Whaleoil Backchat

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Tagged:
  • George

    When Martin Luther King delivered his “I have a dream” speech, he identified and targeted a real crisis, racial inequality. The speech became one of the greatest pieces of oratory in history. Today, we hade “I am a dreamer” speech from Andrew Little. Average oratory targeting imaginary crisis. When one has to invent crisis so one can be seen to be addressing the non crisis all you have is a hollow man with no where to turn. No solutions because there is no crisis. All there is, is a plan to travel the country over two years to hear what the people want. Save the expence Andrew. We have already told you what we want, a National Government.

    • Wheninrome

      Really out of date, don’t need to travel the country to find out what people want , we are modern we use social media, he could check it out without leaving town and he would learn the answer.

  • Carl

    And I must say there are quite a few.(pic)

    • Nige.

      One thing i learned early in adult life is that nothing brings two people together faster than a common enemy (enemy in common?).

      • caochladh

        Yes, ask anyone in law enforcement who has had the pleasure of attending a domestic incident.

  • ShortBackwardSquare

    There are strange things in every city – but this must be one of the strangest. Out in the open, unprotected nitrogen tanks…. here’s why…

    • Nige.

      wow. that was interesting. And i thought the U.S led the world in all things PC and namby pamby. Clearly in NYC it is not.

      • mommadog

        Another WO scoop by an oiler. Give it a week or two and Jack Tame will be reporting about the Nitrogen bottles on the street from NY.

  • jude

    It is so hot here in Wellington , we have had to give our birds a shower to cool down!
    They all love it ! They fly around in the mist and then groom themselves:)

    • greybeard

      Hi Jude, hopefully you might see the pics you asked for of the Tower of London Remembrance poppy, fingers crossed. My apologies for lack of professional photographic skills! It comes with the stand and some (Tower of) London dust!

      • Nige.
        • greybeard

          I’ll let you know if it goes on display at Blenheim RSA. Not sure when, haven’t spoken to them yet.

      • jude

        That is so special! I think it is so kind that you are willing to share this with people via the RSA.:)

      • That was a true inspired work of art, and you are lucky to have a piece of it.

    • Dave

      Over here, the Honey eaters, Peewee’s and Manikins dive bomb our swimming pool, come up, and fly around in a circle then its all on again, this ritual seems to go on for 10 minutes or so in small groups. The bird bath is almost next to the pool, but its not preferred at the moment. It is hot though, 37 degrees today, even the pool is 33 degrees now.

      • jude

        One day ,when we retire to Hawkes Bay, we may have a pool:)
        This heat is not normal for Wellington,
        I would love to have a bit of a breeze.The lawn along street is dead:(

        • Dave

          Nothing wrong with Wellington on a good day Jude. Pools are great in the hot climates, but an expensive hole in the ground for 4 months of the year here, and for 9 months of the year in most of NZ without heating. We are into the wet here, had approx 80 mm of rain in January, so its very green here ATM. We would prefer to be able to cool our pool, when its over 30 its like swimming in bath water!

          PS: Kangaroos grazing in the park approx 100 M from our home this morning

    • sarahmw

      I hope Mr Jingles is getting his fair share Jude.

      • jude

        He gets his own little shower! He loves it and gets very wet:)

  • Nige.

    Papillon answered last nights question with;

    “Had me in fits of laughter”

    What is the funniest joke you have heard/moment you have experienced?

    Having kicked the hornets nest, please feel free to visit; http://www.whaleoil.co.nz/commenting-moderation/ for a refresher

    • Isherman

      Geez Nige, give us a minute to finish reading the full transcript of Little’s speech today would ya..I’m sure there will be something in there that will qualify!

      • Nige.

        ha ha its a bit like that ay. After working a full 8hr day and then coming home to do some jobs around the house it think i might do what most people do…… NOT BOTHER.

        We already have the best available option running the country.

        • Isherman

          I’d be happy if I could just work out what the hell the title of the speech meant…Check against delivery????

          • Cowgirl

            Maybe it’s a call to his union paymasters for a check now that he has delivered?

      • GoingRight

        I tried but it was so boring I gave up before finishing it. What a dull and ineffectual man Little Angry Andy is!

