Exclusive Interview with Mr X’s ‘X’

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In which Cameron Slater may/or may not conspiratorially Moderate an interview with  John Stringer, but the identity of Mr X’s ‘X’ will remain anonymous because s/he knows those involved and for fear of retaliation. His or her observations are to the best of our knowledge accurate although their opinions,  poems and baseless allegations are of course their own and not endorsed in any way.
[A lot of ex-pelicans have been deleted from this dialogue. Damn, that spell checker again!].
Cameron Slater  Intervener.  Well, thank you for being here in such love and support.  Can you confirm you are in fact John Stringer?”
John Stringer Mr X’s ‘X’:  Well, to quote the rather gun-ho Semen Lusk, “You might say that Mattie, but I couldn’t possibly comment.”
Intraveiner: That sounds a bit dirty…politics.
Mr X’s “X’:  I can assure you Intraveiner, it’s all in vein and bloody good.
Intravenous:  How much did you pay Mrs Y, was it sex figures?

Ex-X: Mrs Y has a really great sexy figure, but I’d rather not go in to personal matters in this interview, after all, there was no sexual harassment claim, as claimed, because I made it go away with my magic hands. I was very creative.
Intervention:  So what you’re saying is there was a conspiracy?
Eggs: There was no piracy as such, I think you’re confusing me with Krim Dotcon and Mega Mitre10.
Interventionist:  Yes, but don’t you and Peat go way back?
EX: You need to retract that and apologize by the 25th November, and send me all your emails.  It is defaming to suggest dirty Peat is in any way associated with my back.  He gives me a occasional back rub by phone, but not in a gay way.  It’s just his way of backing his hard drive up after Nicky Hager emptied it.
Intervertebral.  Why did you call Conservative party members a bunch of bigots?
eX:  That’s a scurrilous dirty politics allegation.  I said they were a “bunch of ingots,”  i.e. gold, and they loaned me lots of it.  I can prove that, I have the receipts, but they’re currently with the legal department of the Electoral Commission on the M30 highway, next to Wellington Police.
Interval:  You claimed “Stringer would be well and truly screwed.” Was that the “fair go and “free and fair” politics you said you were standing up for?
eXit: Look, you’ve got to Stand for Something. But I can’t stand John Stringer. Perhaps on his neck.
Internal:  But are’t you John Stringer?
XoX: Lol You might say that Mattie but Semen Musk says I can’t possibly comment.  Besides, he’s shot through on the pigs back.
Intervocalic:  Can you cast any light on this Dirty Politics Brigade”?
InXs: Yes, It’s a group of dirty firemen from Triton, a Dirty Fire Brigade.  They specialize in putting out political fires orchestrated by Simone Tusk, dampening down conspiracies, cleaning up political debate with their hoses and watering down any financial wets.  There’s a 12-page booklet you can buy on them. It has photos and cartoons.  Its called “Flirty Politics and Hidden Genders: the Dirty Fire Brigade and their campaign of flies.”  Published by Pinocchio Productions.  $6.66.
Intervalometer:  Well thank you for giving us the time. I know you have to rush off now and be creative with  Paul Henry and then grab a muffin at McGrageor’s. But could you just confirm for us, when the Bored got gored while out porkie-hunting with Timon Dusk?
oXo: There were porkies coming at us left, right and center. Even some from that middle party, ACT. The Bored did its best, they even rolled out Kirsten Rankin to swallow them hook line and sinker.   Stringer had been going hard on it for weeks, y’know, those hard-tack sun dried bacon bits.  But money and sex sells, especially if its someone in office…with curtains.  Just remember, Colon Crag has always been honest in the past…except when he pretended to be me, and himself, or when he’s talked to Paul henry, or Sean Plunket, or Mark Sainsbury, or Marcus Lush which is why I’m now his ‘X’ which marks the spot.  Not a blue dress spot.
The Moon’s the limit really.  The limit to an illustrious political career.
– Author unclear.  Unless you can work it out.  There may even be two of me.  Them.

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.

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