the other side of 50.

      • jude

        There may be a few who just read and maybe up vote as Guests but not comment?

      • Don W

        I think they are too in love with their I phones and don’t live in the real world.

        • rantykiwi

          RantyJr reads WOBH on his phone.

          • Don W

            You see the young people walking down the street totally engrossed in what is on their I phones that it is a wonder they don’t walk into power poles and other objects.

      • 40something

        My daughter 21 introduced me to WO but she doesn’t comment.
        All her friends read it though.

    • Yeahright

      Put me in the 30-39 group.

      • Richard

        Ditto.

        • jude

          You guys are going to keep me busy:)

          • DangerousE

            im in that one too

          • jude

            Done.

          • Nige.

            you got me ay

          • jude

            in what range nige? I have not added you or pete. Unless you tell me to

          • Nige.

            Dirty tricks….(see if you can guess that one)

          • jude

            I would put you in the young one bracket of 30-39?
            I have no idea for Pete, you may need to help me with him.

          • Dave

            Just as well you have excellent accounting skills to keep this tally going, you deserve a medal Jude!

          • jude

            I have a sheet of paper. there must be a better way:)

          • Nige.

            Yes. 36.

      • jude

        done :)

    • HSV325

      51 here

    • D.Dave

      Almost 55 growth rings here…..

      • jude

        added

    • rantykiwi

      Add me to 40-49 lot.

      And RantyJr reads daily but doesn’t post… at the ripe old age of 20.

      • jude

        done

    • yossarian

      add me to the youngsters, 60 – 69.

    • Mortality

      glides in at the 50-59 mortal coil

      • jcpry

        And me.

        • jude

          added

          • McGrath

            42 for me

          • jude

            added

          • InnerCityDweller

            48

          • jude

            now added:)

    • Tom

      32

      • jude

        done.

    • caochladh

      Clickety click.

      • jude

        My brain is starting to go numb! is that 53 for you?

        • caochladh

          66

          • pisces8284 .

            Jude doesn’t play bingo obviously…

          • jude

            It is too late at night!Why didn’t everyone play all at the same time:)

    • Chris EM

      I’m only 0.53 of a century.

      • I.M Bach

        Anything over 50 is a pass isn’t it? Congrats.

        • Chris EM

          Thank you.

    • Primrose

      Add another to your 70-79

    • Sooty

      64 for me and 223 working days.

    • HR

      40…..

    • Huia

      69 here, first time Ive seen that age written down…interesting

      • jude

        Added you in:)

    • 40something

      46 – although like Aucky said last night I feel a lot older some days.
      4 kids between 3 and 21 does that to you. Having a break away at the moment and have realised how stressed I had become. Exercising, drinking water and feeling loads better. Want to be around for my youngests kids when they get here.

      • jude

        I always remember the airline rule that was taught to us as first time Mums.
        You must look after yourself first, instinctively you will try to look after everyone else first.
        It will seem selfish at first, but if you look after your health first, you will have the energy to cope what ever life throws at you.
        I am glad you are feeling better:)

        • 40something

          Too true. This is my year of saying no to people that don’t matter – relatives, disorganised clients, time wasters. I’m on a roll and it feels great. Watching my husband and 3 of my kids on the beach today it hit me – all that matters is them and that I’m there for them. Whilst I know this anyway I needed reminding.

          • Don W

            Good on you 40 something. You husband and family are the most important priority in your life.

          • jude

            Good for you for seeing that and realizing! I hope you have many more relaxed and happy times this year with your family.
            With life you have to juggle so many balls: health, family,work, the one ball you can drop and it can bounce right back when you need it to, is the work:)
            That little gem is from Suzanes Diary To Nicholas by James Patterson

        • jude

          There are an awful lot of “firsts” sorry:)

      • Wendy

        I still think Im 27. A friend teased that I was 27 plus GST. I helpfully reminded him that if I was 27 plus GST, he was 27 plus Russian inflation.

    • Genevieve

      53 !

    • Odd Ball

      Not quite old enough to be a senior Ulysses club member…

      • jude

        I am so sorry.That flew straight over my head:)
        Just if you could give me your age….in the 70’s???

        • Odd Ball

          Just under 50…

          • Odd Ball

            I should point out that my kids firmly believe I am 27, so in some ways, it depends who you ask…

          • jude

            I can edit to what actual age. I have put you with us in 50-59?
            Sorry just a bit tired lol:)

          • Odd Ball

            Nooooooooooo….. should be 40-49

          • jude

            Calm down

          • jude

            I have edited you in correct bracket:)

          • jude

            Can I increase our score… Bugger it you are in with us cheers:)

    • I.M Bach

      I’m in a majority at last!