      • Dave

        I have nicknamed him Little Angry “Gunna” Andy. His speech has confirmed he is Gunna fix anything and everything, he doesn’t know when, or how, or even how much it will cost, so he’s now Gunna.

    • Cowgirl

      Dog shaming. For some reason this internet meme makes actual water come out of my eyes every time:
      http://fb-troublemakers.com/the-best-of-dog-shaming-part-14-19874/

    • greybeard

      I posted this elsewhere ref eleanor catton –

      “Written a book, whoopdee doo. If you don’t like it here, go, or do something constructive to change things, but don’t bloody whinge publicly until you are somebody worth listening to.”

      The reply had me ‘in fits’ –

      “We try to do something constructive to change things every election, but people like you keep voting for National.”

    • Carl

      The best joke used to be the NZ cricket team but I will now change that to all the Warriors fans saying this year is the one.

      • Nige.

        go on. say it “and Nige who thinks that this year will be the makos year”. :)

        • Carl

          I thought about it but I would not care if you did win.

    • jude

    • JAFA Gazza

      Hat Tip to the Wo’er that posted this…but it is the funniest I have heard in a long time….

      A Muslim Cleric was in the High Court today accused of shag**ng a sheep.

      It is reported that in his defence, he said that it was Islamb and he could do whatever he wanted with it…

      (sorry mods! :( )

      • johcar

        Hat tip accepted with pleasure…

        • JAFA Gazza

          My pleasure – and apologies for not acknoledging by name…but that brought TEARS of laghter to the office – and 3 new Whale Oil viewers! So well done and thanks! :) :)

        • Nige.

          I should have known. :p

      • That reminds me of the time my mum caught me in the bath, erm, caught me in the bath.

        I said, “Mum, it’s mine, and I’ll wash it as fast as I like”*

        *for those shocked, no, no, not really

    • jude

      I posted this last year but our readership has probably doubled since then:) It still makes me laugh!..pic

    • EveryWhichWayButLeft

      It was interesting reading the posts earlier on Whale Oil about all our meat being prepared halal, using traditional Islamic techniques…

      Had me wondering – how the hell do you get a suicide vest on a cow?

    • Now, I can’t do the vasectomy one here as it robs me of all the subtle actions, nuances and the all essential crowd feedback, so I will drop to another one which I believe I have shared with you all previously.

      Scene: Me in my home office. Mr 6 walks in.
      6: Dad?
      P: Hmmm?
      6: I think the Tooth Fairy is dead
      P: What makes you think that?
      6: I put a tooth under my pillow 3 days ago, and it’s still there. She’s dead
      P: Did you tell mum about the tooth?
      6: No
      P: Hmmm!
      6: Another one has come out this morning
      (this is where working with a master of the dark arts comes in)
      P: Oh, then I understand why
      6: Why Dad?
      P: The Tooth Fairy is fairly clever, she probably didn’t want to make two trips. She’s waiting for your other tooth to come out. You watch, she’ll come when you have both of them there
      6: walks out with a “that makes total sense” look on his face

      Epilogue
      Woke up a few days later, asked Mrs Pete “did you do the Tooth Fairy thing in the end?”. I get a shocked look. So I quickly did the dirty deed as Mr 6 was already up. Walked into the lounge…

      P: So, how did that Tooth Fairy thing work out?
      6: She never came. You may be wrong Dad, I think she’s dead
      P: Did you check this morning?
      6: No
      P: She might have been then…

      Conclusion:
      We are bad parents…

      • caochladh

        Living in Edinburgh with Irish mother, father was overseas. From memory, I was about five or six and one of my teeth had fallen out, so as was the custom I put it under my pillow. The next morning, there was a note (too small, only worth threepence) and an Irish silver threepence piece. On the way to school, I called into the tuck shop to exchange my windfall for three pence worth of Trebor Chews. The man in the shop handed over the chews and also gave me a Scottish threepence piece as change. Not being one to question my peers, I spent the “change” on the way home.

      • rantykiwi

        Hey Cam. Can you pay Pete a bit more so he can afford to pay the tooth fairy without needing to resort to the volume discount plan?

      • Nige.

        The vasectomy needs its own post. Its ok. Its NOT waltzing matilda.

    • Watcher

      A Scotsman walks into the public library and asks for a book on suicide.
      The librarian replies:
      Och no way, Ye will never bring it back.

  • Isherman

    Today is Wednesday, has Andrew Little achieved either of the two positive News stories so far this week?, tic toc tic toc…

  • Wasapilot

    Not a mention of that spoilt brat caton on tv1 news yet as of 1835. Why am I not suprised.

  • armotur

    Holiday period over! Silly Gower scoring the SOTN speeches on TV3 News! Who the heck cares about his opinion! Just report the news you absolute Twerp!

    • Isherman

      Giving both a 3 out of 10 for delivery was a bit rich coming from him….

    • erm. Just don’t watch then.

      • pisces8284 .

        The mute button works just fine in our house. Makes them look even more stupid

    • cows4me

      Commie Dan was talking up little old Andy on TV One, I’m almost beginning to feel pity for him. He needs help.

      • Wasapilot

        I thought he was trying to put a positive spin on littles comments, but he seemed to realise that even the great commie dan couldn’t do that.

  • Win

    Former Heart of the City boss and Skypath director Alex Swney today admits $2 million tax evasion charges. Sentencing is in April.

    • armotur

      They live amongst us! So plausible! I wonder how many around him new or suspected but did nothing.
      The A hole deserves a strong lesson!

      • Win

        Quote from Herald ‘Judge Grant Fraser said the “outcome here is inevitable”.’

    • Cowgirl

      Didn’t he run for Mayor or something at some point?

    • Greg M

      I hope they nail him. This type of thing makes it harder for every one else. $2 million is a whole lot of hip operations.

    • Don W

      I saw him on the Tv a couple of times. He came across as an arrogant person who thought everyone else was beneath him. I hope he gets what he deserve from the justice system.

      • Win

        Heart of the City have also laid civil charges – yet to be heard. From NZ Herald “Last month Heart of the City’s board also announced it had launched civil proceedings against Swney. The company – registered by Swney in 1994 – confirmed an independent investigation had been completed by McGrathNicol and civil action had been taken as a result.
        Chairman Terry Gould said they had also obtained interim asset freezing and disclosure orders from the court.” So more to come.

        • Don W

          A cell shared with Dot com sound appropriate.

        • Disinfectant

          All we get is a prominent businessman description.
          Not in my world.
          He was simply a taxpayer/ratepayer beneficiary with millions to play with.
          Fools for giving it to him.

    • caochladh

      Ah! But there’s more to come……Auckland’s Heart of the City has launched civil proceedings and the SFO is still investigating other matters. Swney the swindler will serve time, dud judges aside.

      • Wallace Westland

        Yep and I for one won’t shed a tear. HOC with Sweeny leading the charge has for years stomped it’s foot, had billions of ratepayer monies spent on their glitz projects all to benefit a small proportion of CBD property and business owners disproportionately to the rest of Auckland.

  • mommadog

    BG2 – for the ladies and men who love their ladies. Some interesting research and even more of a reason for me to get this weight gone. Too long to post it all but the main point is the more fat you have the greater the risk of breast cancer –

    Body Fat, Hormones and Breast Cancer:
    In one recent study, instead of asking women how much weight they had gained during adulthood, they asked women in their 50s what size skirt they wore at age 25, and what size they wear now. They found that an increase of one size (e.g., size 8 to size 10) over the course of 10 years produced a 33% increase in the risk of postmenopausal breast cancer. In this study, skirt size was a better predictor of breast cancer risk than BMI, implying that visceral fat could be especially hazardous.

    If anyone reads the full page there is a wee bit of a sales pitch at the end for his book but ignore that and its an excellent summary of what is currently known about the link between fat and breast cancer.

    https://www.drfuhrman.com/library/body-fat-hormones-breast-cancer.aspx?utm_source=email&utm_medium=Blast&utm_campaign=012715-breast-caner-lead

  • cows4me

    Coming to a road near you and you thought speed cameras were the pits. For several years in the States the DEA has been using technology that tracks license plates in real time. The technology and programming for this big brother crap originally was produced to track drug dealers crossing the US and Mexican borders. Of course this stuff was just to good to waste on drug dealers the whole population should share the benefits of this wondrous surveillance state technology. So government being government they have rolled it out to cover the whole of the US, isn’t it marvelous. And of course many here will be very cheered to hear such news after all they have nothing to hide, spare me. But of course this technology can check a vehicles speed between two points so this will be fantastic news for cash strapped administrations, Len Will wet his pants when he hears about this. It’s only a matter of time.