      • jude

        IT TOOK TWO NIGHTS:)

    • Chris Chitens

      26!

    • Melissa

      64

    • BW_Lord

      32 years young

      • jude

        I have added you in ! The update balances are now on todays General Debate:)

    • quethe

      Put me down for 70 -79, and my hubbie is 80. He reads but doesn’t comment.

      • jude

        I have updated the schedule! You can find it on today’s General Debate:) Welcome to Whale oil!

  • I.M Bach

    Just so you can spend the next few days getting this tune out of your head….

    • Moonroof

      Disturbingly catchy. Lalo Schifrin was jealous maybe.

      • I.M Bach

        “Disturbingly catchy.” A bit like herpes eh?

    • Don W

      Reminds me of my time in the school brass band. My favorite tune was that of the Hi Chapparal. I was playing the euphonium at the time.

      • I.M Bach

        Not forgetting the theme tune to Hawaii Five-O. I found an el-cheapo CD with that on it one day at a supermarket, couldn’t resist. Went to a two-day drag meeting at Meremere and on the Sunday morning I woke everyone up with it with volume cranked. Got some hearty laughs and a bucket-load of abuse.

  • pisces8284 .

    Well it beats Taylor Swift…

  • John D

    Reader for several years,–at last commenting: thanks Cam and S.B and all you other oilers for helping me through a difficult time, which at last seems to be coming to an end. Should soon be in a position to subscribe soon

    • Welcome aboard.

  • Wendy

    Tonights funny

    • Don W

      They really need to hand in their man card.

      • Wendy

        Football players. Nuff said.

  • Saggy

    Has anyone seen Wussell lately? I suspect he’s taken over Gareth Morgan’s body.

    • Don W

      I think they might be kissing cousins.

  • Dave

    For ex Air Force or the aviators amongst us, it’s looking like a good weekend here if the weather holds. We are getting a fly over at 300 feet from a C-17A Globmaster at the Jezzine barracks on our foreshore.

    • Wasapilot

      Excuse my ignorance Dave, but where are you?

      • Dave

        Townsville Qld, just 2 flights away

        • Wasapilot

          Christchurch- Brisbane – Townsville, done. See you on the weekend

          • Dave

            Kids returned to NZ today, almost identical trip in reverse. TVille – Bris – Chch then on to final destination, it’s the only way to get to a regional town from here in the same day.

            Will keep a cold beer for you!

          • I.M Bach

            Haha, do it, we’ll expect to see the pics right here on WO.

  • Adios Africa

    Gareth Morgan, Kim Jong-un’s ailurophobic Good Will Ambassador, has teamed up with the Racy Ratanas to ask the question of the age ‘What have the Pakeha ever done for us?’ An uncorroborated source says a voice from within the waterfall suggested that it was a lot more than a broken watch, a potato and a huia feather, directing them to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExWfh6sGyso

    • I.M Bach

      That’s so applicable, good call ;)

    • Alright

      …..and then there was electric power, and (generally) waterproof houses, and…..

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Rogue Morgan poll is out and it is one of many to come which will make Handy Andy shake with fear…..

    Today’s New Zealand Roy Morgan Poll shows National surging to 52% (up 6% since November 24-December 7, 2014); the highest support for National since June 2014. However, support for Prime Minister John Key’s Coalition partners has fallen with the Maori Party 1.5% (down 0.5%), Act NZ 1% (down 0.5%) although United Future is still on 0% (unchanged).

    Support for the main opposition Labour Party is at 26% (down 1%) and also down for the Greens 11% (down 1%) while NZ First is down 1% to 6%. For the parties outside Parliament the Conservative Party of NZ is 2% (down 0.5%) while the Internet-Mana Party alliance is at 0% (down 1%) and support for Independent/ Others is 0.5% (down 0.5%).

    If a National Election were held now the latest New Zealand Roy Morgan Poll shows that National would win in a landslide and be able to govern in its own right.

    Coinciding with the increase in support for the Government the latest NZ Roy Morgan Government Confidence Rating has risen significantly to 144pts (up 6pts). This is the highest the NZ Roy Morgan Government Confidence Rating has been since July 2010. There are 67% (up 4.5%) of NZ electors saying NZ is ‘heading in the right direction’ compared to 23% (down 1.5%) that say NZ is ‘heading in the wrong direction’. New Zealand Government Confidence Rating is now substantially higher than in Australia

33%