    • peterwn

      Could help catch rustlers. Farmers on a side road near Wanganui got fed up with undesirables several years ago and installed a camera.

      • cows4me

        That’s being tried, the rustlers stoled the camera.

    • JAFA Gazza

      Hey Cows…asked a couple of days ago..were you at Raglan Wharf parked near Soul Shoes on Saturday?? The girlfriend pointed out an interestin number plate ( she is an avid reader here but not a commenter…)

      • cows4me

        Was on the way to Raglan but ended up in Kawhia, was on a Harley but it was two weeks ago.

        • Don W

          Kawhia is my neck of the woods.

          • cows4me

            Nice place Don, lived in Taranaki most of my life but never been to Kawhia before, nice road with plenty of bends into Kawhia. Was suppose to go to Raglan but some clown trimming his lawn said I had to go to Kawhia first, it wasn’t you was it ?

          • Don W

            I am half hour from Kawhia . Did you come up the coast road or did you take the main road then heading out on Kawhia road.?

          • cows4me

            No went to Otorohanga first.

          • Don W

            Then you would have come past my place on Kawhia road. Oto my home town.

          • cows4me

            I remember that name Don. If I’m back up your way I’ll call in and say hi.

          • Don W

            Let me know and I will give my rapid road no.

          • cows4me

            Sure thing and the same here.

          • JAFA Gazza

            Aww! Was in Kawhia over Xmas…first time. WHAT A STUNNINGplace!! Want to go back for the weekend soon…any recommendations for good accom near Ocean Beach?

          • Don W

            I am half hour from kawhia so we travel so I am not familiar with the accommodation there. There is a couple of camp grounds there. Aotea harbour just north of Kawhia is a nice place also.

          • JAFA Gazza

            Thanks Don. Will definitely be there this or next month. Looked out over Ocean Beach from the top of the walkway…..stunning. Big fan.

          • Don W

            Let us know and I will give you my rapid road no.

          • JAFA Gazza

            Done deal1 And I’ll buy you a beer at the Kawhia pub…. :)

          • Don W

            Done.

          • JAFA Gazza

            Brilliant – we should get a taranaki/ South Waikato Whale Oilers meet up sorted for the arvo in question….!!!

          • Don W

            Good idea..

          • JAFA Gazza

            Lets do it…first Saturday in March…!!! Help me promote it?

          • Don W

            Get people to bring their tents , I have the space

          • JAFA Gazza

            Cool! I’m a London trained Gastropub Chef….Spit roast…. we are in! Lets get this noticed…!!!

          • Don W

            Sounds good to me.

          • JAFA Gazza

            Excellent – I’ll talk to Cam see if we cant sort something….

          • Don W

            OK let see what we can do.

        • JAFA Gazza

          Ah cool – its been bugging her…the number plate was very similar to your handle – she wanted to put it to rest one way or the other! :) Silver Hyundai Santa Fe… :)

          • cows4me

            There are quite a few vehicles with cow in the number plate, there’s a few around here.

  • mark14

    american sniper…..

    • ShortBackwardSquare

  • ShortBackwardSquare

    The best map of NZ I’ve ever seen. This is either what we’ll look like in two million years time, or simply five kinds of awesome!

    And they didn’t even include Stewart Island.

    • Jimmie

      The North Is looks like a laughing pig.

      The South Is looks like a Sheep with a fish tail heading towards Antratica

      • Betty Swallocks

        South Island looks like the whale featured the other day that dropped the megapoo. Work it out for yourselves what the North Island looks like.

  • Alright

    Brendon McCullum went to meet with a prominent breeder a week or so ago to look at a potential purchase from the current Karaka yearling sale.

    The breeder: “We were having a couple of beers afterwards and
    I said: ‘What do you do for a living?’.”

    The reply was: “I play cricket.”

    “What, professionally?”

    “Yes, I have been paid to play for teams
    overseas.”

    “Do you play for anyone else?”

    “Yes, I captain New Zealand.”

    A question: have you ever failed to recognise someone well-known and been left red faced?

    • ShortBackwardSquare

      Jack Nicholson in FAO Schwartz, NYC. He got over it.

    • LabTested

      I used to work in a book shop in a certain part of town where the luvvies live. A woman came in and asked for a book. We didn’t have it. I said I could order it. She said OK & I asked ‘what is your name’? – if looks could kill I would be toast.

      Eventually she told me (nothing registered) & after she left another staff member asked me – didn’t you know who that was? I was still none the wiser. Someone off NZ TV.

    • JAFA Gazza

      Many years ago, in Melbourne, a guy cut me off and parked his red Ferrari in a spot I was about to reverse into in Toorak Rd. I got out and …well basically told him his heritage. He looked at me and asked ” Do you know who I am???” to which I replied ” Yes, you are the pretentious pr**k” that just took my parking spot”. He gave me the death stare and told me who he was. At that time I had no interest Aus cricket…lets just say he was a spinner for the Aus team with blond hair and a penchant for English actresses.

      • pisces8284 .

        So did you say So what? You are still the pretentious pr**k that just took my parking spot?

      • Alright

        Funny. Poor taste in cars. Why not a BMW?

        • JAFA Gazza

          I was driving a 325m….he is Australian! Guess youcan do the math.. ;)

      • rantykiwi

        It ain’t over ’til the fat lady spins.

      • It may be an urban legend but the story went around London for a long time about a Roller trying to reverse into a parking space. As the driver lined his car up and was about to reverse a mini nipped into the space and the driver got out and said smugly “You have to be small to do that. ” At which the drive of the Roller reversed into the mini doing considerable damage to the wee car. He leaned out of the window and said to the mini driver “.. and you have to be rich to do that!”

        • JAFA Gazza

          Love It!!! True or not!! ts like the old Winston Churcill quote whn he was harranged in a toilet for not wasing his hands… ( cant rember who) said…”At Eaton we are taught to wash our hnds after using the toilet”….to which WC said.. ” At Harrow we were taught not to piss on our hands…”

      • Nige.

        (circa 2005) My cousin who lives in sydney is a qantas mechanic. His mate came to work wearing a full wallabies training uniform. Signed.

        Being the type of job where he was likely to get it covered in grease evey one at work wanted to know the story and why this guy would desecrate such a treasure. (at the time the aussies were riding high. equal with us and were really backed by the public).

        He said “oh. the mrs gave it to me. It was her ex boyfriend. I dont care about rugby so i really dont see what the problem is. She gave me heaps of his old stuff”.

        The girlfriend had recently split with a playing member of the squad. The guy had no clue who he was.

        • JAFA Gazza

          Oh that begs soooo many questions…but hey..its a Wallaby shirt….pfft! ;)

          • Nige.

            On a completely different subject….Matt Rogers is one of the best players to have ever crossed from league to union and back again.

            Its funny because i hated him as a league player and then was almost instantly a huge fan once he crossed over to REAL rugby.

    • Wallace Westland

      Heaps of times but I’ve never been embarrassed about it. I haven’t turned a TV on a network channel in more than 10 years so I have no idea who some of these people who think they are somebody are. And I don’t care.

    • Reaper

      Germaine Greer. She seemed surprised that I didn’t recognise her. But if I met her again today I probably wouldn’t recognise her for a 2nd time.

    • Nige.

      Well… i have failed to recognize several people…but have never felt red faced. The most regrettable thing i have had is the “oh, i should have said _______”

      • pisces8284 .

        I always remember faces, it’s their names that escape me

    • pak

      Bumped into a gentleman in the corridor of a place I was staying at in New York some years ago. We got chatting. I asked what he did and he said he “worked in film” and recognising my accent told me he had a New Zealand assistant. Found out later it was William Hurt who (back in eighties) had made a number of well-known movies of the time – “Broadcast News”/”Kiss of the Spider Woman”/”Children of a Lesser God”/”Gorky Park” etc.

      • Saggy

        Don’t forget Nick in Big Chill. Great movie.

        • pak

          I had! That was a great movie.

      • Alright

        That’s a good story. Never saw Gorky Park (the movie), but read the the book. Broadcast News is a very good movie.

    • ex-JAFA

      Rachel Hunter. Although, in my defence, she had only just shot the famous Whangateau Trumpet TV ad and so wasn’t well-known at the time. She was at modelling school with my cousin whose house I was visiting. The red-faced bit came about because they were running around in next to nothing and I was a young teen with a tent in my shorts.

      • Alright

        So you describe it as a Pup Tent…

        • ex-JAFA

          Just for that, I won’t share the story about when I got all googly-eyed at a teen Greer Robson when I had the privilege of spending an evening with her…

          • Alright

            And your favourite recreational pass-time? Could it be pole vaulting?

  • Murray Smith

    I’m convinced after seeing this,

    • Murray Smith

      NOT

    • cows4me

      If he really stands for all that stuff Murray the best thing he could do is disband his idiot party. People like Little stand for big government, big government is the biggest hindrance to small business, they just gotta stick their noses in.

      • caochladh

        Yes, that’s where all the extra jobs come into play.

    • rantykiwi

      Wealthier, fairer New Zealand.

      In other words we will tax the wealthy until they are poor and give the proceeds to the indolent. I guess that would make more people “wealthy”, but it certainly ain’t fair. Little’s as bad as liar Brown

      • Nige.

        Someone the other night said somewhere; [paraphrasing] “if you want the fruit at the top of a tree then grab a ladder. Not a chainsaw.”

    • pisces8284 .

      He had me at the new glasses………….

    • Honcho

      I like this one better

    • Nige.

      Money obsessed envious socialists.

  • rantykiwi

    Yet another bludging beneficiary is in court for ripping off the welfare system, this time for $10k. When dud judge David Smith sentenced the recidivist scumbag all he managed to mete out was 6 months home detention without a single cent of reparation. What a joke – the $10k of public money she nicked equates to earning the minimum wage for 40 hours a week for the first 5 months whilst she sits on her lazy arse in the comfort of her own home. That’s not a punishment, it’s an insult to all of NZ’s law abiding citizens.

    • Greg M

      “Whilst she sits on her lazy arse in the comfort of her own home”. I bet you two bucks it isn’t her home, us mugs are probably subsidising that part of her lifestyle too.
      If she walked into the local dairy and pinched $9586.67 she would be jailed, it really gets on my goat when dropkicks like her get away with stealing off the rest of us.

      • Watcher

        Yep, but any reparation is just robbing Peter to pay Paul ain’t it?

        • rantykiwi

          Not really… it’s just a cut to her benefit and she’ll have to live with it. Then the taxpayer still saves that amount even when she continues to bludge.

          • DrFix

            A cut to the “bene” will most likely be compensated with an increase somewhere else …. like accommodation supplement

      • Aucky

        What about the crim from ‘Heart of the City’ who pleaded guilty to ripping us all off to the tune of $1.8 mill. That whole scenario needs a lot of sunshine cos there’s a lot won’t come out now due to the guilty plea. It stinks.

        • Win

          Lots more to come. Another court case in fact. And why does Auckland Council give/gift more than $1M to a $10 trust that Swney is involved with?

          • Aucky

            As you say, there’s a lot more to come. The thumbscrews were obviously applied to get him to change his plea. Way too much dirty laundry waiting to be aired for a not guilty plea. I’ll bet that there has been a lot of closing of the ranks going on.

          • caochladh

            I would say the thumbscrews would have been liberally oiled with other considerations for taking one for the team, so to speak.

    • Nige.

      Justice isn’t blind. If some looks poor then they don’t cop a fine.

      • rantykiwi

        It’s not the lack of a fine I have an objection to (getting blood out of a stone is a waste of time), it’s the lack of reparation which effectively endorses the fraud. I also have an issue with sentencing the bludging beneficiary to stay home as it has no effect on her lazy lifestyle – a sentence of 1000 hours community work would have taken up 6 months rather nciely and been seen as far more punishing by the indolent trollop.

  • pisces8284 .

    To add to the cat v dog debate…

    • Reaper

    • caochladh

      My contribution…………

    • Reaper

      • 1951

        Best ever.

    • I.M Bach

      Cat intelligence summed up.

    • Betty Swallocks

      You may already know about this series of videos on Youtube, but in case you haven’t seen them start here;
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M7ibPk37_U

      • pisces8284 .

        I think my dog thinks he is a cat, he adores Mr P and I am well down the pecking order for affection…..

  • cows4me

    Bloody hell there’s this funny wet stuff fulling out of the sky, does anyone know what it is ?

    • Greg M

      Last time that happened here it turned out to be a busted dunny pipe 5 floors up.

      • cows4me

        That can’t good ?

      • Watcher

        Reminds of this oldie but goodie.

        A couple living in the bush still have the old outside dunny & mum tells dad he best go fix the damn thing ,he reckons it was ok when he used it last ,she says best go look again it needs fixn so he trots out & inspect it and yells out theres nothin wrong with it ,she said whack your head in through the lid & see, next he screams out my bl..dy beards stuck,she says now you know how I felt.

        • Don W

          She was obviously not sporting a Brazillian.

    • Don W

      I give up . Thunder as well.

      • cows4me

        Had about 7 mls in 10 minutes so far.

        • Don W

          Got rained off about 3 oc. by the time I got to Tekuiti it was bucketing down but north of tk it was dry but when I got home we had about 6 mil but it came in again in Oto. It is all welcome.

          • cows4me

            It is welcomed Don, was thinking about feeding out in a few days. This will be a huge help.

          • Don W

            Might be more coming too. Fingers crossed.

        • Reaper

          I am envious. Ours is all over now. 3.6mls in total.

          • cows4me

            9 mls now but it looks like it’s called time out.

        • justhinking

          Angryandys tears of frustration!

        • Jimmie

          Tipped 17mls out of rain glass. Was in town when it hit – was nice to see when we got back

    • Isherman

      Well given the dry of late, I think we have to assume its climate change. If thats the case, I say can we have another couple of inches please.

    • Michelle

      few spits up here then get a phone call to say it is persisting down in town l could hear it
      Hoping to get some to freshen up things for a few days but the wind keeps drying it out so fast
      Had 6mms yesterday but it was gone once the sun and wind got up this morning

  • Nige.

    • Greg M

      I still hammer that out on the bass fairly often. Timeless.

    • armotur

      Long time, Always hits the spot. Thanks

  • Nige.
    • ex-JAFA

      Thanks. My mistake. He was playing *for* Otago *against* Waikato or BOP when I heard the name and thought “how inappropriate!”.

      • Nige.

        Heh. I had to see for myself and provide a link for proof otherwise I couldn’t have let it through. I’ll get some miles out of that little bit of trivia!

  • mike

    Just saw this on my YouTube recommended list… awesome comment.

    • Murray Smith

      Safety net, into a fishing net. Love it.

  • kiwisnab

    Had a thought today in regard to yesterdays post “Wasting police time or community relations” while driving past one of those pole mounted radars that display speed and if required, tell you to slow down.

    I assume that these radars are endorsed by the police, if not I stand corrected, and that therefore they are providing a community service. So the question is if 500 yards past one of these radars you get pulled over for speeding, and you reply “sorry Officer, the pole mounted radar 500 yards that way said is was dong 50 kph”, what happens next?

    • Disinfectant

      Once got a ticket and decided to see if the Pole on which the camera was mounted had a Resource Consent. It didn’t.
      Ticket was withdrawn.

  • peterwn

    So the union is planning an all out 24 hour strike at Lyttelton Port. There are two things they should bear in mind.
    1. This will encourage a push to automate loading and unloading operations. Containers will be automatically loaded and unloaded between ships, trucks and rail wagons. This will remove a significant operational issue – health and safety.
    2. Trains and trucks of the future will be driverless.

    • Disinfectant

      One of their gripes is healthy and safety.
      An idea would be for the Port company to quantify the cost of it’s health and safety in dollar terms and hand it over to the Union to run.
      They would then be able to demonstrate that they have the answers and be held accountable by Work & Safety.
      Do you think they would take up the challenge?

      • HSV325

        No they wouldn’t as they would have to unload and discipline too many of their members for H&S breaches. Unions are very good at complaining about an issue and the only solution they seem to be able to offer up is too pay more money.

        • Asian_driver

          Why not call health and safety what it really is , drug use by the workers, of course you are more likley to be injured or killed using heavy machinery if you are off your face

    • Cadwallader

      I have seen robotic trains operating in Australia. They are not far away indeed. Little Angry’s union mates better get ready to suck it up!

      • Disinfectant

        Operate in Christchurch already.

        • FredFrog

          Been operating in London for decades. The Docklands Light Railway trains don’t even have a drivers cab, and on the Central Line the only function of the person in the drivers cab is to open and close the doors at stations.

      • ShortBackwardSquare

        Paris underground has driverless trains operating on some lines. They are great as you can stand right at the front for a brilliant view of what’s going on.

    • jude

      That will be a great reminder (as if we needed one) of how useless these unions really are.
      How to try to kill business and make it uncompetitive.
      I hope they get told exactly where to go :)

    • conwaycaptain

      If the wharfies in Lyttelton are anything like the Seamen we used to get just dump them. An inbred bunch of no hopers

    • Nige.

      Do they think Andy will come out and publicly support that or something?

      This can only end in tears. Catch 22.

    • Asian_driver

      So what does Dalzeil have to say, Her council owns the port , but who does she support ? She should be protecting the ratepayers investment, or will she be silent and let her union mates walk over the ratepayers interests

      • Wasapilot

        The silence is deafening, as expected.

    • Pluto

      Have more faith I say.
      Didn’t Andy say he saved Fonterra and Air NZ ?
      Lyttelton Port should be a breeze

  • hookerphil

    There was a song similar to that once like that – Camp Granada – Hello Mudda, Hello Father etc.

  • Wasapilot

    Just read this, interesting to see the experience of the Pilbara region in WA http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2013-10-02/rio-replacing-train-drivers-paid-like-u-s-surgeons

  • Wendy
  • Wendy

    Second attempt…

  • I.M Bach

    I don’t know how true this is but I did get a chuckle out of it.

    Supposedly…

    This took place in Charlotte North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost ‘in a series of small fires.’ The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and WON!

    (Stay with me.)

    Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that
    the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable ‘fire’ and was obligated to pay the claim.Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the ‘fires’.

    NOW FOR THE BEST PART…

    After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

    This true story won First Place in last year’s Criminal Lawyers Award contest.

    ONLY IN AMERICA … NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS THEY ARE NUTS!

    • rantykiwi

      Snopes says it’s crap. But it’s still a good laugh.

  • Isherman

    Does anybody happen to know when the next round of political polls are due by any chance? I’m going to pick the Blue team up by 2, Red down 1 more. Also, I see small business numbers grew 2.5% in the 2013-14 year, equating to roughly 10K people, more bad news for Andy.

    • Nige.

      Sorry mate, I have no idea. I hope that helps. Have a great day!

  • Dave

    There is an upside with Angry Andy being leader of the Labour party. you know that the secret dirt file is absolutely huge, and no doubt National and “others” have filing cabinets full of stuff to send back at him, whenever he tries to get at National. Its going to be interesting.

  • jude

    …. Facebook Young Nats. 70 years ago,the horror of Auschwitz discovered by the Russian army.

  • Day two of full on training.

    Yesterday attended gym with my trainer Henry Schuster. Loads of bag work and footwork, skipping and core work…and hour and half later, almost on my knees, can feel my arms and shoulders stiffening up, but feeling good.

    Sore as all hell today but got out and did a brisk 8km walk around lunch time, but since today is my fasting day not much in the tank.

    This evening did another 3-4km around neighbourhood.

    Weight is coming off fast, and now I am doing the 5/2 plan even faster.

    Might start doing posts about the pain…but no sooks in this man’s army.

    • jude

      I admire you taking on that challenge of going into a boxing ring.
      It must be the most challenging sport in terms of having to have fitness and stamina.
      Keep going with the training.This could be a life change experience. You will gain skills not only to box, but to take care of yourself health wise too:)

    • caochladh

      The 5BX is an old favourite way to keep a fitness level.

    • Watcher

      Mmm good for you big boy, there is no doubt you are in the win win space.

      The worst that can happen is a KO..the good thing about that is that there will be less weight to hit the canvas ;-)

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